Thank you for the reply, that helps me feel better about it!
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27 days sober from alcohol today 
Feelin pretty good just have to put the reefer down I find it quite hard ,
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So happy youāre back, you have definitely been missed friend.
Congrats on your month of sobriety.
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Day 57. Wifeās cousin was in town and they wanted to meet. No problem there, but they decided to go to a brewery 
. That kinda was my jam once. The cycling beer-snob culture. Getting imperial pints of hoppy IPAs because we āenjoyed the tasteā (read: 7% ABV). I would decide what to order by alcohol content and nothing else. It was a great place to be for someone graduating from occasional drinks and progressing into problem drinking. My Alcohol Use Disorder forged in the boiling brewing vats and fermenting tanks.
Tonight there were families and normies, and maybe a few early stage problem drinkers eyeing the waiters, wondering when that next pint was coming. But there were also the guys alone at the bar. Dead-eyed and staring at the TV screens in the lounge area. Glasses half-full of beer and sadness. Loneliness and hopelessness. It was like looking into a mirror that sees through time.
My brain is wired funny, and that is OK. I donāt need to try to fix it at the end of a bar with silent car insurance commercials for company. Anyway, I had a water and a Beyond burger and tomorrow will be day 58. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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Day 6 no alcohol / Day 252 no cannabis
Almost a week since my relapseā¦the benefit of what happened last weekend is that my certainty that I donāt want to drink is so much stronger now. My check ins each day are a good reminder of that.
Today was a really tough day relationship wise. We had a terrible fight where I basically had a break down at the end. I could not cope anymore. There is a whole story here but I donāt think this is really the space to share all the details of my relationship issuesā¦ In any case, I ended up leaving to stay with my sister about an hour away. I have a place I can stay by myself tomorrow night, and I am grateful for both my family time tonight and a chance to be alone tomorrow night. I need the space. I need to be alone to just have a respite from feeling like someone is aware of everything I do and say and might use it against me somehow. Iām tired. I thought we were turning a corner, but today was really bad.
I also really really really really miss my dog. He is my best friend and brings me so much joy. I hate having to be apart from him, and I know heās waiting for me to come home.
So thatās where Iām at today. Such a contrast to the fun day I had yesterday. But either way, Iām experiencing it without alcohol or weed. I might not feel the lingering exhilaration from being in the ocean and the joy of sun and saltwater on me tonight, but I FEEL. I feel what is happening, and for that I am grateful.
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This is a beautiful post. I would come to your TED Talk.
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Iām not a dog owner, so I donāt understand the dynamics - but couldnāt you go and get the dog and take him with you? Surely you deserve a bit of company.
86 days done . Laundry tomo lol hate doing laundry canāt wait to boss up one day to be able to drop off at dry cleaners on a weekly basis lol niteee everyone
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Checking in hungoverfree on day 1008. Didnāt sleep well. I found a way to protect my insulin pump katheter from the cats but they decided to play hide and seek all night. Need to keep the door shut. I did it later and they startet whining. Oropax for this.
Guess education and cats in one sentence is a contradiction in terms.
Happy facing the Sunday sober. I had a bit of a strange thought yesterday, what would drinking be like? Holy cow. This morning I would have woken up with a headache, asking myself what happened last night, which day it was being relieved that it was Sunday and not Monday, going to the bathroom looking at a swollen face, having digestive problems, I wouldnāt be able to tolerate the fuss the girls are making once they are awake. And I would already hoping to make the Sunday sober, in parallel searching for an excuse to go to the station and get a too expensive bottle of wine, ashamed. A victim of myself and the bad World around me.
Glad I went to bed sober last night.
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- Coffee. Getting ready for work. Grateful I have a job to go to. Grateful to get up sober and clean. Have as good a Sunday as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from the community flower garden.
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Trigger warning ED
Day 587 substance free
Day 2 āhealthy foodā
Sugar sucksā¦ I have absolutely lost my way on sugar again. I have lost my way in regards to eating period. I have been restricting my calories quite severely for the last 9 months, and then lately the only calories I have been getting have been from sugar. My body is craving it to the point that I am digging through cupboards in the middle of the night in a panic looking for shit to shovel into my face, its brutal. I am 100% having flashbacks of active addiction and drinking all my calories. I hate itā¦
A couple days ago I added a new counter for healthy eating. I am not ready to address my calorie count right now but taking a look at what my calories consist of is what I am going to be focusing on. I remember how much better my pain was managed when I went all those months Sugar freeā¦ going to try to get there again.
Last few days I have been held up with extreme fatigue but I managed to get out for an hour today with my kiddo it was great. Watch another movie, cuddle some dogsā¦ going to bed clean. Was a great day.
Congrats to everyone for showing up today, being vulnerable, being brave. Itās a crazy ride and Iām super grateful to be doing it with all of you.
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ā¦1233ā¦just got back from a concert (Seether and Three doors down). First one soberā¦watching the drunks stumble around made for some great people watching.
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Good morning all , just checking in 
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Today so far? Waking up late from a big night with an aggressive neighbor needing the cops called on, a long overdue family skype and a subsequently very late sleep. Spent some time on here for clarity, watched two interesting short documentaries on recycling and fish-farming scandals, going to go for a good run to jog my brain, meditate at some point as I feel I need it more lately for whatever reason, learn some and try to tackle some of a huge todolist. Smile for being who and where you are when youāre on trackā¦ 
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Morning everyone-milestone for me! 6 months done. 6 months since I finished a half bottle of vodka in secrecy in the shed , pretending I wasnāt drunk at 10 am and my youngest daughter knowing I was and being totally disgusted with me. I then decided I was done with it , that I wanted my life back and when Iām feeling sorry for my that I canāt have a civilised glass of wine with friends etc I remember that day and thatās the reason why I canāt. Itās been a tough 6 months but a great one and my life is so much better than when I was drinking. I donāt post much but Iām on here every day reading the threads which massively help and still reading plenty of quit books , podcasts etc just to make sure I donāt get complacent ! Anyway have a great sober/clean day everyone, Happy Sunday
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Well done , iām happy for you 
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Congratulations @Julied with your awesome milestone of 
months! 
Day 1054 
First day of my holiday of 2,5 weeks. Today Iām going to paint the walls in my sonās new appartment. Then prepare for my vacation: a few days in a hotel with hubby and 2 of my kids (the youngest stays behind).
Started a 5htp supplement with hope to improve my mental state.
Need to be less hard for myself, but how do I do that? I have a lot of āI must do thisā in my life. And a lot of shame/guilt if I donāt. I wanna be in control of almost everything, but thatās impossible. Hope I can unwind a bit the next couple of days 
I wish you all a nice sober sunday!
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Thatās fantastic Julie.
Great big congratulations on your 6 months of freedom. Youāre so worth it and I just know you daughter is too. So happy for ya.
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Thanks ! I donāt know if youāve read it but in Quit like a Woman , Holly says ā guilt is preferable to the thing that might give you brownie points but ruin your mental health ā
I stick to that so if Iām trying to please too many people but itās not good for me mentally then I say no to something ? Like being selfish sometimes but in a good way of that makes sense x
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Thank you so much ! and yes she is - I have 3 daughters just one that lives with me but all of them would be so gutted if I went back to alcohol. They have bought me flowers and a beautiful candle for the 6 months too which was lovely of them x
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