Day 512 clean and sober today. Spoke at the AA meeting here at the center and I don’t remember a lot of what I said but there were a couple guys crying. I’m glad what I’ve been through can help others. Today’s my Thursday, have a great day everyone. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 
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Well into day 9 here in beautiful southern Wisconsin. The sun is out, the leaves are so colorful and I treated myself to new earbuds so I could listen to beautiful music on my dog walk to the lake.
Friday night passed with no big worries. I drank two cans of soda with my pizza, then switched to herbal tea. I do like to have something in my hands in the evenings to take the place of the wine glass. With cooler nights, the tea ritual is going well as a replacement.
I drank heavily for almost 30 years. I just became accustomed to the daily morning (or longer) headache and shakiness. I became used to the dehydration and really had no memory that mornings could be so nice. It’s about time now that I’m in my late fifties to explore this experience for myself.
I’m listening to the Naked Mind podcasts and will read the book soon. I appreciate the positive message and the empowering message. I’m in the process of deciding if my life is better without alcohol. No shit, of course it is. I just have to decide if that is the better life I want. I’m hopeful and humbled in reading the experiences of others.
Here is my best wish for all of you to have a beautiful day as well. Thank you for the kind community that is in this forum.
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- Took a couple days to gather myself. It’s been awhile since grief took ahold of me again. Proud to say I remained sober and could actually grieve without numbing myself. Thank you to everyone who checked-in with me it means so much to me
. My mom is taking the kids today so I can rest and hopefully get some stuff done around the house. I hope you all have a blessed weekend
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So glad u remained sober through that all! Hope u have a restful weekend
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I am doing my Saturday errands etc and my mind has been wandering but I have effectively kept myself safe through it.
I changed places, which got me moving on to more constructive ways to use my time. I spent some time here, which gives me something to read to keep my mind occupied. I also gave myself permission to roll with the punches, to feel frustrated but at the same time to feel like I’m ok, I’m doing the right thing. (I forgot my workout clothes which really frustrated me this afternoon. It’s ok though. I’ll get home and find them there.)
My emotions are intense recently. Lots of stuff bubbling to the surface, all of it more or less under the umbrella feeling of “back off everyone and let me just take care of my sh*t”. It’s a little sharp and I often find myself “filtering” what I say, to try not to hurt others. But there’s something happening recently, within the last two months, and I need to figure it out.
Thanks all for your checkins. I appreciate and admire you showing up - that’s the thing: showing up, taking it one step at a time. Thanks all 
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I absolutely love how self aware you are Matt! It’s frustrating not knowing what is the cause of intense emotions… drives me crazy too. I hope that it will come to the surface for you, so you can get past that Hope ur Saturday is wonderful!
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Nearing my 500th day! Honestly I don’t really think about drinking much these days and when I do it is pretty easy to get my mind off of it. Have a birthday cookout today!
Side note, I have found myself with new energy and wanting to do some of those things that have lwys been “on the list.” One of those things is getting a motorcycle. Definitely been thinking about that a lot lately and have spent a lot of time shopping around. Definitely excited to get that going once the spring comes here.
I hope everyone is enjoying a wonderful sober weekend!
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Happy Saturday!
Had an awesome time at the Monkees concert last night! Although staying out that late when I need to be up early to teach classes was a little hard haha. I’m about to get my Covid booster and flu shot so I think a nap is in my future.
Have a great day my friends.
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I am always happy when you open up a bit. Not only giving. 
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Checking in 40 days sober 
I love seeing all the big milestones today 
It makes me so proud to be a part of this family. I hope everyone is having a good weekend.
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Wow congratulations on 40 days!!!
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Feeling okay on my day off. Just found out the meteor shower is going on tonight. I know a place in town away from the street lights I could camp out see it.
Overnight camping isn’t actually legal there, but the park is open till 11pm, and the cops won’t come around that late unless an escaped killer is on the loose.
Or I may stay home and watch movies.
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@Girlinterrupted thank you 
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you
@Misokatsu thank you, it feels a little less cringe today thank goodness
@4lilcinny I LOVE your gnome! 
@Fury congrats on 500+ days 
that’s great about having a healthier relationship with your ex, sorry about all the family stuff, glad you got it out.
@SoberWalker thank you that’s really kind love the cute cat photo too 
@siand thank you the cringe has settled down, now I’m practicing acceptance in preparation for whatever outcome I receive 
@Mno woah that really is a rough night, I’m so sorry you were pricked in the process of getting him to sleep too, I hope you’ll be okay Aside from that, I hope you’ve had a nice birthday and time with your sister and nephew, happy birthday! 
@MsMotorista congrats on getting through a flight and wedding rehearsal sober So glad there is such technology that enabled you to help your husband, prayers he finds recovery too
@Hopeful777 thank you I’m really trying not to think about it anymore, so glad I made myself do it sooner rather than leaving it til Monday night, relieved it’s over. Enjoy your weekend 
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@zzz congrats on 2 weeks
@Callie99 congrats on 40 days
453 days no alcohol.
421 days no cocaine.
14 days no nicotine.
1 days no binge-eating.
I have had a very restful day. Lots of naps with my cats. Feeling very relaxed. The cringe waves are minimal now, I just have to switch off the thoughts that come in of the answers I gave. So relieved I didn’t leave the interview til the last minute else I’d have just been really anxious all weekend. I do really want the job, and I’ve envisioned how my life would look working there again, but I am practicing acceptance no matter the outcome.
Struggling with food cravings tonight, really don’t want to give in. Trying to be strong and think of the bigger picture.
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Checking in midday:
Feeling urge to use. I am mentally and physically exhausted… I need to rest but I can’t. Feeling stress due to work and feeling like I need an escape. I work until 4pm so just under 3 hours. Will try my best to relax on the transit trip home. I logged my urge into my app. Reminding myself of my WHY’S for quitting. I need self care so bad. Sucks that we don’t get breaks at my job since support for our clients is 24/7. Today I’m not single staffed but my client wants nothing to do with the other coworker, so it’s me doing all the work. I dont mind. Except it’s hard for me to just sit in the office and do something for myself. If she naps I will relax abit
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Checking in from my tablet so I believe today is 23. It’s been a crazy morning so far, I won’t lie today is day 2 without he pre workout and I’m cranky and tired, my girls are being very defiant and just trashing the house pushing buttons, I always give my oldest autumn a break off her meds when she is with me and sometimes I regret it, today I feel kind of helpless with my girls and clueless on how to be a good parent and not a yelling screaming father, but they also no how to make me feel like. Bad dad for trying to be a parent and not a friend, saying I don’t love them and all this other stuff, so idk anyways let’s prey for a better evening.much love
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Thank you 
Cheers to naps with cats and keeping fingers crossed on the job interview 
I just had one too, and the wait is brutal 
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Good job coming and sharing your discomfort here @Hopeful777. I know that sharing things takes some of the power out of them.
I’ve had similar discomforts today, going to a jobsite. I honestly don’t know why these feelings of inadequacy come up for me. I just had to go look at a structural wall a couple wanted to remove in their house and take measurements, talk about the scope, etc. And I felt out-of-my-skin uncomfortable. I’m half surprised I didn’t have an accident driving home!! No way I’m going to drink. But for a long, long time I did over stuff like this. So I’m still struggling to deal with feelings that come up. One thing I know is that this is just a feeling, and feelings will pass, thank goodness.
Oh, and today is day 1789.
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Checking in. I started my treatment almost a week ago and I’m at a lot better place mentally than I used to be. I’m much more balanced and calmed down, I have more self-esteem. I have been feeling a bit rough physically since yesterday, but it’s still so good to feel that it has effects. I had strong headache and have been having sore throat. I’m constantly thirsty and eat more than usual. During the day I have more energy than before, but I get really tired at the beginning of the evening and I sleep heavily. Yesterday I went to bed at 7 pm. So it started to work, and I can’t wait to go deeper into changes.
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Okay… sorry for posting so much today. Lots has been coming up since I got clean again. Nevermind the mental and physical exhaustion, I’m noticing resentments coming up as well. I’m getting tired of constantly “checking” my thinking, my reasons for doing things, for constantly being “on” and aware of what’s going on with me! Seriously… plz someone tell me this gets easier! And if it doesn’t, plz guide me on how to gain some balance with this! This make recovery feel very exhausting. I realize it’s not going to be easy but recovery should be enjoyable to an extent I feel lol maybe the happy, joyous and free comes down the road haha
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