All we can do is share our story if this falls on deaf ears they are not ready yet. It’s hard watching people suffer bc we know first hand where they are and where they could be but I don’t know about you but I was more than happy for years being an alcoholic addict until the day I wanted to stop and found out I couldn’t, that was the first time in 30 + years I even knew I had a problem.
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I think both important points have been mentioned. Leading by example and gentle reminders or mentioning of concern. I didn’t make me quit using and drinking but it did make me think about my use. I was nudged in the right direction so to speak. Of course in the end it was me who had to make the choice.
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Yeah, I feel like I should at least try and plant a seed. A friend wouldn’t just stand by. I need to think about how to do it tactfully.
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Day 11
Today started out perfect. I felt relaxed and the the nights with good sleep quality are paying off. I can handle the tantrums from my little boy much better, letting him being angry for awhile. He just removed himself and let the anger out and then came back. This is what I’ve learned him, and now I need to practice this myself.
Further, I’ve noticed I stand and walk more upright. Feels really really great. I think my drinking career resulted in making myself literally smaller. Out of shame, I was constantly thinking that everyone knows that I was drinking every single day. Standing straight makes me breath better and I have less back and shoulderaches already.
Wishing you well for today, with a few smiles on the way.
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@Beforemy30s Congratulations! A month is a big deal!
@Hailstrom That’s a tough one. Realistically, it is unlikely he will listen unless he is ready. But your own conscience will be uneasy unless you do something. Planting a seed but not being too forthright sounds good.
9m 4d
Got a new phone! The last few weeks the old one kept turning itself onto safe mode. There had been issues for a while (no navigation bar) but I had just put up with it. Now got a funky blue and purple one, with a fun new keyboard!
Went to the store to get them to change the sim card and put the telephone app in, and we walked there together. There was a park nearby and the kids paddled in a pond and caught (then released!) Tadpoles and had an icecream. Lovely day.
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yeah i often forget that is the reason, i will go to a meeting today thanks
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Yes go house hunting, is a really positive focus point. I really enjoyed finding my place.
And wow I didn’t realise it actually got that cold in AUS, I honestly just think of it as a generally warm country.
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Checking in! This morning I surprised myself in a dreams where a reunion of old friends was gathering and a server handed me a drink already made and said, “Here, this is for you, we had an extra.” I took it and walked back over to her and asked if there was alcohol in it b/c I don’t drink. She was disappointed and took it back. That was not the case in my last dream about alcohol where things went downhill quickly so I plan to make my dream self proud and walk that same walk today!! Here’s to another sober day!
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I struggled with this for years and it lead to burnout. Don’t know if you’re into podcasts, but the most recent one (I think) of Unlocking Us on Spotify was on burnout and it was really interesting, enlightening.
I really appreciate your shares here. You’re doing the work!
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Day 250: Finally slept so well last night after a lovely anniversary evening with my fella. It’s raining cats and dogs so it might just be a perfect day to buy plants! And pot them tomorrow. I woke up early and I’m enjoying this quiet rainy morning. Happy weekend, all! 
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Yesterday I had quite a few positive thoughts about alcohol even though I had a good day. I don’t know why. I had to remind myself several times that it’s not worth the cost. I found myself visualizing drinking wine and thinking about the taste and the pleasurable feeling, ugh. I know that’s a small part of the story. The rest is negative and I need to focus on that. I’ve made it past 30 days and I don’t want to undo that milestone. My biggest challenge is not buying wine in the store. So far I haven’t been tempted at all, so that’s good. It helps that the last time I drank I had a wicked hangover.
I need to make myself exercise regularly because that really helps me stay on track and feel more calm and balanced and keeps my mood up.
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I’m jealous of you going to the beach. Sounds lovely. Enjoy your weekend.
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Good job on being strong; at the beginning I wouldn’t go down the beer aisle in the store but it doesn’t bother me at all now…just a big waste of money and everything else.
Enjoy your day!
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How about just telling him you’d rather not talk to him when he’s drunk? Like focusing on your feelings about interacting with him when he’s like that? Then it’s not you telling him what he should do, but focusing on how his behavior affects you. Pointing out that it’s not fun to play when he’s hard to understand or not making sense or whatever is appropriate for the circumstance.
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Checking in on day 335. Huge thanks again to everyone who said congrats yesterday on my 11 month mark! I for sure wouldn’t be here without TS and all you guys.
Have a great day everybody.
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So so amazing to read all of you supporting each other and hearing about your successes. I’m checking in for day 3 because I know I’m past the point where I could buy alcohol today. The witching hour seems smaller now…before it was between 10am and 4pm. Now I’m so busy and good tired from running and being productive I just don’t have the time to think about it.
Top tip for reminding yourself why drinking alcohol is not as great as you once thought…get a new perspective and take a night shift as a taxi driver! I thought I would be all smug but I just feel guilty for my wasted life and sadness that a lot of the people I see and the states they are in. Not a pity like I’m above them…because I am them. Just they’re in different places to me and maybe will never even realise. Maybe they’re fine I don’t know…I still chosing to use it as a motivation coming from empathy and pride in my own future and potential compared to what I could be if I continue drinking.
Anyway, initially I felt like taking the night shift was a good way to make sure I didn’t drink. So far so good, but in a way I think it’s cheating…the real test will come when I have a day off and my wife is off doing her thing and I have an opportunity to lie, buy and drink…today while running I thought “hmm, remember when a few days ago you would be thinking about how to factor in drinking into my day. Remember how I’d try to manage work, the lie, the sneaking.” Imagining it honestly and openly to myself was really powerful.
But I honestly don’t think that will happen. I could have called in sick, lied to rearrange something, gone in with a hangover…
But I don’t want that for me or my family any more. I slept so solidly last night 9 hours recovering from my running and so productive in the day. Still looking forward to my first meeting Monday with SMART recovery.
Sorry for the long post. See you again tomorrow
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 258
Maybe, just maybe things are slowly turning. I don’t really dare to hope yet, but maybe there’s some light coming our way.
Yesterday the hospital said that they can see a little positive progress for Pa. It’s still very critical but it seems a little more stabil for now. That’s good.
In two weeks the old ladies house is supposed to be cleared so she can move out from our house and start to live in her own apartment.
She also promised us a bigger amount of money for all the help she has gotten from us. We tried to say no thanks but the old lady had a plan. She’s expecting us to use the money to get my husband a new drivers license. He lost the one hr had years ago for speeding. All the paper’s are sent to apply for permission to drive and if that’s approve he’ll hopefully have his license before fall starts. I’m really looking forward to that because it’ll make our life a lot easier.
So that’s also good.
Tweenie is supposed to get back from her Ma’s house tomorrow or Monday. And is still scheduled to move out from our house in less than a month. If they manage to hold the plan. That’s also good.
And we’ve saved enough money to have the hotel payed for yes day, that’s slowly approaching. If everything goes the right way with tweenie, Pa, the old lady and our finances we’ll actually be able to go. That’s also good.
And trough all this I haven’t really feel the urge to drink or do anything else. I definitely thought about it a few times, but I haven’t craved it like crazy. Instead I’ve used the forum here, and tried to see the positive sides of things. It helped a lot. Thank you everyone for being here 
So overall a nice day, and my hope for the future is somehow restored at least for now.
I hope you are doing well and have a nice weekend.
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Day 337 clean and sober today. Grateful for all of you here, love you guys!!! 
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We 100% need to start. Menno dream interpretation thread!!! You dream often and vividly. It would be fun 
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