But if drinking is a symptom, how could I prioritize it and solve it without solving my other issues which cause it? Or how could I solve my other issues while drinking and dismantling my coping mechanisms? I don’t know, where to begin, it’s all confused. I’m confused.
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What is sure is that putting alcohol into those questioning won’t do any good to it. I’ve been battling those question for a decade, is it the egg or the chicken that came first? I don’t know, but I know that drinking isn’t helping me to solve anything except an instant illusion of blackness and pause in my head that will just lead me to worst tomorrow or later.
Better be confused sober than being confused drunk or hangover, which are must more dangerous in my opinion…
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@Tomek You already began. You’re sober. I don’t see the bad in concentrating on remaining sober at
first. I tried out AA and NA early on. They were helpful to me until they were not. I was sure concentrating on staying sober. My social life was the bar before I quit. I substituted that with AA and NA for a while. Many many people here have found twelve step programs to be life savers and are in them for the rest of their lives. Which is great. I myself I feel that I am now ready to try to repair some of the damage that was done to me very early on in life. Way before I ever had a drink or did drugs.Took me nearly 18 months of sobriety. It will come friend.
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I’m sorry to read this. I hope your husband is already better 
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Praying for you and your mom. This is really sad. 
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I’m not sober, I’ve fucked up…
@Mno With booze I blurred so many problems of mine and sobering up I saw everything in so strong lightning, that it was too scary, it was too much. I have to do something because I don’t know how to live my everyday life with those problems. I cannot focus just on sobering, I have to deal with my issues as well, they cannot be unsolved because they poison every minute of my day.
Have you tried AA? It’s a great help to many. The twelve steps, when done in the right way, for you personally that is, can address much more than just your drinking. And if AA isn’t for you, there are many other peer to peer support groups. Buddhist, SMART (more scientifically based), and more. Maybe you need some professional help too. I’m sorry you drank but it is not the end of the world. At the same time I am absolutely convinced 100% that being sober is a prerequisite to tackling any other personal problems we might have.
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I have tried AA, but I live abroad and I don’t speak the language that well to express myself on that level which would help. I will search 12 steps and the others tomorrow. I’m seeing a therapist, I just started to open up for her, it will help I guess.
You’re totally right, being sober is the only way to cope with problems in a right and durable way. It was just too much for me. right now.
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Goodnight all
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I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you
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Day 81 … Even though stresfull week I didnt think to drink anymore . 
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Those are outstanding numbers Joy !! Love the theme color to 
keep rocking it out there i hope to one day have those numbers to
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Oh @Piglet, that is just devastating. I wish I could say something to help. Please don’t hestitate to share on here.
@Tomek I maybe mentioned it before, but I live abroad too, there are online meetings, and I even have a sponsor. Have u found support from other people going through a transition?
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We know mate, we just know. It’s a beautiful gift when you receive it. Don’t ever take it for granted bc it’s only on loan until your next drink.
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Thanks Paul.
Back atcha buddy.
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Day 40. Another crazy day at work. But I made it through, kept my temper, and got to go for a nice long walk with Max when I got home.
There’s a lot going on here today, and I’m just catching up. @RosaCanDo, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts today. I found so much to relate to in what you wrote.
@Tomek I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time right now. I wish there was something I could do or say that would make things immediately better for you. Unfortunately, I don’t know those magic words. But I will share something I’ve learned throughout my life: there’s rarely “one right way” to accomplish anything. There’s billions of us on this planet, and we are all different and we all have different ways of accomplishing things. So perhaps it’s not worth it to worry about “the way” to do sobriety. For 53 days, you have chosen not to drink. Maybe tomorrow you will accomplish that by focusing on how much you’re not going to drink. Maybe it will be a busy day and you’ll have a million things going on, and there just won’t be time. But you can do this, because you are doing this, and you have been doing this. Eventually, your approach with change. Your feelings will change. Your life will change because you’ve chosen to do this one thing differently. And I think that’s pretty cool. Also, while you may feel very lonely, please know that there are plenty of people here who really care about you. Since I logged on here 36 days ago, you have been someone I’ve really looked forward to interacting with daily. We’ve never met in person, but I’d like to think we’re getting to know one another here, among a huge community of people all fighting the same battle.
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Checking in Nov 5 2020
Hope everyone is having a good night !
Sometimes i like to reflect on my 3 surgeries that saved my life i was choppered out for emergency surgery to remind me GOD has me here for a reason and i will never return to that lifestyle .
1 year sober lets get it we are fighters !!!
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I haven’t been checking in here, but still working my recovery hard. Day 69 today. Y’all that was unimaginable to me on day 1. It truly does work if you work it! I’m beyond grateful. I wouldn’t be here without God first, you guys giving me strength and hope in the beginning, and now my NA family, my sponsor and the 12 steps! I’m BEYOND grateful! I hope you are all doing well. It might not feel like it, but you are ALL so worthy, beautiful/handsome, and loved! So don’t let anyone else, or even yourselves tell you that you’re not. Strength does not come by accomplishing easy things, but by persevering through oppressions even when the odds seem against you. Keep going! You CAN do it! I beleive in YOU!!
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Checking in at the end of day 293.91
Been having using dreams the last three or four nights. Those can go away again anytime now. I’m told it’s normal which make sense to me but I don’t have to like it. Went to have a session with my addiction counsellor today which got postponed. Stayed and had supper at the treatment house. Got to hang with the guys there which was nice. Got new to me living room couches today. Talked with my Mom. Prayed and did some daily readings. Went to AA tonight and it was a really nice meeting after an up and down day. Still clean and sober.
Have a blessed night TS. 
& 
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But it is affective… You are at 53 days… Your doing something right!! 
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