Checking in daily to maintain focus #31 (Part 2)

Here I am on day 26 with a space heater running next to me because I am chilly on a July day. What the hell people. Trying to get back into the swing after the US holiday weekend chaos. Lots of deadlines approaching but I am about as motivated as mud. Psychiatrist upped my dosage and now I’m on enough antidepressant to make Eeyore dance a jig. Feeling a little woozy with the new dose. Hope everyone is having success wherever they are.

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@icndothis congrats on double digits :tada:
@AyBee awesome number sequence! :star_struck::tada:
@Its_me_Stella congrats on all the 5s :star_struck::tada: (PS thank you for the shout out in the gratitude thread :blue_heart: )
@Hailstrom congrats on the move :tada: I hope the new mattress helps :pray:t2:
@TeamMeyer welcome back :slightly_smiling_face:
@Alfa07 congrats on your week :tada:
@Charlie_C cool numbers :star_struck: congrats :tada:

331 days no alcohol.
299 days no cocaine.
25 days no binge-eating.

Starving my cats from 8pm last night til the vets this morning was a nightmare and I felt awful and didn’t sleep much, but then the best thing happened at the vets this morning. Prince had a consultation booked before he was due to be admitted, and when she bought him back out to me the vet said his mouth is mostly fine with one small patch of soreness that isn’t even near his remaining teeth, so he didn’t need to have them removed at all! :raised_hands:t2: She said I could give him pain medication for the small patch, but since he seems completely happy in himself and isn’t having an issues eating, drinking, or grooming, I’m not going to do that, because I wouldn’t want it to give him liver/kidney damage. Wolfie has been castrated today bless him, but he’s at home recovering now. I’m to keep an eye on his wounds and make sure he doesn’t lick them too much, else he will need a cone.

After returning home from the vets with Prince, I watched another movie, thanks @apes2020 I enjoyed Arrival, it was so interesting.

Went to the gym and swimming before collecting Wolfie.

Caught up on some more meditations before coming here.

Rest day from exercise tomorrow for ED therapy. Looking forward to telling the therapist that I’ve made more progress this week since watching the YouTube video that has helped massively with my nightmares, I’ve had some slip through, but most nights this week I’ve been able to alter the endings or wake myself up before the bad stuff happens, and I haven’t eaten anything during the night, apart from the night when some nightmares did get me.

Now it’s time to cook myself dinner :blush:

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Day 10. Feel good. Nice to be sitting relaxed watching Euros without the want of a drink to go with it. Busy day at work but no problems. :grinning:

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image

AWESOME!!!

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Yay!! So good right :tada:

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Day 64
Watching the millennium party concert of Prince. Brings back so many memories. For me he’s still one of the greatest artists of all time. Saw him live when I was 13 with my (late) sister.
This day was very disruptive, last day of school for my son before summer vacation starts. But I had to pick him up early cuz someone in his class has COVID. Tomorrow morning I’ll test him.

Hope you are doing well over there. Much love!

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His song erotic city is one of my favorite songs from wayyyyy back!! :heart::tada: love prince!

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Another time dimension. So so cool!

Day 73.
6.44am
3 degrees.

@Charlie_C love the numbers :yum::joy::tada:
@Alfa07 fil one week ! Nice one.
@Rockstar24777 rob nothing you say is lame :heart:
@Hailstrom congrats on the move! Exciting!
@Hopeful777 forgot to say congrats on the new job! :tada::pray::heart:
@Mno hugs for luna :heart:
@SoberWalker owwww!! Is that a hedgehog!?! :heart::heart::heart:
@Its_me_Stella number game :ok_hand::pray::tada:

I got third call back from one of the last interviews. Yay :tada: there is going to be another round of interviews in early august… Long process :thinking: thats OK, gives me More time to prepare even more :pray:

I have work today. But first I will open the almond cafe for its breakfast rush :joy: I am now there slave :joy: yesterday 9 turned up :joy:

Feeling good all round. Its a good day :heart:

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Thanks man. I went for a ride and enjoyed myself

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1268 I think. Doesn’t matter, sober today and that’s all I need.

Woke up, went to work, filling my water jug before I clocked in and boom, my pants blew up. I had a spare 18650 battery in my pocket, must’ve come in contact with some loose change and it let loose. Blew a hole in my shorts, set me on fire, scared the fuck outta my coworkers lol. Burned me pretty good but it’ll be alright.

Happy it wasn’t worse.

Keep calm and trudge on sober folks.

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Fuuuuck shit bollocks!! Hope you’re ok, dude!

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Nothing a little spit and dirt won’t heal

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Ehehe gimme me a rimshot Smitty

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The offer we put in on the dream house wasn’t enough. Totally gutted but not entirely unexpected, the property market is a bit mad at the moment. It sent me into a bit of a spin, all the questions about what I should be doing etc that I thought I had come to terms with. Breathe!

Part of the reason moving seems appealing is having a fresh start and not having to deal with all the stuff. Even though logically I know there will always be something to deal with.

One of the first things I did was start looking for good jobs, even though I have an interview for the 12 hour a week gig I applied for and I am worried about whether I can manage that :see_no_evil: It’s an interesting reaction, a way of dealing with rejection I guess, deflecting my feelings of not being enough by taking on something new. I’m so glad I’m aware of that cycle now so I don’t get caught up in the cycle of overcommitment and overwhelm.

Some good news, my belly dance class for next term is pretty full so I will be earning a bit of pocket money doing something I really enjoy. And I’ve got a meeting with a local nonprofit booked to talk about the possibility of delivering some classes for people who need a wellbeing boost. Going camping this weekend with a fancy new tent and super comfy airbeds, an excellent early birthday gift from my bf (I usually don’t sleep well while camping so hopefully it will help!) and some barefoot hiking shoes being delivered tomorrow. Plus the interview next week. And of course the fact that it’s coming home :laughing::soccer:

Edit to add - Something I realised earlier is that a few years ago my immediate reaction to that kind of disappointment would be to ‘drown my sorrows’. And although I did a little bit of distracting myself with the unnecessary job search, really I just wanted to feel sad for a bit. And by letting it happen it was so much easier to let it go. Progress :pray::sparkling_heart:

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Holy shit. Wow, that could have gone way worse!!! Be sure to take good care of any burn, those babies can turn on a dime. Wowza.

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Sorry about the house. The market is nuts all over. If it is like my journey, your home will find you eventually. Enjoy your camping!!!:heart:

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Day 55!! I should be more grateful for many things today but honestly don’t feel that way today but still sober and still having faith. Have good nite all

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:pleading_face:
Omg, so scary!

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Yes, the right thing will come at the right time :hugs: What we are looking for is pretty niche so it will likely take a while. Just got to see how things unfold. Patience!

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