Day 26. I’m very tired, slept only 3 hours. But so relieved. Talked through some really difficult topic yesterday. It wasn’t easy at all, but I think the hard part is coming just now.
Oh, and my covid-test was negative.
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Day 54. tomorrow my daughter is going back to university in italy. It puts me under stress that we cannot fly there whenever we want, but I prefer to believe that this period will pass with good health. Life continues, I continue to work from home. During this period, it was a very different experience to fulfill both the duties of a businesswoman, a housewife, a wife and a mother from home. But everything goes better since the day I chose to be sober
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
40 days again today.
A zoom meeting at 10.00 today.
Husband came back home late yesterday even and can entertain his own guests today.
Teen is supposed to come home this weekend (today) sun is shining, it’s cold as heck and rainy but sunshine is always sunshine.
Feels like a good day, happy Friday everyone. 
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I second that! It’s amazing how much of a difference sunshine makes on how I’m feeling. It gets really cold here at times in the winter but we have more sunny days than not and I prefer that to the dreary, wet and cold days any day!
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That’s righteous, I love it 
Thank you for sharing and for the kind words of encouragement! I knew that the only way I would be successful this go around getting sober is by dragging myself out of my own head. I have been hiding there and have gotten stuck for a long time! The more I can do to get engaged in helping my community the more I am, in turn, helping myself find my sense of self-worth again. It’s a survival technique that I sure do hope works. I’m fairly confident it is the beginning of finding that greater sense of purpose I will need to keep on keeping on sober and healthy.
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84.03 Days
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Whoopp !! Good for you and a big up , Proud fellow member here !
Good Day peopz
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- Finally got an invitation to start schema therapy. It will be an hour travel by train or 2 by bike to get there, once a week, starting November 19. Waited six months since the diagnostic interviews. Well, stuff gets better with age they say. Hope it’s true. Will start some preparation for it. In the meantime I’m going to get out now as it’s dry and maybe it will stay dry for some hours. Ordered a new pc. And want some cheese from the farm. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam and Great Sand Dunes NP Co. One year ago today, it feels a lot longer.
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Awsome news, it really brought me a lot. The understanding and knowledge fromout the inner child why we behave and react or coop with things we do… Hang loose, absorbe the ride and taken it easy. It can be pretty confrontational maar ben super stoked dat je deze verwijzing hebt want mijn ervaring is super.
Are the sessions 1 on 1 or with a group of others as well?
Fijne dag maat
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It will be a group. The interviewers/verwijzers were adamant that’d be best for me. Will see. Jij ook een goeie dag Joost.
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I hoped it was a group !!! Nice one m8
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Checking in.
On reality/irreality
I really enjoyed reading your post. I was about to post about the new reality in recovery (“like a new me/new life”), and the sense of ireality (“it feels like it’s unreal”…compared to weeks ago). It’s interesting because I wanted to talk about it to find the words to explain my experience. I am only coming on my first month again, but even if I have so much changed in the past month, that my days are totally different from the last 6 months or so (but not totally new to me since I’ve been sober in the past), that I am feeling so much better… it doesn’t feel weird or anything. It doesn’t because deep down I just know, I feel this and I felt for so long that I needed to do this. I feel that I am on the right path - or just scrap that right/wrong path: I feel this is my path. So I can get that sense of ireality when I look back to where I was not so long ago (obsessed about drinking, feeling horrible…) but that past time is what feels unreal, not my day now. Why? Because I just feel this is my day. This is me. Not back then. The part of the drunk me was a fake-me.
Also @Fargesia_murielae I just wanted to point you that your insight are really deep and understandable, while also being relatable to some other theoretical references. Your description is really close to the phenomenological philosophy, which is basically understanding the world as we live it - as a lived world - through corporality, spatiality, temporality, relationally, etc. Understanding feeling (and world and life themselves) in a phenomenological point of view is putting aside the subject-object division for a moment (“I” vs the world) to just describe/understand what the encounter of this object/world/feeling/others is . And for a lot of people, if I may add, what you describe about not understanding the sense of “I” and “self”, is something experienced by lots of people out of the autism spectrum, and while emotions and values can be hard to “understand” from an autism point of view, I can definitely say that a huge majority of people struggle to understand it too - in a different way, of course, but still struggle.
So I think what you saying today is an important remember for all of us. Feelings and emotions are, and were always - well before langages they were here, evolutionary speaking - informative, adaptative states. We, as human, try to put a word on it to grasp their reality, like we do for the whole world, but we’ve got to remember we arrived where we’re at today, as a specie, because we were able to listen to those information that the body got us. Of course a lot of things came after that… But we still can just feel and know. I guess we can drop the reference here of the “listen to your hearth” kind of saying.
Long story/answer short, thanks for sharing, lol, and come back more often with those insight 
hope you’re fine
PS: what’s the book title?
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Yay… 2 years is awesome can’t wait till I get there. Many congrats, you’ve got this! 
Blessings and sobriety!
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Day 249. Little better day I geuss. Just want to apologise bc sometimes i don’t respond to every one or give recognition to some ppl and it’s nothing personal, sometimes on my bad days I just don’t notice stuff and I’m out of it. But so many of you are just doing great and killing it and I’m proud of you all. Anyways happy Friday have a good day
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We train people how to treat us. Now that you’re growing, your boundaries are changing and matter more to you. The transition to new boundaries can be difficult, especially when people are used to taking you for granted. However, even though they’ll be annoyed at first, they will acclimate. They just need to be retrained. Consistency is key. Hang in there, you deserve to be treated well.
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Glad to see you back, AWESOME numbers. Be there for family but don’t overextend, ever. Keep on trucking girl!
Blessings and sobriety!
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134.29 days sober and anorexia/bulimia counter is at 14.5 days. It’s hard to gauge the anorexia side as logging food and calories is triggering. I feel like I’ve been overeating and feel bloated and fat, but logically when I look at it, I think I’m under 800 calories a day. That’s the number I go by to eat so I’m not restricting. I know it seems low, but it’s a start for me.
My new desk was delivered yesterday and I broke down and ordered a handyman to put it together off that handy app. Man I love that app!!!
Anyway, I’m very tired. It’s been a long and hectic week. Looking forward to relaxing.
Have a great sober day everyone
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Good morning TS folks. I’m waking up on day 12!!! Thank you to everyone on here for the wisdom on getting through my craving yesterday I feel so good this morning. I’m sleepy but feel great I powered through yesterday. I feel different now that I didn’t give in. Usually when I feel like I felt when I posted on here, I would have eventually relapsed at some point and would not be checking in proud of my days this morning. Thanks again to Everyone here you are all truly inspiring and give me hope for sobriety. Have a Fantastic Sober Friday. 
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