Merry Christmas and/or happy holidays to all.
Checking in sober at the end of day 356 - but more importantly at the end of my first sober Christmas Day. Had to stand firm with my French in-laws today and this week. Very happy to have got through it.
Too many posts to catch up on. Hope I haven’t missed anything too significant - just lots of ODAATs.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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Day 96, Christmas day
Christmas was surprisingly not awful. The drunks we’re not ripping each others throats out and after someone tried some shit at the beginning of the night and I made a display of how I’m not putting up with anyone or their bullshit whatsoever, no one else tried anything. Weird to have less and less triggers as the days pass by, but I will not argue with a good thing.
Had a blast with my little one and my nephews. I love how my daughter and I can tune out the world and just have such a great time in our little zone. I am grateful for her, and in turn, I know she is grateful for my sobriety.
I miss the fuck out of my partner and her son and our family.
But I do not miss walking on eggshells over shit I know I didn’t do nor do i miss the relentless onslaught of blind accusations.
Another holiday alone, but this time sober.
Another fucking sober holiday, but this time alone.
Being the best me yet, with more to come.
A person could get used to this.
Next weekend will be another challenge, it being my partner’s birthday and all.
May the stars bless us all
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Doing another check in. I really did try to take in what my mom said. It wasn’t a argument we had or anything, I wasn’t mad but I guess I did have a little resentment build up. Probably bc some of what she said was true, I went up folded what I could for clothes, I wanted to cry the whole time, my brain feels dumb and lost doing the simplest things. I kept repeating I am grateful I have the ability to even fold my clothes. Then my girls came and we opened presents, it was really nice, they blew through them so quick, I can’t lie I get super over stimulated and rather then being in the moment, my mind is worrying about all the mess I need to pick up and how im going to do it, all while there daddy open this, daddy open that, I literally just want to stop and break down and fucking cry and it makes me feel so fricken dumb, like that’s not normal at all. I keep just saying I’m grateful and try to stay in the moment, man I have so much work to do and I know I’ve been slacking so hard. If you ever want a example of how not to do sobriety just take a look at me. Much love everyone hope you all had a amazing day. I am grateful for everything that happened today.
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Just finished up my 5th sober Christmas playing etch a sketch with the kids.
The Christmas before that I was doing speedballs in a church bathroom at midnight mass because I needed to sober up from being at the bar. I was with my girlfriends family,
So. Yeah. There’s that.
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Hey Des, I hear you and I can relate. I am just now letting go of the pain from my relationship with my daughters father. She will be 16 next month. I also drank myself into oblivion while he lived a happy live with his gf and kids. My daughter has two siblings from their relationship her 1/2 brother is 6 months younger than her.
He did hurt me, even broke my heart, but unfortunately it was me that caused my own suffering. By not completely accepting the situation for what it was I just prolonged and deepened my own pain. Now I am coming to terms with the fact that because I have never healed from that relationship it has ruined many things in my life including my marriage. I hope that you will be able to do some work around this, therapy is helping me.
Sending strength and love.
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Hugs to you @Rockstar24777. The holidays are hard, as you know first hand, especially the first time. But you are doing it sober and strong. A gift of love to Corey. 
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The holidays are a pressure cooker. You got through the day sober. That’s a HUGE victory! You are so hard on yourself. Take a deep breath. You did great today.
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Aww Des. I’m so glad your checking in and sharing your feelings here. I cannot imagine how you feel. It must be really hard. I’m happy to see you dealing with your feelings sober. These feelings can really suck at times. But this is how we get through them. We’re here for you. Please keep checking in and letting it out. We love you.
I’ll be praying for ya.
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Dang that was really nice of you to say thank you
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It’s been a while since I’ve checked in. Life and work have been hectic. Happy Holidays! I am proud to say that I am 11 months sober!! I also wanted to share that I have received a few bottles of alcohol as gifts for the holidays. I’m pretty proud of myself for being able to resist any temptation, and re-gift all of those items! It wasn’t an easy task as one of the gifts was my specific drink of choice. I just wanted to share a little positive news, as I know this time of year can truly be a struggle. Everyone stay strong! You can do this thing! No matter how hard things get, you are valued and valuable.
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Me too! Congratulations and keep up the positive work!!
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Golden advice here.
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Hey Mike! I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to the madness of the unwrapping and chaos when my kids were younger. It was stressful and I would get up and start picking up the wrapping paper and miss a bunch of stuff. I get way over stimulated from time to time as well. Just part of who we are. So don’t feel bad about it my friend. Wishing you a peaceful night.
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I don’t think u are such a bad example of sobriety. U are open and honest, those are important. Nobody is perfect.
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Checking in on day 25! Merry Christmas everyone I hope your day was everything you needed it to be 
!
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Congratulations and I LOVE that number!!! 
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Checking in on day 1148. I am grateful I am still in the game. I was in real bad places some days ago. Now I wonder if it was also part of the hormonal roller coaster I started the thread for some time ago.
It’s hard for me to keep a distance to these feelings and not hop in them directly. They seem so powerful, no they are powerful. And some days later I am think wtf took me there. And how on earth could you honestly listen and believe that voice inside of you that keeps coming back and is telling you that all your life is shit bc you are shit and drinking and dying would ease that pain. It would maybe but then I would have given up the chance to change.
So, I am happy that I am here, sipping a coffee, maybe 2, the apartment is still calm and I will do some yoga.
Good night America, good morning Europe/Africa. 
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It was actually a pretty good day. I wish I had learned about the balance offered by sobriety earlier in life. Not every day is a good day. But every sober day is worth it. Wishing you all a peaceful end to your year.
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I thank you for sharing this. I also was spiraling down, can relate to what you’ve said and I think hormones were a huge part of it, plus seasonal stuff, but feel it lifting some finally. Today was a real turning point for me, I think. Glad you’re feeling better, amiga.
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