Happy 17 months sober @Nordique, congratulations bro!!! 
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Day 521 clean and sober today. Itās my Saturday so Iām going to enjoy myself as much as possible lol. Have a great day everyone, love you guys!!!
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Yāall, I am not doing well. This grief is weighing me down. I canāt eat. It hurts to move. I canāt stop crying. My head is pounding, and I donāt know when itās all going to stop. Please say a prayer. Iām not ok.
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Iām sorry ur hurting 
is there anything I can do to help? Be a listening ear? I will pray hard for youā¦ for happiness and peace for you 
if you ever need to just vent or chat, your welcome to message me anytimeā¦ really. Iām at home during the week and check TS often.
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Thinking of you Carolyn. Positive vibes and thoughts your way. If thereās anything I can do plz tell me. Youāre not alone. Hugs and love.
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Are you writing in the journal? Crying is good. Throbbing headache not so much. Take acetaminophen or ibuprofen if youāre able to. Drink a little coffee Or tea if youāre able to. Caffeine. Just a little. Listen to some soothing music. Hug your husband and cry together. Grief is necessary. Eat something soothing. Whether itās pastry, a sandwich or some soup. Go for a walk. Take some photos and dedicate to him and include them in your journal youāre writing about him and your time with him.
Make a cake for yourself or someone else. Grief is hard. Iām not sure if heās still alive or has already died. Like being sober just take it a few minutes at a time. Cherish the friendship. I know you do. Cry. And know in time it will get easier for you. You are not alone. Share what and how youāre doing here.
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Great check in Dana!!!
I know that I also have struggled with balance especially at the begining of recovery. It was hard for me to figure out how much of one thing balanced my life. So for me it wasnāt equal portions of exercise, nature, meetings, literature etcā¦ I had to figure out what balanced out which portions of my defects that caused my addict to stir. I am an easily frustrated person so it was absolutely necessary that I be able to get out into nature to let all my tension go. That had to be a daily thing or I would have for sure gotten loaded. I am a very socially anxious person so making sure I didnāt self isolate and I got to meetings was another very important tool for me. The balance shifted though after I was able to tuck my first year away, now my emotions are not so volatile, I am not nearly as anxious, things changed, my needs changed.
I will quote something from one of my favorite booksā¦
"So many things compete for our attention and as addicts we have a tendency to think in extremes: all or nothing, right or wrong. Finding the balance is an ongoing negotiationā¦It gets easier when we let go of the idea that it ought to be hard. After many years of recovery, a member shared that he was finally able to answer the question āIsit possible that life is really this simple?ā Wth a simple āYes.ā
It will get easier for you, you will find your groove. I am so stoked for you about the level of self awareness you are presenting, it will save your ass.
Enjoy your day.
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Carolyn I am sorry you are sitting with so much pain. Grieving is very difficult, especially when you are newly sober and your emotions still feel so raw. I can offer you prayers and a gentle reminder that all these feelings of emptiness and heartbreak will pass. You one day will not feel so broken over this loss and you will be filled with all those beautiful memories you have stored. It was helpful for me to see other people who have gone through the loss of a parent or the loss of a child during recovery and remained sober. To know that it is possible to feel these very bad feelings and not have them completely ruin you, to actually survive them. Try to honor your sadness, allow yourself to feel, as uncomfortable as it is.
Sending you a massive hug and lots of love.
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Oh Carolyn Iām so sorry your feeling such grief. Just let the tears come and do their thing. Big hugs and lots of prayers for You and your family.
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Praying for you Carolyn. Sending you all the love and strength.
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@MsMotorista congrats on getting through your social events sober 
@Mno Iām so sorry youāre in pain, I hope it recovers quickly 
@TripnMN congrats on finishing treatment so glad youāre feeling so positive about the future nowā:blush: I hope you sonās situation improves.
@Annaka congrats on 3 weeks
@ShadowFax Iām so pleased things went well with the surgery 
congrats on 7 weeks AF and your smoke-free week too
@ShesGotMoxie sending love, strength, and prayers 
462 days no alcohol.
430 days no cocaine.
23 days no nicotine.
I did my grocery shopping this morning and I have eaten as per the meal plan. Despite this I have still had strong urges to binge, itās been really hard not to give in, but I havenāt.
I am still craving a vape too but have not given in to that either.
For the first time ever, I closed my eyes and asked what was going on inside making me want to numb/escape, the answers were dark and painful and I didnāt stay there long, just acknowledged what I found there and sat for a while.
I emailed the recruiters on Friday and I received a reply today saying they are still assessing interviews at the moment as the post has been very popular. I seem to have managed to let go of the anxiety over it now, which is a relief.
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Itās good to read that you are taking care of yourself. And showing interest on the ongoing process for the job is really good. Having an answer helps me to reduce the stress as well.
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Thanks man!!
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Day 32, woke up to another fucking buddy who over dosed. Fucking eh man, when is this little town gonna stop, this is literally like 10 ppl within a few short months. Idk I was excited waking up this morning I have tattoos coming, but man now I just feel like shit. Much love
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Fuck sorry to hear @anon53116147 it is frightening out there although I go for sobriety these days I believe in harm reduction where opiate addicts get a couple shots of hydromorphone or medical heroin a day- a safe supply of drugs.
Thank you for being such a help
Iām really sorry for the loss of your buddies Mike. Such a terrible senseless waste. Iām relieved you are here and you are sober and clean Mike. And working on your future. Please keep going. Much love to you brother.
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