Solid.
How are you now???
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Way to go Mike!! 100 ODAATs
Love it buddy. Great job.
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Well i made it through day 5. Saddest thing is I was worried about my drinking today because of it being Saturday and it being a playoff football day. In reality it was more so watching my team lose in the playoffs for football. And the weirdest thing about it all! It doesnāt surprise me. It doesnāt make me have the urge to drink. I guess deep down I maybe was expecting this. I am glad that the stress of this is over. I am glad that I can just enjoy life again without sitting at the edge of my seat. I guess I just find it odd that i feel less an urge to drink now. Who knows, maybe I am crazy for feeling this way, and maybe the urges will return (Iām pretty sure they will) but for right now I feel a sense of peace within myself I havenāt had in a long time. I need to find out what this feeling is, so I can try to replicate it along this journey.
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Day 33. The last 2 days have been hard. I have been craving an escape. I just want a break from thinking / working / all the chores of life. Drinking is how I used to escape.
I thought I would try AA for the first time so I drove to a meeting today. I ended up standing outside for 5 minutes and lost my nerve. I felt too anxious about going in and I worried I wouldnāt belong so I left.
Overall, I have been happy in my recovery. It has been hard but my life has improved in practically every way. I canāt go back.
Iām determined to stay sober, I just hope this feeling passes.
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Congrats on your 33 days Pica.
Nice try going to a meeting. They really worked for my grown up kids. That and rehabs and sober living. I havenāt wanted to go to meetings either. I canāt explain it. But what Iām doing is working. If it gets unmanageable I hope Iāll get my ass to a meeting.
When Iām struggling I come on here and open up and just let it out. This shit is hard. Feeling feelings is a new strange for me. Itās hard to explain. Keep checking in. Hang out when you got the time. Meme thread. Photos of nature. Pets. Whatever. Best thing Iāve learned is ask for help. And gratitude. Lots of gratitude.
Iām glad your here.
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āfeeling feelingsāā¦ exactly! Itās so new. Iām not used to feeling things so often. I used to numb myself after work every day and now I donāt know what to do with all these thoughts.
I guess it will be a learning process. Thank you for your response and advice. It is helpful to be on here so I need to do it more often (and Iāll definitely continue to visit the sober sports thread 
)
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Hey congrats on your days!!! So happy to read you tried to go to a meeting, even driving there takes a lot of courage. I can really understand your nervousness, I was so nervous when I first went too.
I just wanted to touch on you worrying you wouldnāt belong. My whole life I altered myself to fit in to other peopleās idea of who I was. I was so-and-soās daughter or I was " the model" or I was āthe arm candyāā¦ I never felt like I was ever given any space to be myself. In the rooms of AA and NA I get that. We ALL belong if you are an addict or an alcoholic you belong!!! Itās easy there is no test or way you need to look or some clique you need to fit into. You just have to want to recover. Tradition 3 - The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking If you have that Pica, you belong.
And the newcomer is the most important person at a meetingā¦ we need you there. Please come back. 
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Thank you @Its_me_Stella
I appreciate the reassurance. I will try again and hopefully make it through the door this time! 
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You can always come here and we will help you get through the door. You are never alone.
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Congratulations on your 9 months Megan. Thatās some serious sobriety right there.
Keep up the good work.
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Thereās feelings. And thereās thoughts. We need to deal with 'm both. Itās hard at times. But dealing with 'm without running away from them is exactly what recovery is. Facing life. Dealing with life, instead of digging ourselves a hole, covering our eyes and ears, trying to numb it all. Itās not easy but itās so worth it Pica. Iām very happy youāre here with all of us. Together we can do this.
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Day 124 checking in
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Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break, you are doing your self a good service by putting good stuff in, whatever that maybe. āWe will love you until you love yourselfā I hear a lot in online meetings. I love you and you are worthy of a good life and everything that is part of a good life is for you 
. Hope you have a lovely sober Sunday 
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3 weeks sober. Iām grateful for the freedom 
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Day 530
Played tennis with the in-laws. It has been a while, but was the same level as before, which is not great, but still nice to just play.
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Iāve done online meetings for nearly a year. I much prefer them. I can do more listening without my paranoid self talking all the time!. Online all over the world with all countries xx congratulations on 33 days sober. Get in a meeting, share your experience and get a chip . You deserve the recognition for being clean for over 30 days 
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Day 20 AF.
I just had a horrible dream. I was drinking.
The feeling of guilt and shame for ruining my hard work woke me up feeling so stressed and upset.
I am so relieved it was a dream.
Well done everyone. X
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- Coffee. Just cancelled my spinning class for this morning. Going for a little ride instead as it is dry and not too cold. Feeling pretty good. Got that lazy Sunday feeling. And yes, riding my
is lazy for me. Itās doing my own thing. Itās mindful. Itās meditative. Itās fun. It is for me.
Find your own good stuff to do friends. Just as long as itās sober and clean. Because thatās a first condition, a sine qua non for us all. have as good a Sunday as you all can. Love from Amsterdam and Diamond Valley OR, 2017.
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Day 28 for me. Iāve recently had the odd urge to have shots of vodka but they soon passed.
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