Check-in take 2. Instead of being at the dojang (school) I am at home waiting for the coronavirus test results. Found out this morning someone had symptoms so I needed to get tested. Hopefully the results will be back in the morning. I will be glad when all this virus stuff is over.
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Oh me too, Frank. My sister up north just got tested this morning too. 
for you both.
Edit: she got her results already; negative!
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My first go around with this quitting drinking thing was a different beast than this time. My fella would ask me to do that kinda stuff and I was like āno. I just canātā it was terribly triggering. I had to actually ask him to stop drinking at home for months.
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Hi everyone, time for me to pack it in for the night.
For the first time (as I mentioned the other day), Iāve now uploaded TWO diving videos to Youtube, at the following links.
These are not commercial in any way, nothing violent, no sex, just scuba diving.
Could someone please check to see if these links work properly ? Iām pretty new to uploading stuff to Youtube !
Other than that, things are OK over here. Fortunately, I have enough work to do (in addition to studying Japanese) to keep me busy over the weekend, otherwise I would go nuts.
Iām getting pretty close to 60 daysā¦ and Iām happy about that.
OK, goodnight everyoneā¦ if anyone bothers to look at the videos, I hope that youāll like them. Iāll be uploading a few more once I get them finished.
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Holy moly, that moray eel was too close for comfort!
So beautiful!
For me itās ok by now, actually it was the first occasion, when I felt it more brutally. Also I donāt want to alter too many things in our lives because of sobriety, because it must be in my mind, not in the circumstances. Triggers exist, but my sobriety will always be challenged, I have to get used to it. It was a good lesson.
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Just wait until you see the shark video that Iām working onā¦!
By the way, thanks for watching, at least now I know that the links work properly, and that I havenāt screwed up the upload process !
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Aināt that just how we are though, concerned about when the happiness ends instead of enjoying whatās right in front of us. Well done BTW 
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I love how you didnāt stoop to her level Beth. I give you a ton of credit for being so accommodating. Then she has the nerve to bad mouth your daughter, wtf?! She keeps that shit up, mamma bear will have to react. 
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Iām at 69!
I packed my mother back to where she belongs, after countless times being told you dont have a drug problem, dont see why you cant just have a bottle of wine with me (please note my father death was from Bleeding esophageal varices, so my view now is I never ever want a drink again!) And the last straw that made me go right thatās it was mocking the journey Ive decided to takeā¦ get the fuck out
So what I really want to say is Iām still fucking sober, after one problem after another Iām still hereā¦ for that im proud of myself, proud to have stood my ground with a vicious mother, I might feel upset and angry how things have gone but Iām here still doing all this alone and for once Iām happy to say Iām so fucking glad Im doing this alone and the only person I have to think of is me right now. There is still hate and regret that takes time but just for today Iām happy I stood my ground 
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Well as you would say Iām fucking proud of you too. BTW that resentment you carry is like you drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Itāll rot your insides and no one else will feel a thing. Well done on your sober days 
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Checking in for days 26, 27 & 28, Iām at 4 weeks, it doesnāt feel like 5 mins since I checked in with 3 weeks.
Been having some traumatic substance related nightmares, that have triggered flashbacks to suicidal feelings I used to feel every day whilst using, but it is just reinforcing my sobriety and reminding me I never ever want to be back there 
Have been out walking every day this week, and started group therapy this week too, my head is a much calmer place to be. Injury still no better, but thereās nothing more I can do, hoping to get a free day next week to see a GP.
I had a viewing on Wednesday and Iāve got another tomorrow, still no offers but praying I get one asap 
The days are going by much faster lately, just by breaking them up with some walking. Itās better like this.
Thank you all for continuing to inspire me. You are all amazing 
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Feeling proud of myself! Itās my parents 50th anniversary tomorrowā¦ and I have twice been in a licensed premises today celebrating with family members. I wasnāt tempted at all. I didnāt think I would be, as I feel strong and determinedā¦ but you just never know!!! Today was a good dayā¦ itāll be 12 completed days in approximately 50 minsā¦ but I need my bed. Night all. Tx
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Youāre a solid rock star, Danni. Iām soo proud of you it makes me want to send a big mama bear hug. Strength personified.
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Checking in sober and cigarette free 
Feeiling a bit flat today and thatās okay. I think Iām just tired from the work week. Tonight is my last night and Iāve been thinking of some self-care things I can do over the weekend to cheer myself up a bitā¦ sleep in, exercise, meditate, cook, watch movies, stay in pajamas etc. Hoping everyone finds some relaxing time this weekend 
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I was going to wait for 150, but since it was a tough week Iām throwing this one out there!
A special shout out to @anon60334405 and @Dragonflygirl82 for helpingā¦
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Well done for surviving a tough week! Congratulationsš
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Thanks, Fleur!
Your an amazingly strong and caring woman. So proud of you sista! 
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