3 hours off cigarettes. I succumbed and had a piece of nicotine gum. This stuff tastes awful. Going a little crazy. The problem with quitting nicotine is that it goes really well with caffeine. They are blood brothers. If I have coffee, I need a cig. So do I have to get rid of coffee too? 
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This is the longest Iāve been clean. I started smoking weed at 9, tried cocaine for a summer at 11, alchohol at 13 and by 15 all the above. Mushrooms in the mix at 18, pcp/sherm at 20, ecstacy at 22, smh lol molly benzos ketamine until 30 then smoking meth until 36ā¦Iām 37 nowā¦yeah lol on my second attempt at recovery. God kept me here for a reason and Iām doing my best to be clear and present to receive Gods blessings. Much love you guys
One life
One love
LIVE LOVE
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4 months.
I should be more excited, but life is tough at the moment. I just lost my job, my brother has severe cirrhosis and the love of my life is on the other side of the world and we canāt fly out to each other because of covid border restrictions.
Iām not sleeping, not eating and depressed. My parents said theyāre worried about me.
Trying to be positive but damn itās not easy.
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 225
Iām also seriously worried about my husband. Heās heart have been starting to race the last few nights. Last night it didnāt stop, and when he eventually got some sleep and woke up in the morning he felt different than usual. Was dizzy, had a problem with his eyesight (more than usual, considering the fact that heās almost blind without glasses anyway) had trouble to breathe, chest pain and a heavy feeling in his chest.
I forced him to call the national phone number you can call when youāve got questions about your health, they connected him to a nurse at 122 (Swedish version of 911) and in 15 minutes after that the ambulance was here. Taking some tests, and because weāre off grid theyāre also having a small heart rate monitor connected to the heart special hospitalsl here. The machine sends the heart rate scanning to the hospital and they look at it instantly.
They could see that he was having an ongoing heart attack, so they rushed him to the hospital.
They said it seems like a small heart attack, but that doesnāt make it less serious.
Iām really worried, due to Covid-19 restrictions I wasnāt allowed to go with him. And I wonāt be allowed to visit either, so if heās not on his death bed all I can so is staying at home, trying to keep in as usual and wait for information. Either from my husband directly or from the doctors.
Iām glad he got to the hospital for help l, but Iām beyond worried. I also decided to not tell tweenie yet, I canāt handle the storm that probably comes with that. So for now all I can do is just wait.
We were scheduled to go and help the old lady again tomorrow, ilI talked to her earlier and decided that if my husband canāt make it, Iām going anyway. I just need to be home to pick up the kids in time. I donāt really now how to handle everything, I know worrying wonāt help stop doing anything wonāt help either.
And drinking definitely wonāt help me. So Iām staying sober waiting,praying trying to remain calm and remember to breath.
A few weeks ago I was thinking about a divorce, now I canāt imagine a life without him.
The spring is gone weāve got a lot of snow. Just before my husband was picked up by the ambulance sun was shining. Now itās icy rain instead. Hopefully everything clears up before the end of the day.
Thank yāall for being here listening to me. Love you guys and wishing you a great day. 
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Good day everyone still here hope everyone went to church have a blessed day everyone.
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Hi my dear brothers and sisters 
Iām at day 78.
If thereās any way I can help You, for example to stay accountable or any other ways of helping, then please let me know.
I care for You and I wish You all the best
Feel free to write to me, my email is:
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@iSage Congratulations! You had quite the journey, but u are here, and u are sober.
@JoMarch Sounds trying, and makes being sober all the more amazing. Vaccines are being rolled out, uāll b on a plane soon.
@MrsOdh I am so sorry to hear that. He is in the best place, but hard to not be able to go. You both will be in my thoughts.
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Day 458.
Things are stable in my life right now. Some cravings a few times a week but I can manage.
Sending positive vibes to all of you!
Hope you have a great week. And if not, I hope you find the strength to deal with whatever is going on. You can do it! I know it gets hard. Same for me. Deal with life moment by moment. Minute by minute. Breathā¦ you got this!
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Thank you. He is in the best place possible, but yes itās hard to not being allowed by his side. I totally understand why the rules are there, to protect patients and staff. But itās definitely frustrating.
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Day 244
Bit AA-y but recently have found myself ruminating on imaginary or possible future resentments. It is such a waste of bloody time. I never realised quite how much I do it, and just how pointless it is. But I canāt help doing it. I suppose noticing it is the first step to reducing it. I am also nearly 5 weeks no binge eating. Which is the longest for a long time. I am trying to be happy that I am eating normally, and not disappointed that I am not losing much weight. Slow and non-triggering is key I think.
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Its an amazing feeling isnāt it? When you realise your living your life at the cleanest point ever. You did it. Your doing it. Its almost like a super powerā¦ Iām happy to hear your at this pointā¦ I am also a meth addict, roughly almost 10 years, last year I got to 11 months clean. Longest in a decade. Best feeeling ever. Nothing compares to getting that far in your sobriety. But because well meth, a few short relapses since then, Iām back on day 4 and this forum is a big part of how I stay cleanā¦ Glad to hear its helping you aswell 
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Cheeky kitty lol 
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There is a PM message option on here for everyone. Its easy to find.
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Yes, but some may prefer e-mail 
You never know.
Hey all, checking in on day 302. I hope everyone has a productive start to their week!
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You and your husband are in my prayers. I am so sorry this is happening. Stay strong 
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Oh Sophia, I hope heās home soon. One step at a time sweetie. 
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Iām glad your doing well with this. 5 weeks is a long time. A applaud you. I know I will soon hit a point of the battle of not to binge/order uber eats everyday. Its a daily battle. Its 10.30pm here now, ive eaten salad and vegetables today and had two cups of coffee but this inner food demon inside me is dying to eat more. Iām not hungry. Iām not really bored either. But the battle never stops. Iām making a cup of chamomile tea with honey now knowing that it wonāt satisfy what I want but hey who knows it might, so I do tea 
a daily battle isnt it 
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Congratulations 
