448… i wasn’t able to make it home tonight because a bad car accident shut the highway down (no way to go around it). I’m pretty certain there was at least one fatality. I sat there for almost 2 hours before i turned around and got a hotel room. Life is fragile, make the best of it.
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Amazing day! One full year!
And another beauty sober day ahead of you tomorrow!
I hope you had lots of pizza, lots o’ pats on the back and high-fives, and that you’re face hurts from smiling all day. 
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Oh nooo, I hope you are getting well soon. I am always scared of these kind of dogs where the owner says, oh strange he never does this, normally 
Sunday, new day!
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I’m glad your basically ok. I’m sure you must be shook up. That is frightening. I know first hand. That guys a fucking asshole. You were way to kind. I hope Max is ok.
God bless. Your week sucked big time.
Go and stick all your gratitude in your “I’m still sober bucket!”
I’m furious for you too.
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Day 845.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a deep feeling of dread and sadness, almost panic as I thought, “I am going to die some day”. Whatever this life is, it is going to be over for me and the world will move on, and there is nothing I can do about it. Talk about a hopeless feeling. Then thought, whatever it is I want to do, I better go and get it done. Ugh. Midlife crisis?
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Day 201.
Midway through my Mt. Everest of paperwork. The final ascent tomorrow!
I learn so much about my sober self with these things. We all know what my reward would have been for tackling this, oh 7-8 months ago and well before that (and I’d have uncorked that bottle before crossing the finish line, likely! Sigh.) Now? My mind has become a master of serving me up a whole range of more “productive” ways of procrastinating. Chores! Exercise! Alphabetize the dry goods cupboard! For real. Bloody mind. But I did today’s portion of paperwork as planned, instead of avoiding it. And yes, I could still find the rice in my cupboard…!
I used to drink to avoid. Avoid anything yucky - be it paperwork or feelings. Take away the drink, and I still need to learn how not to avoid, how to park my fear of failure, fear of the feelings. One step at a time, one task at a time, one well-calculated risk at a time, one tear-provoking journal entry at a time. Wine never helped me with any of these. Hard still, but easier now that I’ve put down the glass.
So many victories on here today! A few stubbed toes too. We carry each other along each day. Let’s do another one tomorrow.
G’night, all. Big love.
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Checking in which I need to do more of on a regular basis for myself really… So much is going on… I need to keep y’all up dated too! My wife and I move to our new place tomorrow that’s the good news!! Not so good news I have so many Dr appointments over the next month my head is spinning I will update y’all tomorrow more! Good night everyone!
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Good luck with your move and your doctors appointments. I love your TS screen pic. And the 242 days.
Great job.
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People bringing up the past is frustrating. I’ve done everything in my power to change. I’ve even forgiven myself. It’s not like I murdered anyone. It’s a fucking DUI accident that involved no one else but me and a pole. If I could turn back time and change it, I would. Get over it already!!
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- This is me to the letter. And it’s this I need to work on in therapy. Along with 100 other defects of course. But this is the main point. It’s no epiphany for me and I guess we all struggle with it here. But it’s still good to see somebody else writing it down. Thanks Emm.
In other news I did sleep better. Following some turmoil on this site for the first time I muted some stuff and a person here. Nothing and nobody on this thread BTW. Gave me actually a good feeling. Peace in my head. I don’t have to confront everything. That’s a first to me. Come to think of it, it’s kinda funny how this is also avoidance, but this sort of avoidance isn’t bad. A ‘don’t try to change the things I can’t and accept that’ sort of avoidance.
OK, My coffee’s finished. Almost time for work. Have as good a Sunday as you can all. Sober and clean Love from Amsterdam where last night we probably had our only snow for the season.
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I see Menno checking in sober. All is well there.
M @M-be-free49 did her check in. So I guess I can let it got for the night now.
Good night great people.
Menno you got the Com.
And M we WILL do this tomorrow
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It’s an insecurity in them.
Yeah you fucked up, it is what it is you faced the consequences of your mistakes and moved on became a better person, became a sober person.
Haters gonna hate, and use your mistakes in hopes you drop to their level
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Yikes 
who’s not letting it go? You literally cannot go back and change it, but you turned you’re life around 180°. I swear some people just want us to cut a damn vein or something. You’re doing everything right. You’ve changed you future and you’ve been accountable. Who’s ass do I need to kick? 
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My husband keeps bringing it up. He’s convinced I was out having a liquid lunch at a bar with some random guy. I was all by myself and I drank in my car. There’s even pictures of the bottle of vodka found in my cup holder that were taken by the cops. He’s got serious insecurities and brings this up every few months. I told him if he continues to make these obsurd accusations, I’m leaving. Ugh!
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That is really annoying. I understand ur feelings. It really was ages ago.
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Day 14. Oh yeah, I forgot about the sleep things…
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Very existential!!
Could be a good motivation, or could just be the after effects of a weird dream?
Either way, getting the things done that you want to do, probably no bad thing. Do you know what you want to do?
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