Day 131 AF 
Itās a grands weekend again. All 3 grandkids at once is a challenge but SO much fun. 
Itās good socializing for my autistic grandson. He comes out of his shell when heās with his cousins. They are part of his safe group he calls āmy peopleā that he allows close and will talk to. If you have the blessing of becoming Michaelās āmy peopleā, you are in for a treat of wild imagination and joyful flights of fancy. 
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This makes me so happy, Kaci. 
Iām proud of you. 
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Awesome! That is fantastic! Congratulations! 
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This is the first time Iāve shared my counter here:
I have grappled for years over what exactly I was counting. What exactly am I addicted to? Porn? Masturbation? And what does that look like? What is the boundary? Having the thought? Opening the browser? Forgive me for the unveiled presentation but I am feeling like itās helpful to me to get it out in writing here. (Thank you 
)
I knew all along that opening the browser was the line, even at times where I was still grappling with it. Now however something has changed.
I donāt know exactly whatās changed but now I am at 21 days without ever opening the browser. That to me feels significant. That is the first time this has happened in well over 10 years.
I believe itās about these things:
- Actively, persistently, seeking help. I have been to support groups, counsellors (individual and marriage), and members of my faith community about this. Yes I have struggled. But I have doggedly pursued this for a long time.
- Working on my marriage as a place where I see my spouse and share and listen without judgment, and where my spouse does the same for me, daily. This has had a transformative impact on our marriage and for the first time I feel actively seen and supported (and she does too). That has built a cycle of connection where I am now reaching out at times when, in the past, I would isolate (and use).
- Paying attention to what my heart is telling me about what Iām doing with my day, and noticing when I might need a change. I have been feeling halfhearted at work recently so I am looking for a new place, a new direction. That has had a helpful effect on my mood and my attitude.
And last but far from being least, Talking Sober. This is a space I can go 24 hours a day, spread some positivity on threads, make connections, share, and be seen. This community is one of my favourite spaces. I am immensely grateful for that. Thanks Talking Sober fam!
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Thank you so much , means the world
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This is key for me. No matter where I am in my life, I always know that I have complete control of taking a new and better direction. Itās so important to never stop dreaming.
Iām beyond grateful that youāre here, Matt. The positivity you share with me and with others is hugely supportive. You have made a difference in my life, and I appreciate you for that.
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Thatās wonderful Kaci - Iām so happy for you, rediscovering yourself like that. Itās nice isnāt it?
@Thirdmonkey Iām glad Ms Monkey is recovering. I learn a lot from my partner as well. I keep thinking I have stir fry skills until I taste her vegetables. She has got the knack and is gradually reaching me! 
@947496893734373 good for you on being conscious with your eating. Thatās such an important thing, being aware, being in the moment. Good for you!
@Frank68 its nice to see you teaching. I know how important martial arts is to you and Iām thrilled youāre getting to help others find the passion too!
@SelfLove_42 me too! I also find my days get away from me. One day at a time & a to do list - thatās my plan for today 
@Rockstar24777 that is terrifying. Itās hard to see that. Do you have someone there you can share with and get support from? Iām glad youāre sharing here and glad youāre safe. You deserve to have healthy support and a good community brother. Take care!
@Soul_Man good for you! Itās nice to see the positive impact on our bodies as we clean up
@TigerMatriarch Happy for you Itās so nice to have family around like that. I tutored children with autism for several years while I was in school and it was an uplifting experience. I found them to be some of the most honest people I knew. Honesty is a gateway to real understanding - and in my opinion itās more important than extensive book learning (which can sometimes be lots of information with little true understanding). Iām glad you get to spend time with loved ones like that
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Congratulations Carolyn!!!
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Thank you @Matt and yeah a co worker of mine stopped by about 20 mins ago and I was able to process what happened. Tons of nightmares last night but Iām doing a lot better this morning now that Iāve been able to work through it. I have incredible people I work with and theyāre a huge support for me. Have a great day bro and thanks again 
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Those are gorgeous and that was a fantastic gift idea, Charlie!
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Congrats on your recovery!!!
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Checking in, all sober. Last couple of weeks its been alot of sickness in the house, mostly the kids (my pains are the normal anyways), and now again more chickenpoxs, this time my 13year old. Tomorrow its mothersday here in Norway so Im making a cake for when my mom and sister are coming over for coffee and cake.
Hope you all have a good day and are feeling good. Much love 
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So awesome Carolyn !
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I can really relate to this and I think for behavioral addictions these are questions a lot of us have. I remember asking Beth " What exactly are you counting on your ED counter?" Because there are so many behaviors and rituals for me that are under the umbrella of ED. I donāt track my ED because like my self injuring I find seeing the counter triggers thoughts and they can easily become obsessive. I donāt even know my exact clean day for SH I just know I acted out once when I deleted my old account so I use the opening of this account as my clean day. And I consider myself in healing from my ED as of my 2nd anniversary in recovery, that was when I had a big shift in mindset around myself. I guess we live and learn. I know when I am healing, I can feel the difference between suffering and serenity. I am definitely feeling serenity now.
Congrats on your days Matt, happy to be on this journey with you. 
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Hey guys.
Checking in day 19. Just watching some football. Had a very relaxed day today.
Hope you all have a great day.
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31.5 days and counting. Feeling good and staying low carb seems to help with my journey of drug and alcohol freedomā¦
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Wow thank you for that Stella Iām going to pass this along to my bosses thank you!
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Checking in day 568
This thread is magical. After my last post I managed to feel okay for a few hours. I did both spin and yoga the last two days, and then yesterday I woke up and I felt ānormalā. Just like that! Wtf? Am I bipolar? I cleaned out my car and the fridge yesterday. It was nice to finally have energy again. Lots of cleaning and housework to catch up on since I pretty much gave up on life the last few weeks and Iām the only one who cleans around here. Gonna keep checking in since like I said, this place is magical. 
Currently sitting here watching my daughter practice gymnastics. She got upgraded to the 4 year old class and itās so cute. Have a great day everyone!
@Misokatsu Congrats Fleur on 18 months!! 
@Matt Congrats on 21 days!! What a great post and analysis. Very interesting! Proud of you.
@ShesGotMoxie HUGE congrats on 6 months!! 
@Charlie_C Those are adorable! You are such a sweet husband. What a great idea!!
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