You are both valuable members here 
. I think it is great you stick around and give advice or just show it can be done. I know it gave me hope when I first joined. And that goes for other long-timers.
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Day 10 ; Canāt even believe I have made it this far, I donāt plan on ever going back.
I have been doing some daily walking to sweat it out , which let me tell you , I do sweat it out , And will be happy when the sweats stop LOL
Sleeping is still going the same, but at least Iām able to get 5 solid hours.
However, even though Iām tired I have more energy than I have had in years , and Iām happy , I have laughed so much in the past week more than alcohol and drugs could ever make me.
This journey is such an amazing experience and you people are such a blessing, all
Your advice and support has been incredible , I wouldnāt be able to do this without each one you 
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I understand that feeling. I donāt think the word āloserā precisely but I definitely wonder āam I spending too much time here? Is it inconsequential, does it not āmatterā in the way other things matter?ā
Even the internet lingo āIRLā (in real life) suggests thereās something not ārealā about what happens online.
Here is whatās real about Talking Sober and you, Menno:
- Dozens of people join every month (sometimes every week), all here because they need help, they need a community, they need a group that can understand and support them.
- There are people who read Talking Sober for years without creating an account - for example, Duckie - and it helps them stay sober. Who knows how many are reading right now and still havenāt made their account?
- You are a moderator (and even before that, and still, youāve always been an active member) and that means you play a key role in maintaining this space where people can find their footing, find their path, rediscover their sober, safe humanity. When we come here weāve been to dark places. Talking Sober, with the active community members and moderators here, is a space where people can recover their humanity.
All that, is real.
Sometimes I think the idea that whatās online isnāt ārealā comes from this idea that āyou never meet these people, itās just digital letters on a screen, it doesnāt matter - you arenāt really doing anythingā. To me I think thatās like telling an artist that their work doesnāt matter because theyāll never really see the people who see it. āYou donāt know them, you never see the people, youāre just putting some colour on a canvas and sending it out into some gallery for people to watch.ā And yet - look at the impact art has. Look at the meaning and reflection and growth it prompts.
Are you a loser? Itās not my place to tell you what word to use (or maybe what word a self-deprecating part of you whispers). But I can tell you this: your presence here matters, and it has a real impact. It doesnāt matter that some people leave after a time. People leave hospitals and clinics after a time too. That doesnāt mean the nursesā and doctorsā and counsellorsā work doesnāt matter. Your presence matters friend 
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Iām no loser Matt. I sometimes feel a bit like one is what I said 
. From the view point of schema therapy my punitive and (over) demanding parent modes are telling me this, talking in my head. Iām getting ever better at recognizing those negative voices and defeating them. One negative thought at a time. Expressing these thoughts here helps.
Another thing Iām learning is that my actions and words have an influence on others too. Like saying Iām a loser (which I didnāt quite say, but OK) because Iām still here reflects negatively on others who stay for a long time here too. Sorry for that.
I sometimes use the IRL acronym, but like you I feel it isnāt quite right. This is real life too. I made some of my current best friends online, and I met some of 'm IRL 
now too. This is real. And it is good and right and fitting for me. Itās right for where I am in my journey and in my life to be here. Thanks friend. Iām glad youāre here.
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Thank Menno. I apologize - I think I latched on to the word without thinking of the bigger picture / more nuanced meaning you were using. I didnāt mean to overemphasize it. I was mainly trying to focus on the positive impacts you have and using that word as a rhetorical contrast.
Thanks for replying. I appreciate you and your presence here too
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From my perspective: Iām very very thankful for TalkingSober.com. I needed help to deal with my issues and talk to people who were struggling. I check in everyday as a reminder to my brain: We are moving forward, one day at a time. Itās because of this site i found Eazypeazymethod.org. @KevinesKay introduced it to me back in november of last year. Changed my life forever.
Now for the past 20 years iāve always wanted to be 2 things: Free from my porn addiction and learn to cook.
Today iām 84 days free and i made dinner for my family last night. Wow, iām sitting at my desk at work right now, with tears streaming down my face. Now, anything is possible.
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This is gold, right here - for every, single life choice! I am struggling with this right now. To go be āemployedā or continue to work for myself. It really does relate to everything and it all goes back to fear, usually of the unknown/perceived. Thanks for the nice morning thought to ponder.
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So happy to hear this. Thank you for sharing! 
I donāt think Iāve seen that book, are you doing the NA version of the steps?
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One month and 8 days of not weighing myself (eating disorder trigger)
1 day not purging
0 days not getting drunk 
Iām going to check in here every day I think.
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I love this and I feel the same way. Weāll do it together with everyone else here 
Checking in on day 605 today, I hope everybody has a good one! I plan on using my sober powers for good today 
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@Mno and JenĆ© - gold for me, too. Iāve written/talked a lot about living with a fear-based mentality and while I believe Iāve made great strides shifting the thinking, Iām just now getting to action. It reminds me of the saying Iāve heard my dad say so many times over the years - you canāt win the lottery if you donāt buy a ticket. Well, nothing happens if I donāt make a move, any move. Thanks for this reminder. 
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Good for you setting firm boundaries. At the end of the day we have to protect our sobriety above all else. Congrats on 44 days.
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I missed you hitting the 600 hundo club, Iām sorry bro. Congrats 
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I didnāt realize I made it at first either lol thanks man
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Congrats on your 44 days. Itās absolutely impossible to quit for someone or something else other than yourself. ( I tried a million times). Thatās why itās such a selfish disease. But you probably already knew all that. Heāll just have to hit his own rock bottom. Hope it all works out for you. 
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Day 607 clean and sober today. Went on an 8 mile hike yesterday ouch!!! Lol I definitely felt it in my legs for sure and went to bed early last night. Todayās my Monday I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys!!! 
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Day 14. It was exciting to see a 2 week milestone this morning. I have a long stressful day at work, feeling grateful to be able to check in here
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Day 128 AF for me. I really feel as if I had a turning point while sick and struggling through some hard cravings. My memory of first whiskey while sick as a child triggered some hard deep feelings of being unloved that I never dealt with. I feel like I have a direction for what I need to be working on. Itās progress.
@LabLover222 You are such a brave and strong soul May you thrive on you sober journey
@Kacialyn 
10 days!!! You are ROCKINā it!!! 
@Wakikki 
Congrats on 40 days!!
@StarK31 70 days!!! Way to go Kiki!!
@Mich80 
90 days and goinā strong!!!
@Dansig 9 months is huge Dan!!! Congrats!!
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