I am grateful that u were able to make the right choice for u and ur recovery and for ur inner peace. Anything to do with the heart is incredible difficult to go thru 
I really hope it doesnât come down to us leaving each other. I am always for working on things. I donât give up easily on things unless the other person has either crossed a relationship boundary of mine or they say they want to leave. After I approached him when he came back from his smoke, I just calmly chatted to him and he seems calmer now top. Before u could literally cut the tension with a knife.
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I fell again - back to day 1.
My appa is dying from Covid - I havenât seen him in 2 years. Havenât seen family as long. I am hurting.
He has Delta variant and his lung capacity is down to 50%.
I know this is all rationalization, no lectures. And that the best gift I can give him is my recovery and leaving addiction before it gets to death is my best offering for him.
Please send me your healing love as I try to stand up again. And make this work. I just wish we had finances and capacity for me to see him - I feel him leaving me and I donât know what to do apart from hoping it isnât too late.
Day 1. Again.
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- Coffee. Early shift coming up. Itâs early. I guess they call it early shift for a reason. I can do this. Just like I can make it through this day sober and clean. One day at a time. Like we all can. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from Amsterdam.
@SC-ptsd In my thoughts SC. Love and positive vibes to both of you. Itâs never too late. Hugs.
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Day 1172 and the beginning of day 18 no diet coke.
I am grateful I have the day âoffâ work and my seminar starts only at 9 am. So still plenty of time. Just booked 30 min of morning Yoga in some minutes. I will attend the seminar today, probably not tomorrow.
I am grateful waking up hungover-free.
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Healing love sent. Hugs for your hurts.
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Checking in Day 50 âŚ.still thankful still sober and still taking it a day at a time. Iâm just getting in from work (1am) and turned on the NA marathon zoom meeting⌠i felt like i need to get connected and hear some experience strength and hope. My birthday is coming up and Iâm going to Cabo Iâm going with a friend who doesnât drink which is helpful for me to stay on track and not have the pressure of being with someone who drinks. I do want to stay connected here daily because with work and just life it hasnât been as frequent and I donât want my brain to feel as if I have it. Do you guys think it is the right time to find a sponsor is there a time frame when you should start doing the work and steps? I hope all are well and blessed always 
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Checking in on day 80! I like round figures, close to my 3-month mark. 
Off I go to work! 
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I feel as if I could have written your post! I turned 40 a few months ago and have a husband that is great about not drinking m-th but then has 6-7 throughout the day⌠that cannot be better. 
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Congratulations with your 4 months of sobriety. You do a great job. Hang in there!
Hope you feeling better at the moment. Wishing you the best 
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388 days
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on 20 days, 3 weeks tomorrow!! And @Jesile congrats on your 80 days 
@Fargesia good to see you back
@SC-ptsd sending best wishes for you and your dad
Did my housework last night, which is unheard of on a work night normally too drained. But relearning in small steps that this all helps as felt accomplished and house look fresh. Tonight I shall go to gym for a swim, steam and sauna.
Anyone heard from @CATMANCAM ?
Have a strong 24 hrs all 
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Day 120 checking in odaat hope everyone has a good day 
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Good morning @Twizzlers,
I hope you had a decent nights sleep, must have been more reassuring with the cameras up for sure.
You go girl. A woman after my own heart! 
These are a good visual deterrent and all but be sure that you want them, the amount of safety they afford compared to the costs is slightly skewered. They look a lot safer than they are and can be manipulated so people can still get past themâŚthe number of schools that have them that are still broken into is unreal. The interlocking retractable gates are best but very expensive (each panel links into the next rather than just crossing beams like trellises).
Aww thatâs so sweet, I have 2 cats and 2 dogs now (one dog recently passed away) although I think my cats are faulty, they donât like cuddles at all! Itâs good that you have snuggle time, even if itâs just so you donât feel alone.
I love the gym, itâs my sanctuary, give me focus and purpose, plus if Iâm going to achieve my dream I need to hit it. Diet is key, I know a few people who use Keto, itâs good for quick term losses and so is intermittent fasting, essentially itâs not about a diet or fad, itâs all about proportional change, your body needs certain fats and nutrients, you need to feed it what it needs, portion control is the hardest part, most people over eat to massive proportions. Eating less isnât always an answer to get weight loss, obvs the science of less in more out works but to fuel your body for exercise sometimes you have to eat more. Speak to a personal trainer, there
Will be loads near you and ask them how much they would charge for a nutrition plan. It will cost you a lot less in the long run and youâll see results quicker eating right.
Donât get caught up on scales, they are a good sign of progress but not all changes shown on the scales, your body will change more before the weight changes, muscle to fat ratio etc.
I hope youâre Looking forward to the new trainers and leggings, enjoying the walks and the newer you!
If you ever need human interaction when youâre low just drop me a message, Iâm always happy to chat, even if itâs just about the weather (typical British topic or what!), something to break up boredom or whatever, loneliness is not a good place to be!
Have a lovely day!
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Checking in day 3 - I really didnât use to struggle so much the first few days to getting a head start but like they say this thing is progressive. Iâm feeling quite brainwashed by the romanticism of alcohol although my rational brain knows itâs a lie my conditioning after being back on the bottle for about a year itâs gonna take time for my mind to catch up again and realise it just poison. Anyway day 3. Feeling ok. Treading slowly. One day at a time.
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.
Here today. 
⌠have a âhighly connected to the universeâ sober day
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1239 days no alcohol
Been going without sleep for a while. I am not sure whatâs going on. I keep getting these weird micro sleeps, and then I donât sleep for the rest of the night.
I have this weird tick where I canât stop clearing my throat for some reason. Ended up doing that last night. Drinking maybe a liter and a half of water fixes the problem, but then I have a different problem. Iâve had this tick thing for, 20 years I guess, roughly.
I donât even remember what happened today. It was like yesterday, which was like the previous day. Just so tired that I wasnât consciously paying attention. I know I didnât drink or anything, but I need sleep. I pray that I do get sleep. Like, 8 hours of sleep haha. Ugh. Argh, I have had insomnia for 17 years. Lol
I just donât want to take much of my meds anymore. I cut back on two of them. Trying go work out more and whatnot. Did some pretty intense workouts the other day, and if I get sleep I will likely work out after waking up. Gotta lose weight. More importantly I need strength training, my core is weak and so is my back, which results in issues with pain and mobility.
I hope everyone is doing well
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Day 526
Yet again my husband deflects my feelings and concerns with âAre you taking ur meds?". Actually, I have been, but he still blames that. I really cannot bear that he wonât take me seriously because I am on meds. Of course, he wouldnât take me seriously if I stopped taking them. I donât seem to be able to make him understand how misunderstood and unhappy it makes me.
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4 months AF today, and stoked 
Light and love to everyone today, whether your amidst the struggle or on cruise control 
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Ugh, it can feel so difficult and lonely in situations like that. I feel your pain. I never dreamed that I would be the one concerned about my partnerâs drinking, because for the longest time I was the problem drinker in the partnership, but itâs been flipped this way for almost a year and a half with ups and downs. Iâm getting some good nuggets of support from reading al-anon material and reading othersâ experiences on the thread about partners with addiction issues that @Dazercat created (so grateful, Eric!) The thing that burns me is that he âfunctionsâ relatively well on the surface. Iâm going to try to get him to read This Naked Mind. His most recent goal he has mentioned is to never drink until he passes out. I hope that happens for him. He says he has never blacked out and I hope it stays that way. Anyway, thanks for your reply. I appreciate knowing you âget it!â
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Congrats on day 50 and Iâm so glad you are going to Cabo with a sober friend. That will be a great vacation for you. As far as getting a sponsor, I think itâs all about finding someone thatâs the right fit and you trust to take you thru the steps. I attend two weekly AA meetings with a solid group but donât have a sponsor. I may do the steps down the road with someone, just not ready quite yet.
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Congrats on 431 days!!
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