Congratulations on your 2 weeks Kiki! Look at you go! That’s great. It might not be exciting. Yet. I am totally enjoying the calmness over the old chaos and hangovers.
Keep up the great work.
We got your back.
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Kady 
You’re doing awesome. That first month is a real bitch. Keep up the great work.
We got your back.
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Amazing! Congratulations!
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Day 491
Day alone of self-care and housework. I like it.
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Thank you so much!! Your words motivate and encourage me so much … everyone in this community is the reason I keep coming back and checking in I’m doing whatever it takes to maintain my sobriety and this community helps me more than I could ever express I’m so grateful to have you all here and to be able to relate and be in this together!
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1204 days alcohol free
Decided to cut down on my doxepin that does nothing for my depression. It just causes me to sweat nastiness and have gained too much weight.
So day 2 of 50mg doxepin (I was taking 100mg)
Also day 2 of 0.8mg clonazepamm…nearly there. I almost didn’t get any sleep yesterday. I squeezed in a nap for about two hours…wasn’t the most restful nap. The decreased klonopin kinda made my heart pound in my chest but I know I cannot die from regular stress/anxiety…it is just unheard of, at my age at least.
But hopefully I will be able to get some sleep tonight.
Been about five days in a row with “meh” sleep. Four out of five days I have been getting four hours or less.
I’ve been on less sleep before. I remember one anti depressant made me not sleep for two weeks straight, luckily I’m not at that point right now.
I wish there was an antidepressant that worked. To me, they’re all placebo. Tried them all. I don’t care if I have to live with depression, I just don’t want to be on useless meds that just give me unpleasant side effects. Doc wanted me to try ketamine, but that just sounds dumb. I guess it would help with my ptsd and basically, treatment resistant depression, but I am not interested in spending thousands of dollars for that kind of treatment. That would just make me more depressed over having spent thousands of dollars, lol. Also, my understanding is it’s an anesthetic, which doesn’t make any sense in terms of actually helping me get past my ptsd and trd
I’ve just accepted that I will have this for life
I hope everyone else is doing all right. I am just cranky as hell since I am so sleep deprived. Argh
Hope everyone is doing well.
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Welp, I’m back to day 1. 
Hell of a bender too. Seems everytime I relapse, I hit it harder than I did the last time. I realized today that it’s been nearly 3 weeks and I wasn’t aware of the time passing. So, withdrawls are kicking in. Shaking so much I can barely type, dry heaving, insomnia, etc.
Glad to be back here though.
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Something that helps with tremens is kava…I drink kava tea to help with my jittery/frayed nerves.
Also I would look into lavender essential oil and an essential oil diffuser to help bring about some kind of calm 
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Day 85 checking in have a good day everyone
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Sorry your having a hard time but also figuring it out at the same time. I definitely relate I’ve tried every single type of antidepressants there is, and always had the same effects as you, I use to fall asleep in the bathroom at work I could never keep my eyes open. I’m pretty much against meds now as I don’t like the effects like you, I wish there was something that helped for sure. Ive tried mood stabilizers, non stimulant meds for my adhd and the effects just suck. I refuse any sort of stimulant meds bc idk prescribed even if I’m prescribed it I still feel like I’m cheating my sobriety, bc it gives me some sort of happiness in my brain that I’m using a prescribed stimulant, plus I’m a addict at some point I’m going to abuse those prescribed stimulants, I couldn’t control my drinking or drug use successfully I know I wouldn’t with meds either. Sorry I’m rambling, no good advice just wanted to say I relate and hope you feel better
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Today is a very big, memorable day… Its the day I get to binge the NEW SEASON (!!!) Of sex and the city… Its back!!!
Ladies, need I say more 
So of course its a celebration that deserves the company of my two friends, ben & jerry 
So happy right now 
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- Coffee. One late shift to go till my weekend. Lunch yesterday with my fellow nursing school graduate was nice. She works with a big homeless people support organization that is a front runner in Recovery based working. Gave me the name and contact info of the head of the Recovery department, who’s a RN in recovery herself. I’m going to contact her and have a talk and see what comes of that. Could be good. Not directly by employing me but to give me some direction in where to go, employment wise, education wise.
Recovery stuff. I like. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from my place.
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Checking in towards the end of day 346. Caught this earlier. 
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
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Nice catch! Saved some pennies there too!
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Day 1621. 
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Checking in day 11. Had a good chat with my husband last night. I knew he had been worried about my drinking and he had expressed those worries but we never properly adressed those issues until last night. I think I was both in denial and ashamed to talk about it before. Feel so much more at peace since our chat and somehow stronger and more determined. Have a great day everyone 
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Good morning from day 3. Slept horribly again with nightmares. I did got to bed at 7pm, so up really early. Worried about anxiety. I’m worried I won’t be able to cope with it today and end up drinking after work. Lately I’ve been relapsing at day 3 or 4. Can’t seem to get past that. I get severe physical symptoms from the anxiety and nothing helps that’s not a substance I’m trying to quit. I get to the point I’m hysterically crying and need relief. Please send strength my way.
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Hi Karen. Sending hugs, strength and positive vibes your way. As someone who always struggled past day 2/3 I know what you are going through. Be strong and you can do this. Keeping busy, getting out for a walk, talking to someone and praying helps me. Be kind to yourself today and just promise yourself you will not drink just for today. Deal with tomorrow when it comes the same way. Hope this helps
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It’s great to see some 4 years and 5 years celebrations it reminds me I’m just a sober toddler learning to walk. Have a great (full) day everyone.
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Good morning and happy hump day! Hehehe
Checking in here on day 48, feeling good about my decisions and my learning about the AF life.
A week from today we leave for our vacation, my first sober vacation since I was a kid. I’m planning ahead and bringing things I enjoy doing, so I’m planning to be successful at this.
6 more days of teaching. Oh my goodness this is a challenging time for all of us in schools. I contacted some parents yesterday to ask for some help and they were all very supportive in their responses. All of these are refugee families and those parents are so glad to be here. They actually appreciate and respect teachers. Yay! So perhaps those children will be a little more attentive to the lesson.
Breathing calmly throughout the day helps me manage my limbic system so I don’t get too riled up. That helps my evening cravings too.
I wish you all a peaceful day with kindness in your life.
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