@Charlie_C congratulations on 200 days!
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Thanks man. Today I’m teaching the girls how to change a harley tire
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Are you noticing a trend with your relapses? They seem fairly consistent to me. If we learn from our relapses I can lessen the blow. However if we continually make the same mistake over and over again then we have learned nothing.
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It really helps to be around people who get it. Like here, but for grief. You can look up ‘grief support groups near me’ on Google and hopefully find some. There are online groups as well, but if you can locate an in person group, all the better in my opinion.
And please know that your response to your grief, the suicidal thoughts, it is normal. I know it is scary for others to hear about, but it is a common response to such intense pain and turmoil. I am sorry you are suffering, how could you not be. I am glad you keep reaching out and looking for ways to heal. It is a long process, a lifelong journey, but you can find peace. 
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That’s awesome!! What a great bonding idea.
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Tough it is. One way to fight the urges is talking about it. As you are Julia. You’re doing great even if you don’t feel it. Tobacco withdrawal is a very bad b*tch.
Maybe try to distract yourself some more? Here’s a good thread with lots of info on tobacco addiction and how to beat it: Grumpy A-holes (quitting cigarettes/ nicotine products)
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Thank you, Michelle! We’re close to being sober twins so we have to watch out for each other! 
You’re doing exceptionally well, btw. Big sis (me) is proud of you! 
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Mike, teaching the girls to change a Harley tire made me LOL. Love this. I can just picture that whole endeavor. Have a blast.
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No one here has the willpower in the early days. Our willpower has gotten us nowhere. My willpower led me to multiple rehabs. I know that in a straight up fight alcohol will beat me every time. In order to stay sober I just don’t get in the ring to fight. Eventually (over a year in my case) I became neutral to the presence of alcohol so that now it doesn’t matter if it is around. For me my sobriety was more important than missing a year of “fun”.
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Don’t worry about events down the line and just focus on what you need to do to stay away from it. Get a accountability buddy-tell your friends and family you are done drinking. Rally the troops around you…none of us did this alone
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Yeah it’s been a adventure, my bike fell off the jack. Got scratched up a little bit. Luckily the girls weren’t near it. But still a good day tire is off and getting ready to put the new one on
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C’mon Dan. Say it! FUCK FENTANYL!!
No fucken way. It’s stolen enough of your life.
Not today Dan. Just for today.
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Loving this number Charlie…keep making it climb…always rooting for you!
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Hey Julia.
I’ve posted this before. Thought I’d share it with ya.
Quitting both at the same time can be pretty tough. And ya they do go hand in hand. Anyway. Check this out if you like. I hope it can help.
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Way to go Charlie.
It’s great to see you constantly working it.
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Thank you Emilie!
Thank you Eric! Just chasing all of you guys!
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Sorry buddy. But I’m not letting you catch me. 
But I’ll be happy to continue blazing the trail.
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@anon27760155 congrats on 10 months 
@Joyce19 congrats on double digits
@M-be-free49 congrats on 11 months
@Hopeful777 belated happy birthday! 
@SoberWalker sorry about the creeps, I agree with Menno, report them, it’s so inappropriate and invasive.
@anon53116147 welcome back, you’ve got this, you sound determined 
@Charlie_C congrats on 200 days
@dalex77 I hope you’re okay? Sending strength
@Singtone congrats on 150 days
@JuliaLuna I have quit cigs a few times myself, currently still vaping so feel like I’m not the best to give advice, but chewy things helped me in the past when I’ve quit cold turkey, like really chewy sweets or chewing gum, and 2 other times I’ve used Champix, it literally takes away the cravings, not sure where you are or its it’s available, I’m in the UK, I think the drug name is Varenicline. Also, reminding yourself if you’ve done one day, you can do another, and so forth.
296 days no alcohol.
264 days no cocaine.
19 days no binge-eating.
I feel a little out of sync from doing exercise later in the day, usually I’d be checking in a few hours ago, having dinner, and be getting into bed for sleep around now, but this week, I’m only now checking in, at after 8pm UK time, haven’t had dinner yet but will once I’ve hit reply. I’m thinking maybe it will work as it’s still light outside so not so conducive for falling asleep early as it has been, it just feels really strange and I have a fear of late nights because they remind me so much of active addiction hell, I start panicking and my chest goes tight and my heart races.
I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I was swimming today, like who is this guy!? I can’t believe I’m actually exercising again, and not caring what anyone thinks of me 
I honestly feel that it’s because of the elimination of the self-loathing that bingeing caused, this ED therapy is changing my life! 
Session 4 tomorrow afternoon, looking forward to trying to seem proud of myself so hopefully she won’t feel like she’s having a ‘party for one’ again
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