Day 18. My moods are regulating so a lot of my old patterns are coming up. I knew it would happen but instead of letting those patterns defeat me, I am beginning to accept them. I have had slip-ups recently but I refuse to allow the ‘end of the world’ phases to control my life. And if they do, that’s okay too.
Rock on, Superstars 
802 days alcohol free. Happy saturday
Right on bro you’re my first friend in Belgium!!! Have a great night and sleep well!!! 
@crystalclear Congrats on 400! 
@Dragonflygirl82 I’m so sorry they didn’t do the paw print, sending strength to you 
also fully relate to that meme!
@I.cant.We.can Congrats on 9 months! 
@apes2020 Hard relate to the wanting to eat, Netflix, and sloth, have fought the urges myself by being productive today too, have you got the app called The Pattern?
@Katie11 Welcome and congrats on 4 days and your first meeting.
@Soll Congrats on 60 days!
@MrsOdh Thank you for your determination to be there for the girl, she needs someone like you in her life. I’ve spent the last 9 years working in residential children’s homes, so I’m rooting for you and your husband getting custody so she can finally have some stability P.S I ordered some Beanies Pumpkin Spice flavoured coffee today, can’t wait til it arrives so I can try it
@Ness Congrats on 50! sorry you’re feeling low, there are a few of us feeling this way lately, we are never alone.
@Mychelle Congrats on 50! Your happiness is palpable
@IcanIwill Congrats on 40! I’m pleased you’re feeling better after the cleanse 
Checking in with 36 days. I was awake early, it’s still totally dark outside when I wake now. I had to go to my hometown first thing for my flu jab, so before that I went to the post office there to apply for disabled car tax, then I had enough time to go for a 30min walk down by that town’s river, where I used to jog over a decade ago! It was very nice, everyone I passed said ‘Good Morning’, no one does that where I live! Then I had my jab and drove home.
I went for another walk this afternoon and listened to a podcast, I’m actually preferring it to music for now, it feels more empowering.
I’ve msged with a friend this evening, which is a rare thing for me, so was nice to connect and catch up.
I quit Coffee back in February, but since I’ve started having all these Zoom meetings, I’m adding it back in, I’ve ordered 6 jars of Beanies.flavoured Coffee, 3x Pumpkin Spice, Mocha, Cinder Toffee, and Caramel Popcorn. I’m looking forward to trying them when they arrive in a few days
Tomorrow I plan to do some journalling, almost managed to sit down and do some today but didn’t quite manage it, so I came on here instead.
Sending love and light to all, we are never alone 
Continuing tags because it wouldn’t let me mention more than ten!
@RosaCanDo Congrats on 40! sorry about the heartburn, I hope it has eased now
@Figgie Congrats on 50! Well done for staying strong despite the triggers, I’m glad you and your son have each other as extra accountability.
@TSan Congrats on 3 weeks I hope the power is restored and your car is back in working order
Thank you, yet we have no idea how it’ll end. Hopefully it’ll clear out next week.
I love Pumpkinspiced everything. Please give us an update on how you like it. I’m drinking a crazy amount of pumpkinspiced lattes these days, because of all the zoom meetings with school. I absolutely prefer that before going into the city and actually campus. But the coffee is most definitely needed.
Congratulations to your days, keep collecting them 
How’s the 1 year old’s birthday party going??
I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way. I know how difficult it can be to pull away from that incessant voice in your head and the feelings that go along with it. I hope that the Zoloft helps. I know that medication is a god send to a lot of people. Just remember that if it’s not working for you or if things are getting worse, don’t hesitate to let your doctor know so s/he can switch it up for you.
This is such a lonely time for a lot of people even more than normal and it’s no surprise that these feelings might be worse. Do you have a mental health professional that you can talk to about these feelings? I’m not sure if you’re getting Zoloft from a family doctor or a mental health professional.
What a sweetheart to get you such a fantastic gift!
Great job staying strong @Figgie!!! You are fighting the good fight and its allll sooo worth it!! 
Day 85
Having some serious mom guilt. You know how I said I was feeling burnt out as a mom?? Well… I let the grandparents take my daughter to Utah for 6 days!!! It was pretty spur of the moment and all happened this morning, they were going and asked if they could take her with them. And now shes gone. 
I know its a 3 hour drive and I can always go get her if I need to. I just feel anxious.
In other news… I have ran 27 miles so far for October. Nothing to brag about buts its more than the 0 miles I had before I started. I want to get my average up to 2 miles per day for October so I am gonna have to do some long runs. I have nothing but time now as I dont even remember what life was like before having a kid. 
Have a great day!
@RosaCanDo @IcanIwill
Congrats on the BIG 40 days!! You gals!
Today is 4 weeks for me. I’m happy about that. Or as happy as my depression will let me be at the moment. I’m so incredibly burned out, and sad, and tired, and fed up with so many things. But. At least I’m not drinking and suicidal because of that I guess. I really really am looking for silver linings and trying to practice gratitude but my depression is so bad and compounded by real life things at the moment that I’m just really struggling. But. Everything passes. Tomorrow is a new day and things are hard now but they can’t possibly stay that way forever. Dear universe. Feel free to ease up off a bitch yo! 
so mote it be.
It was nice, he is so cute and it was wonderful to see him. But he is still a baby so they didn’t stay for long. Never seen such a small kid eat that much either,but he just learned how to walk so I guess he usues the energy. Today’s most funny thing was when we all discovered that our 8 y/o thought the baby’s name was Elf. It’s Alvin and in Swedish the word for Elf is Alv so it’s very similar. So now he’s got from Little Alvin to The Little Elf 
Still day 34. It was a rough day emotionally, although nothing really happened. I was just feeling myself so down and depressed. The cravings are more and more intense. I ended a conversation in the middle with my best friend, didn’t want to talk to her. Never done this before. I want to hide but also want to be found at the same time. I wait for help from the outside, although I know I shouldn’t.
Sorry for whining so much, but writing these down helps to organize my feelings.
@Imcrafty & @Tomek I’m sorry you’re both really struggling. Be kind to yourselves, I’m sending strength and hope for better days🙏🏻
Thank you. I appreciate it.
I’m still learning this, but the buzz from riding out an urge - going through it and coming out the other end sober - is wayyyy better than anything pour-able-into-a-glass, hey? Thanks so much for sharing your post! I love learning how un-unique I am! 
it’s all new to me TBH bc for years she has shown me no support but since I’ve had a sponsor things have been different, maybe I’m different, maybe she knows I’m serious this time, I don’t know but I’m not complaining. I said to her today that you realise this will be my life from now on. After my 12 steps my life will be to help other people, she didn’t even blink where as In the past she would have got angry for some reason, as much as I love her I don’t want her to be so dependant of my attention I want her to have her life and me to have mine. We lived and worked together for 18 years and now she has a new job so we actually spend time apart for the first time so I guess it takes a little time to adjust and get used to the fact we have our own minds. Anyway sorry I just got carried away there. Yes it’s a nice keyring
You know, the old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” is pretty apt. Spending time away from the one you love most can do wonders for a relationship because it gives each person room to miss the other one, to pine for them, to let the negatives fall away so that the good memories come to the surface. That is probably part of it, and you’re probably right that she feels that you’re serious this time. I think the keychain is a little piece of proof that she very much supports the change you’re making. She is also growing and learning to be confident in being with just herself too. It sounds like you’re both on the right track and that’s awesome. When you both have lives away from each other, it gives you more things to talk about and bond over. It makes you interesting to the other again.
I love it. Great keychain. Great story! 
