I’ve been a member of this app since the day I decided to quit drinking two years one month and nineteen days ago. I decided one day I was done drinking and I downloaded this app and I haven’t had a drop to drink since.
I’ve never really been interactive or involved really but for some reason when I joined the app I was able to quit drinking? I had tried to quit many times over years and years but I couldn’t. For some reason this helped. I would lurk through threads and watch my clock counting more sober time and it just worked. I don’t know if I will ever know why but it just did.
Here I am over two years later without a relapse, without barely any thought on drink, and I can’t sleep. I have been sitting here for 4+ hours looking at the ceiling and I haven’t stopped thinking about alcohol. For the first time in two years. It’s agony.
So I’m here. I don’t know what voodoo magic happened all that time ago but I’m here for it. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for but I’m here for it.
I’m almost 9 months sober and here is what I offer: It wasn’t worth it then, it isn’t worth it now, and it NEVER will be. You got this, we don’t give in we attack this and conquer it!!! Let’s gooooo!!!
I appreciate this. Thank you. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, support, validation but I do know drinking will not be happening tonight. Even if I need to stay up all night watching my sober clock tick I refuse to give in.
@Duckie 2 years Is a HUGE achievement. I’m only day 36 I can’t even begin to imagine how wonderful it must feel to be as far as you are. Defo isn’t worth wasting it on one feeling that will pass. Granted it hasn’t passed yet but that’s because a little part of your mind perhaps validated the thought. I’d do something different, anything…eat something do a chore… just break the cycle. Or just chat here. Help others who need it.
Thank you Willow! Since becoming sober my life has improved slowly over the years. I am I’m the best place I have ever been and I’m incredibly happy with my choices. When I was just starting out I would go for walks a lot to just clear my head before it got worse and it turned into me renewing my passion for hiking from when I was younger. Sadly it’s almost 3am here and smack in the middle of Midwest winter so I’m stuck indoors and can’t use this tactic tonight.
I think using your beginning quit drinking tools and being here talking about it will help you a whole lot. You have said you were committed to not drinking. Keep talking keep posting and let that monster go back to where it came from. I’m sorry you’re being challenged. I’m glad that you are reaching out for support.
Thank you Alisa. I’m still here. I’m checking the clock and reading. There are so many amazing people here on so many different journeys and I appreciate that everyone here has this platform to share and build community. It’s really amazing.
A lot of people find strength and comfort by writing a gratitude list and the gratitude thread. It’s about 10 down right now. 10 down the list. Plus you can search for it. It might be something to think about it it might be helpful to you
There’s also a meditation thread with different ways to relax. Just search down the list and you will see it it might be called a meditation challenge for February.
On about 20 minutes is when I usually wake up to do my morning meditation followed by yoga and lazy person work out. I will come back to check it out tomorrow night if I’m still having the same problem. Thank you
Question on that topic… Would it be considered bad taste to go to a meeting with the intention of possibly making sober friends? Sad side effect of me being sober was losing a percentage of my drinking friends who just would not back down on me choosing to be sober and wouldn’t take it seriously. I decided some had to be cut out and I think subconsciously I’m feeling some kind of lack of friendship or loneliness now?
I’d say not at all. I’m not in AA. I’m here. A lot. Which works for me. One of the main things we need to make our sobriety work is a (new) social circle, a group of sober friends. I quit going to my local bar and quit seeing my drinking buddies when I quit drinking in June 2019. We need other, sober, people in our lives. AA seems to me an excellent opportunity to meet some new ones. The only requirement for going there is a willingness to quit drinking. That’s really all. Glad you’re here too Duckie. Thanks for posting.
Maybe try a meeting make friends and help others who are still suffering. when i first went to meetings in your situation id lift the phone phone my sponsor or friend i met at meetings and shared my thought it worked . i wasnt alone anymore wish you well
I know the feeling and my compliments that you came here to vent!
The good thing about cravings is that they go eventually. I do not know your timezone but find some distraction. Maybe go for a walk? I do not have my profilename for nothing, so that’s what I should do ps just read above that walking is difficult right now
Venting helps and so you do. It puts the pressure out of the craving.
Thank you. When I quit drinking I was at a point where I didn’t really have my own identity without it in my life and I really focused on building my new self as authentically as I could after all the drinking time. That included slowly weeding out the people who were not working for my new life style. I took it as far as moving out of state for a year and when I recently moved back I told a total of three people. I think I should start trying to make new sober friends. I think I might be ready for that now.
First congrats on your sober time, that’s amazing!! And how weird that it’s just come at you like this now.
I was going to say the craving is possibly a sign that you are reaching for something, to fill some unmet need. I guess that’s a good thing to think more on.
A while ago I was going on a night out and I started imagining being there drinking like I used to… It was weird. I realised that I was nervous and my brain decided to fire off an alcohol craving, over 3 years after stopping drinking! Just shows how ingrained those neural connections can be.
Anyway, great to have you here and hope you find the magic! Bet it’s already inside you waiting to be unleashed
I’m still learning how the forum works but I think this is a reply all. Thank you all. Sincerely and deeply because I think you have helped me figure out what I was looking for.
I think I spent too much time in my new shell and wasn’t ready to go out and meet new people and experience new things. I have worked hard for two years now and I have completely turned my life around and I know I deserve good people who I can turn to especially at times like this. I don’t have anyone who I could call and talk to about this at 3 am and I should look for those kinds of people.
I will look into some local meetings or groups and see what comes of it and while I’m doing that I will stay connected through the app so I don’t feel so alone.
I sincerely appreciate everyone’s responses and support through tonight. You are amazing people and like I said I didn’t know what I needed from the app but I was here for it and thanks to you all I found it. Thank you. Please stay wonderful and sober strong
ps just read above that walking is difficult right now 
