Again??? 
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Because it kicked his ass and he probably canât stand losing⊠So if he nails it, itâll happen at least one more time - best out of 3 
@thirdmonkey
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The below YouTube is something that I think is definetly worth watching. I posted it here because I know yâall frequent this thread on the regular so I didnt want anyone to miss out 
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21 days today , and it seems to be getting harder.
Has anyone else felt this?
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I can say that I KNOW for a fact that drinking or not drinking DOES make a big difference. And indeed drinking will make you think fuck it all. That nothing really matters. Letâs drink because everything is fucked up anyway. These are all your inner addictâs nihilist cynical comments you hear that youâll keep hearing as long as you drink.
And yes, not drinking IN ITSELF doesnât change a thing, unless itâs removing the hangovers and feeling sick in the morning until you drink again. It does however gives you the possibility to work on yourself, work that you obviously are in dire need of. Just like all of us BTW. Recovery is work. But drinking is even more work even though it seems the opposite. Drinking will lead you to the abyss. Recovery CAN make your life endlessly better. If you are prepared to do the work. Are you? Itâs work. Itâs so worth it. Half measures ainât gonna make it work. You have to go all in. And you canât do it alone. Find support that works for you. Break this cycle friend.
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Keep going Rob. Good days and bad ones, we donât use because using doesnât solve a thing. Life is not linear and neither is recovery. To use another cliche: itâs a marathon, not a sprint. Itâs good youâre posting. We can do it together. Success and hang in there.
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Just seems like the more I try to stay sober and clean the more bullshit happens to tempt me to say fuk it.
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It gets harder then easier⊠And that consistently repeats every now and then.
It gets easier.
As the old saying goes " the better it gets, the better it gets " 
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Take the trying out of it. Just be quit and stay quit. Thatâs not semantics. Your addiction is losing its grip on you and is getting desperate so itâs screaming to you to come back into its clutches. Only logical its voice is louder now. Keep starving it and it will weaken. Thatâs a solid promise Bob.
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day 101 ⊠hope everyone has a good day . Btw everyone my first name is Austin not John lol middle name John⊠I gave a few people my fb info if anyone ever wants it dm me have no problem with that ⊠we are all support for one another . Keep pushing forward.
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Oh gosh every possible thing will come your way, well actually these things were already occurring in your life the difference now is you have awareness of these situations and feel more problematic as your not leaning on your poison⊠I remember the first couple of months I had to learn new coping ways, I had to educate myself all over I had to handle as I would call it a shit fest of a life because of the damage my addiction had taken me!
Being honest with yourself is better then that substance and it will take time for your brain to adjust, life is stressful letâs have a beer, life is for celebrating letâs have a drink!
Give yourself a break and donât kick yourself when your at the baby steps and i mean baby steps of recovery, whenever you find yourself in a situation where substance would be the answer try something different! Helll even trying to relax was a hard one for me my flat ended up been way over cleaned at first just for sheer distractionâŠ
We as addicts know how to avoid and in recovery you are confronted!
My motto as always is be kind to yourself, youâve done enough damage!
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Thank you
That all makes so much sence
Just all gets rather overwhelming at times.
Slowing the mind has been tough
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If your having thoughts of possible relapse, or having strong cravings, watch the below YouTube⊠Its very informative 
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Iâm officially official, went all the way to PA to pick it up yesterday, which was fun, I introduced my friends to Rutters. Which was entertaining. And I drove back cause it felt good to be able to drive and legally in almost a year.
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I am sorry u feel this way. But drinking will 100% make tiredness worse. Drunk sleep does not refresh at all. I have felt the âfuck itâ feeling, and it it is powerful, but tell it where to go, u can find the positive, u can make changes.
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Day 376
Little people pleasing me grew a spine today.
There is someone who is often quite rude to my kids, ie snapping, turning her back. Admittedly they can be a little full on, but they deserve polite guidance from a grown ass adult in my opinion. She snapped at my daughter today so I suddenly left. She emailled after apologising blaming cramps. But I am tired of interactions with her that leave me uncomfortable and unhappy. So I said thanks for the apology, but she has snapped many times previously. She replied that her and my childrenâs personalities âdonât meshâ. Well, my kids are the most important people to me, and they are often with me. And interactions with her arenât so satisfying even without my kids there, she talks a lot about herself, badmouths, etc. So I replied that our personalities donât mesh either, and that I would help her with Japanese situations in the future, but otherwise to take care.
This is amazing for me. I want to be liked by everyone, even people I donât like. So to actively distance myself from someone that makes me feel bad is huge.
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Day 436 clean and sober today. Getting ready to go to work, have an amazing day today, love you guys!!! 
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