Wow congrats! This is exciting!!
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It may have something to do with your friend recently dying, your grief, give yourself time. Embrace your sober self and just take it a day at a timeā¦ a time for thanks, first, and joy will come when you are ready for it. Alcohol does not make joy or holidays or fun; you will learn to disassociate it, and hopefully be happier without it. Always hard for āfirstsā in all the cases. Be proud of yourself sober and take it a day at a time. Hugs.
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Last year was my first sober Thanksgiving and Christmas. I drove the wife crazy decorating. And decorating. And decorating. A little at a time. And I watched tons of Christmas movies. It did kind of help there was major Covid and no family. And of course I spent a lot of time on here. Hunting gifs and memes for all.
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Checking in this evening
1.5 hours until Day 3
Still feeling tense. Body is just so tight and Iāve been getting headaches. Not sure if this is another side effect of my meds that Iāve been taking the past 2 days or what. Anyway, will keep at them. Managed to get most of my household chores done, made supper and showered. Tried meditating but my mind was going elsewhere. Not everyday is going to be rainbows 
just cuz I get clean doesnāt mean I wonāt have problems and off moods lol Iām really inspired by everyone on here. Sometimes I make recovery out to be SO difficult and challenging. Donāt get me wrongā¦ it is. But I feel like I make it out to be harder than it ls meant to be, ya know? Almost making it seem impossible. Ive relapsed so many times Iāve lost track. Over the 21 years or so that Iāve been trying to get clean, I really began to believe that I couldnāt do this. But tonight, I actually feel in my heart that I can get cleanā¦ and not just get clean but be happy. Wowā¦ I never thought that Iād hear myself say that. Hmmmā¦ its a nice thought that will become my reality 
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Iām sure the grief is playing a role. Itās still not real to me that heās gone. 
I think youāre right about the āfirstsā of everything being difficult. Itās change, and even though itās for the better, itās still change. I know that Iāll get there. I just may need to talk it through with yāall from time to time. Thanks a bunch, Alisa. 
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Normally I love decorating, but just the thought of it is making me feel yucky. Iām sure after I get it done Iāll be happy, because my family enjoys it all so much. This big house gets really cozy at Christmas time.
Iām also turning my gratefulness up a notch. I have so much to be thankful for, and I donāt want these feelings to take up too much time. Iāve got stuff to do. 
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So happy to hear from you Patty.
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Checking inā¦
695 days substance free
52 days sugar free
Our province is going under water, I am grateful that my family is safe. We are heading into at least 2 more weeks of rain, itās really bad. I just want to sleep until summer, pretend it isnāt happening.
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I felt this. I try to remind myself thatās itās a bad day not a bad life. Much love
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Stay safe!
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Agree, stay safe much love
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Day 470
Glad to talk to sponsor today, a person to offload some of my recent ruminations on ancient resentments on. Recently I find AA meetings and talks with her very soothing. Like usually I am wearing a mask of a regular person who doesnāt overthink, who isnāt an alcoholic, but in meetings I can take it off.
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This too shall pass even during our hardest most difficult timesā¦ thereās always another day for sunshine
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I felt good when I woke up, After reading this I feel even better, thanks for sharing. 
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Early morning checking day 58.5 sober.
Getting ready to go to work. Easy shift today and nothing to worry about. I am so happy I changed jobs last years. Not dealing with the stress anymore from the old job, its easier to stay soberā¦ Today I stay sober!
One day at a time!
Wishing you all a pleasant and amazing sober day!
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Checking in, hit day 4 if being sober 39 minutes ago.
It was strange today, not going down to the pub as the Tueaday tradition seen me doing with my friends for a long, long time.
Spent pretty much my whole day asleep (worked the overnight shift last night) then just chilled watching Netflix. Went for a walk to the store for some snacks despite the high winds and rain, it looks like I just got out if the shower lol.
Itās been a lonely day leaving me feeling almost a bit lost, yet, I am ok with it, almost at peace with it because I know tomorrow when I wake up, itās another new day and I wont be starting it hung over.
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332 days
Sobriety going well, cold etc getting better day by day. Work - I am getting more relaxed, spoke in a meeting yesterday!! A big win for me took some internal persuasion but was super happy with myself after, especially when host said āgood question Marieā. I have been reading articles about work Imposter syndrome and itās helping me to understand my anxiety and how it impacts on behaviour. After feeling I was stalling for a few months I feel progress has been made. And not a shred if anxiety thIs morning 
@Chosen2001 so good to see you back, keep resting
have a good day all 
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#Day 1162 
I have a lot on my plate lately but Itās good to notice I can handle it so far. If I feel itās overwhelming me I try to cut things out like Covid for example. If my head is full I do not read the news about it.
Yesterday Iāve walked with an intresting Dutch podcast on Spotify. The subject was about eating habits, but you could easily replace it with addiction. So this link is for our Dutch TS members: "De podcastpsycholoog 
Hoop dat de link werkt! En natuurlijk is niet alles te vervangen door verslaving zoals bv moderation, maar dat snappen jullie wel he! De 5 (!) triggersigns vond ik een duidelijke en toepasbaar. Nogmaals gewoon intressant om mee te pakken!
Have a good day all of you 
Picture of a little guy wich Iāve met yesterday during my walk. Enjoying the little things!! 
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Day 12 of being sober, just checking in.Have a lovely day everyone
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