Day 33. It feels like time has slowed and I’m not getting there quickly enough. Impatient as a rule, I cant just live in the moment.
Sleep is still a huge issue. And crazy dreams. I’ve only had one relapse dream in the last month though.
I have been on holidays for the last 3 weeks so I dont know how I’ll cope next week when I go back to work. I would usually push through the day with the thought that yessss I can drink when I get home. Really hoping I can somehow muster the strength to get past that habit.
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Oh man I do hear this. Both my teenagers have a form of autism, but equally different…I don’t see them without an electronic now. Somethimes I have to check in to make sure they are actually on the school page!
Day 6, feeling good. I’ve got a good system going, I just need to be ready for the next wave. I go from feeling stable to weak so quickly sometimes, I want to stay consistent through the next wave and be able to say I didn’t give in.
Be well everybody 
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@Charlie_C congratulations on 2 months.
@Rockstar24777 Listen to your body and give it time to heal. Don’t rush back to work cuz a date was set. Just take care of yourself.
@Clarity Drop the "when"s and "if"s and replace them with I will. This will be your year.
211 days. Just not feeling it today and know I’m lacking sleep. No real emotions going on but just a bit of a haze. Will most likely help my stepdaughter with math and then go for a nap.
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Quick update. No help today, they’ve assigned us a social worker who’s going to contact us tomorrow. She’s brand new, not only brand new at our case, but brand new as in straight from school. I’m really really upset, and I bet I can make my own case doing the investigation she probably wants to start that’ll take weeks, better and quicker myself. I’ve made a ton of them in the good old days.
Worst case scenario and she will want to do a full on investigation with all kids. It worries me, because if that’s the case I’ll probably make myself really unhappy and go mad. It wouldn’t be very kind of me to make her quit working but that’ll probably happen if she plans something like that. Or if she’s making this a relly slow investigation. My husband’s boss called today saying he needs to be back Tuesday or he’ll loose his job.
I know it isn’t really the social workers fault, and that we all need to start somewhere but with this background this ain’t a case you pass to a total newbie, and besides that we need help asap. It’s already been over 10 days since we contacted them calling emergency and they didn’t even care to call back.
More totally drama tonight, tweenies teachers called again. They’re taking her school computer amd she’ll only be allowed to use it in class, with a teacher. More inappropriate behavior online again and she skipped the last classes today to use her computer chatting with people she isn’t supposed to chat with (like Internet predators) then we allowed her to watch a little bit of tv. She quickly searched for and starting dating programs like ex on the beach she isn’t supposed to or allowed to watch. And the she got furious having another of her famous outbreaks because she isn’t allowed “To do anything fun”
I really really hope that I’m wrong about the social service because I’m close to a complete meltdown by now.
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Thank you 
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Thank you
Kinda hard to believe 
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Checking in on day 60… Hope everyone is doing well… (Attitude of gratitude)
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Checking in on day 19. Have downloaded some audio quit lit books to listen to while I go on my morning walks, if it would stop raining!! Sending good vibes to everyone 
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Thanks! Yeah you are right… I thought that for a brief second as I was writing it out and you confirmed it for me. I WILL get past this mental block. I WILL make the first step. Hope you have a good nap!
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Oh Sophia; that’s just such a cyclone of a shit show. I give you a lot of credit with your patience and understanding, I’d be the raving bitch that she’d be hiding from in the closet, lol. Only kinda kidding, 
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woke up to turn on the tv to see the day of impeachment 
2021 is proving to definetly be an eventful one! This next week will be a week to remember. Not long to go till trump is gone…glad I’m sober/clean because if I was not , I would not be up to date with current events or anything important really. I would probably be doing something like shopping in Kmart for 6 hours or doing my make up for 12 hours 
definetly would of been doing something that I thought was very important at the time but in reality was very much NOT important in the slightest what I do know to be true right now in this moment is that being clean is the only choice in life I know to be non negotiable
2021 is proving to definetly be an eventful one! This next week will be a week to remember. Not long to go till trump is gone…glad I’m sober/clean because if I was not , I would not be up to date with current events or anything important really. I would probably be doing something like shopping in Kmart for 6 hours or doing my make up for 12 hours definetly would of been doing something that I thought was very important at the time but in reality was very much NOT important in the slightest what I do know to be true right now in this moment is that being clean is the only choice in life I know to be non negotiable
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Day 166. Morning walk and meditation done. Off to work soon. Have a great day everyone. 
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Goodnight all
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