Evening check in…my lord. Breath…helping my son with his Math homework.
…my youngest …wow have things changed. Not embrassed anymore it is what it is. Getting him a tutor as I did with my two oldest asap.
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Good Evening Charlie
Thank you for your honest share.
Keep well.
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Happy Birthday to your daughter. She’s very fortunate to have you as her Mom ! 
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Charlie
I always chase things that give me a surge in any type of yummy brain chemicals. From sunrises to meditations nothing on this planet is safe from my addict if it gives me any feeling of euphoria, or elation… I want more, more, more.
So maybe you’re just chasing a high you got from a smile or something that said lady gifted you with. I do recall you having sometype of thing recently that you had to work out with your wife. Could this “crush” be replacing the high you used to get from that other “relationship”?
I am glad your talking about it, shed light on that stuff or it will eat you alive.
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Is there a thread? I am mostly off work in Feb and could commit more time to trying meditation.
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There is and I will tag you in it as soon as I find it. Hahahhah
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I think these are normal feelings, I do the same charlie. We know how to handle them tho, call them out and put them in the back of your mind, it’s normal to feel them tho but when you do tell them to fuck off, just like when it comes to drinking.
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That’s right friend. I know mine has me fiending for sugar again, I’m starting my counter tomorrow.
Grrrr addiction.
(One last hot chocolate though. 
)
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279 days clean. Feeling extremely close to a relapse. Not even sure if I care anymore
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@Misokatsu check out Insight Timer, free app with amazing materials. Im about to do a guided meditation tonight
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I felt the same way right around that time. Stay the course. You may not know now but you will know tomorrow why it was worth it. I’ll be routing for you ! 
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Yep that’s why we are here 
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Ah, I think we all need attention. I know that different types of attention stir up different feelings in me though. I had to look at that in my step work and figure out why I put myself into situations that were not healthy for me just to satisfy some sick need I had. Like why even when I was a child did I seek out negative attention…
Human beings are complex and addicts well… we are addicts.
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Sober on a sobering day 
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Day 280.
Spending money on self care instead of drugs.
Sobriety is rewarding 
Obsessed with my new nails lol 
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Day 28 checking in. Thinking of going to my first AA meeting tonight…been reading on the Recovery Quotes thread and getting a lot of solace out of it. The program might just be necessary for me to move forward from the mess I’ve made of my life. Any advice on starting out?
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Care. You are worth sobriety, and the life of freedom, respect and joy it can bring. Double down on your tools. Be strong.
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Checking in day 64. Havent been on in a few days so lots of reading to catch up. Had a tough situation at work and it caused me tons of anxiety. I had many tapes playing and was full.of fear but i faced it. Overcame it. Took some lessons from it. But best of all reasolved it. Bought a few books this weekend at the spiritual store with my daughter, so i have been diving into them the last few days instead of being on my phone. Feeling really grateful tonight for the faith that keeps carrying me on. Sending strength and love to all.
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