I really appreciate that, my friend. Your input has helped me a lot. It’s helped me to gain some new perspectives and also to reaffirm some.
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Thanks Paul! I had to google “Me ol’ Mucker” since I haven’t come across that particular slang before. 
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long beginning half of the day, had my first I.OT. this morning I have to come up with a relapse prevention plan for tomorrow’s meeting. Wish me luck,
it goes easy for me.
So today I’m feeling a lot of intense ness with a few feelings today.
I feel like I always say it’s been an emotional rollercoaster… Maybe that’s what life is. Struggling a bit but despite feeling exhausted with it all, I’m here and I’m sober. Went out for lunch today to my favourite café.
There was tea 
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I’d already checked in this morning…
Its 6.25 pm and I feel like giving in, I just don’t want to be in my head anymore.
I feel stressed and sick, doctors want me in hospital because of a major infection, I’ve got to go to court tomorrow and the evidence I give will send a person down.I got a text off an old dealer, that’s just fucking stirred me Inside.
I feel a weak addict today… I know I shouldn’t but why the fuck not!
I’m fighting with myself too much!!
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@Jennajen Take care. We will miss you!
@Imcrafty I’m not sure if this will be useful to you or not, but Frequency Specific Microcurrent has been a really useful pain treatment for me–after not being able to find help in the medical industrial complex. Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of practitioners and if you’re able to find one in your area, insurance will generally not cover it; however, I wanted to mention it just in case it’s something you would be interested and can find in your area.
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Happy hump day everyone! Long time no check in. I hope everyone has an awesome sober day! Its a perfect fall weather day here outside Chicago.
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Ohhh nooo @anon27760155 I am sorry you are feeling this way!! Stay strong girl!! You have got this… Remember why you started!!!
You have 60 days!!! You are doing soooo good. Just get through now… get through today and I cant stress this enough but get out of your head (NOT by doing drugs, drugs will NOT help)!!! If you can get through today you will be surprised when you wake up tomorrow feeling much better!! Cheering for you!! 
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Hi Frank!!
I’m at 4 months today! Woohoo!!
I bet it’s beautiful up there. We had 70s here in the morning. It was great!
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Congrats!!!
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Thanks! I know you were here when I was struggling.
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Trust me you don’t want to. Just keep playing that tape. Using will solve absolutely none of it, it will actually put you in your head even more and spiral it worse out of control, relpases are ten times worse after some time abstaining. Fuck you’re dealer and tell them that, they want nothing from you. I had a dealer text me once to. Just ignore it, go for a small walk. Call it a early night, put some head phones in and listen to some music. Look down at those feet right now and look how damn far you have come. Don’t give it up to some feelings, they will pass. Tomorrow is another day
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Block the dealers, you don’t need that noise. I can only dream about having 60 days here from my 19, don’t make yourself have to start again. You will feel worse if you do. Keep a fresh head for court and get the medical attention you need. Stay strong, you’ve got this.
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19 days complete. Into day 20 now. Stressed in anticipation of trying to find the strength to contact the rest of my creditors tomorrow, I have major anxiety when it comes to phone calls, but they’ve got to be done. The drug used to give me enough confidence to face them head on but I must learn to do these things sober. I will pray for the strength tonight 
I know it’s the only way for anything to move forwards, if only my flat would sell, this would all have been resolved if it wasn’t for Covid. Argh.
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Hey, I hope you’re doing ok right now. You’re not a weak addict; you’re going through regular emotions considering what you’re going through right now.
Breathe; center yourself. You’ll get through this. You knew this court date was coming up, right? It does suck but you’ll get on the other side of it.
Lmk how you’re doing today.
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Hi all, a quickie message tonight just to say goodnight and to wish everyone a happy and sober day / evening.
I’m pretty tired today, what with a dive down to 40 m and all… it takes a bit out of me !
In any event, I hope that you are all well… goodnight.
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yeah for sure man, lot’s of little hurdles to overcome, but they all manageable. We can do this 
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yeah thankyou, today has been a bit better actually, limiting my social media/internet use has been a good move. Today was all about some home DIY and learning to play some boogie woogie on the keys
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Day 17, checking in. Having a bit melancholic mood, but I keep going.
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