463 Days. I’m barely holding on to sobriety. I have never been tested like I have tonight. If I don’t get professional help for my daughter soon, I will explode. My patience is wearing very thin. Unfortunately due to covid, getting the help is nearly impossible but I’m not giving up hope. I have a lot of presents that need wrapping and I don’t know if I have it in me to get this done by morning. The serenity prayer is on a continuous loop in my head. Now my power is out due to a storm. UGH!
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Sending hugs, Lisa. Breathe. You are a strong woman and you will get through this.
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Oh no, Lisa. You poor thing! Hugs, sweetie…
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Hang in there girl, you’ve got this. I’m here if you need to vent or chat. Wish I could help with wrapping
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You could always just use aluminum foil for them, lol
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Atta girl 
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Just so you all know. You’re the best and don’t let anyone tell you different. We come to this place from all over. Battered and abused by ourselves and others. On good days and great days and terrible days. Yet here we all are sharing and caring. Thank each and everyone of you for being here. You give me and eachother so much hope and love and respect. Lets keep it going and change all we can for the better one day at at time. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. God bless you all. 
&
p.s. day 342. As far my check in had a great day. Busy day of prayers, readings talking with family and friends. Spent alot of time at the treatment center(10 hours) cooking for today and tomorrow’s feast. Hosted a tear filled A.A. meeting very moving stuff. Obviously being in a treatment center for Christmas is not where some of these people want to be. I chose to be there today and am glad I did. I told them as much I could have easily sat at home or on here but I would’ve missed my chance to cry and share and give a little hope like others have for me in the rooms over this past year and change.
Got another message from the exfiance when I was on my way home. It was a very nice message yet I still kind of wish I ignored it. It’s hard to maintain a friendship with someone that I was almost married too. Now I need her to admit she is trying to string me along, or maybe i need to admit that’s what I feel she is doing 
thoughts anyone?. Gotta grow up and do it sometime… fuck…Lol
One more time just in case you all forgot. You’re Awesome and your worth it. God bless you all. &
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So sorry you’re having a hard time tonight Lisa. Remember to breathe in between your serenity prayer. Your sobriety is so much stronger now you will win this battle too. I just know it. I’ll be praying for you and your lovely daughter.
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Hang in there bro . Tomorrow is coming I’m with ya!
I never thought I’d make it a year. Never in my wildest dreams. WooHoo 
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@Lisa07 Hugs! That all sounds very tough.
@CapriciousCapricorn But u DID crawl into bed sober! Go you!
@Truckinmonster21 Condolences. Say goodbye in a way that suits you.
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Sending you strength and love right now Lisa. I hope you get the help for your daughter ASAP. This too shall pass. Hang in there. 
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Day 178.
Winding down christmas eve…
It’s been a tough stretch lately, and even this week I’ve been home now, I’ve still been catching up on tears here and there – the Mom stuff, and grieving the grief I couldn’t when I was trying to drink it away.
Today? I kept at my little home organization project - opened this box of stuff from Mom and Dad’s I brought back – lots of fun photos from the past, even of my grandparents. Also Dad’s childhood notebooks and artwork (he was pretty artistic) and some of his drawings that are frameable! The best gift ever ever ever. I also checked in here throughout the day, had some phone chats with pals and my Mom, a zoom with friends too. And It just turned out to be this day of cool connection to people and my past, and people here and now and all over the world too, all while I hung out alone in my cozy abode.
Another amazing gift is this place. I just got this feeling tonight, with my candles lit and some mellow tunes on, that it’s all going to be okay – you know? We’re doing it, every day. Some of us getting sober, some of us staying sober, all of us showing up.
I’m so proud of us.
Not too much wrong in my world tonight. G’night, dear sober pals. 
I wish all of you who celebrate – the merriest Christmas of them all, and all of you who don’t – a day of ease and deep contentment. 
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Big hugs going out…
@siand - tomorrow is a new day, but it’s hard to get out of our heads sometimes, I know…
@cwak i hope the clouds clear for you soon, friend.
@Truckinmonster21 I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle, hang in there.
@Lisa07 oh boy - i hope you find some support soon. it’s so hard right now with everything else going on in the world. Big hugs - you’ll get through this. It’s your thing.
And big congrats too!
@WCan on 101 days!
and @vaariesga to half a year!
and @CapriciousCapricorn - merry Angstmas! 
Seriously - you continue to amaze and inspire. Crawling out of bed is going to feel amazing tomorrow morning. 
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Not up to speed on what help your daughter needs but I’m sorry to hear it’s tough for you both at the moment.
I am sure she will enjoy unwrapping whatever is wrapped and would be just as happy receiving the rest. Does she love Christmas? I bet she will love it even more having her mama present and sober 
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Day 148.
I hope you all have a peaceful, healthy and sober Christmas and New year. Thanks to everyone for their support and encouragement.
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Good morning TS. First sober Christmas day for me…well I guess in 31 years. Proud. I don’t mind that today is “only” my day 4 in 5th attempt. Everything looks so different…no hangover, no bad memories, no searching thrue mobile to see who I maybe hurt with texts last evening…
From my heart, to yours hearts…Marry, bright, calm Christmas!
It’s 9:37 am here and I am 4 days alcohol free.
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Still on 463 days. I made it thru sober and I’m really fucking proud of myself. I got my daughter calmed down and into bed about 1:30. Then I got all the presents wrapped by candlelight. I only had the dog’s presents left to wrap and the power came back on. Those will be the only ones that look great. The others not as nicely done as I would like but it’s the best I could do in the dark. Hoping to get a few hours sleep before chaos starts again. At least I won’t have a hangover. Merry Christmas to you all!!
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