@WCan This is something I’ve been trying to work on recently too…not rushing and focusing on being in the moment. Now that I have a clear mind I’ve often found myself living life waiting for the “next” thing instead of just enjoying the present.
I actually saved a photo someone posted on here a few days ago that was on this topic because I loved it so much. I can’t remember who posted it, I’m sorry! But it was this one…
So thanks to whoever posted that because it really helped me reinforce the idea of enjoying the present and not always waiting for the next big thing to come.
Today is day 132 for me and I’m looking forward to a nice, relaxing & sober Saturday. Have a great one guys.
Thanks for sharing these! I’ve been thinking about trying journaling to help with the process of sobriety but I have no experience with the idea or how/why to start.
Just watched that first one you posted and I’m thinking I might get a journal and at least give it a try. Can’t hurt I guess
Ok I relapsed. Big time. Started with one drink then twice a week. I am back to drinking almost every day now. Got to get back on track. On a flip side though, I discovered that I could write, and that others enjoyed my writing (mostly). But most importantly I discovered that I love writing. Started the book I had always said that I would write someday. The first two chapters are almost complete. Crazy life I guess
I just started with the three page rule… Every morning. No rules. Just brain dump. First thing in the morning when your mind is still clear. It works wonders.
This is wigging me out because not too long ago I had a similar dream, found a cat under my bed that was smallish almost kitten like but suddenly it was giving birth to kittens, and different cats and kittens and puppies and dogs kept showing up in this small room, then people I’ve known in the past and family, too, all ooh and ahh over these animals. If anyone has an analysis I want to know!
I like the second part of that analysis, embarking on new things and maybe a splash of anxiety makes sense. I’m glad you posted though, because it also felt bizarre and not something I’d dreamt before.
Thanks Emma. I am so glad to see you progressing along as well.
I am allowing myself to be proud of my progress this time. The only solace I can take from my repeated relapses, is that they allowed me to be beaten into submission. I finally decided I’d do whatever I had to do, to stay sober. And a big part of that for me was accepting some professional help in conjunction with my meetings and recovery work. I had resisted that for years.
I feel like I’ve finally stopped fighting.
Years ago when I first tried to get sober, I was fighting urges and cravings all the time. I was simply white knuckling.
Later on, I tried to combat alcohol with habits and behaviors. I’d meditate. I’d run. I’d eat right. I’d read self help books. I still do all of these things, but they aren’t weaponized in some fight against alcohol anymore.
Alcohol won. It kicked my ass every time. So I surrender and know when I’m beat. I’ll leave it alone completely now. I’m not fighting it anymore. I’m just walking away.
Now these things that I do… the meetings, therapy, meditation, medication, exercise, reading, along with applying these lessons into my everyday life, are done from a desire for personal development. Not to combat alcohol. I’ve accepted that I don’t drink. So between that acceptance and living in a way that pursues spiritual and emotional growth, I’ve had not one urge, craving, or desire to drink. I don’t think about alcohol at all. I think about my recovery and personal growth all the time.
Day 47: I was sing song softly yelling in my sleep (according to my husband) and while I woke up with some vague memory of something funny I have no idea what I dreamt. I like that my dreams seem to be less distressing as of late. Last night while my husband and I watched movies, he had a few drinks and I found myself feeling that FOMO again. I’m getting accustomed to recognizing the feeling and addressing it, reframing it, and feeling better or at least different afterward. So I’ll count that as progress. I ate way too much candy, though. Need to investigate healthy munchies that don’t require prep or I can prep ahead. Today will be busy with chores, so I’ll have to check in later. Big love!
***Edited to say “recognizing the feeling” instead of just accustomed to the feeling, because FOMO has been a part of me for a LOOOONG time, I am no stranger to it, but I can take an observational perspective and do something with it now rather than just give in.
Day #57! Expecting to experience a 30-degree temperature drop in the next 24 hours. Great day for writing and avoiding the COVID crowds. Had I not quit in August, I would be a mess of neuroses right now, Googling, texting my son to MAKE SURE HE IS ALIVE!!! As I told him last night, I don’t know if I’ve quit obsessing over this irrational fear because I’ve stopped drinking or he’s stopped drinking. We decided both. People keep asking me when I’m going to “go back.” I shrug because I don’t want to get into it but, so far, I see no advantage whatsoever to plunging myself into that spiral of nerves caused by drinking, calmed by drinking, rinse and repeat. I’ve broken the cycle and feel so free!
I can’t believe I’m actually one of those people who get to check in with decently stacked numbers. When I first downloaded this app, it was only for the counter. I didn’t have an account to the forum for about 1 year and I would just lurk the forum. Then eventually, the day I knew I was ready to quit I created an account before I started posting. I would see people check in with 100+ days and 200+ days while I would struggle to make 14 days. Sometimes I wouldn’t reset my counter after a relapse and would get a notification from the counter like " Double Digits Goal Reached! "…while drunk and would think to myself “Wow, I could have been at 10 days if I didn’t give in to cravings!”. I wanted it, I just wasn’t “fed up of my own shit” enough to choose my health and self, yet. I’m glad something finally clicked because now I am “those people” who check in with 455 days!
I think journaling is a great idea. It was pointed out to me recently, to not just journal when I need to work through something, but to consistently journal when things are going well to. I’d always drop off with the practice when I started feeling better. Documenting both good and bad is important and journaling about positive things has helped me a bunch over the last couple months.
munchies that don’t require prep or I can prep ahead. Today will be busy with chores, so I’ll have to check in later. Big love!
