Hey guys
Checking in day 3. Its actually midnight. Was about to go to bed then i remembered I did not checkin.
Had a good a day today.
Stay safe and goodnight
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Day 168 without alcohol. When I think about that in other termsā¦ say 168 days until fun summer times in mid-July, or itās been a little more than 168 days since I last saw my momā¦ those are a lot of days! Iām happy weāre all here, working towards a better life. 
I wanted to share this, but wasnāt sure where to put it, so Iām just gonna share it here. Itās inspiring. 
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I never want to start this journey over again.
Great article. Loved it. I even sent it to my wife 
Thanks for sharing. I love my better life.
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580 days, hit 19 months sober yesterday. Sobriety is the new norm. I was invited to go out few hour ago, it was almost 10pm, and I was like āhaha yeah as ifā. Before going out on weekdays was normal. Now Iād much rather just get under my blankets at that hour or watch something good in cozy lighting under warm blankies while petting the cats.
I am doing some awesome things at work but of course I feel unsuccessful because I canāt keep to my deadlines. Luckily my boss is super understanding and the rest of the team is super helpful. Iām trusted despite my flaws.
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Day 282.
Something just happened that could Iāve been very triggering but I wasnāt triggered. The hotel that Iām staying in just stuffed up. I was sitting in bed and the phone rang in the room. It was the front office reception telling me that the previous guest had left something in the desk drawer in my room. I proceeded to open the drawer to find a big box full of weed. Immediately the front office reception guy comes up to collect the box. After about 15 minutes I go downstairs too Reception to tell them that I am very angry and irritated that there was a big box of drugs left in my room. The reception guy said it all look pretty normal as if to say it was just weed. I went back to my room and didnāt respond to him and decided that it didnāt affect me and to just let it go and not let it ruin my day. It made me remember that once upon a time that previous guest was actually me but instead of weed it would have been a box full of other stuff. It made me feel grateful for my sobriety and reminded me of how far Iāve come. I didnāt let it trigger me. It just goes to show that anything at any time can happen in sobriety that is out of your control and all you can do is used the tools in your sobriety toolbox to get through triggers. Also I just discovered something amazing with my phone I can speak this text into my phone instead of typing it how have I not discovered this sooner!! 
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11 days. Already my mind is thinking about going back to moderating. Which is dumb because iv been here before and itās never worked! Realising that all the things I thought I liked maybe I donāt even like that much, I just liked the drinking. Everything I would do, the main excitement would really be the drinking and the rest was just a side show. Sort of in a whatās the point in doing anything now if I canāt drink, kind of mood. Well not anything, Iāve still been exercising but apart from that. Really hoping this is a phase that passes. Also in this kind of mood normally Iād go for wine, canāt do that, cigarettes, well Iāve stopped that too, ended up eating some Ice cream, but kind of annoyed with myself for that too, why do I need anything?!?!?! Well I donāt need it but Iāve only so much will power to resist everything. Hope everyone is having a more positive day than me, sorry this is such a downer postā:rofl:
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Woooohooooooo!
Congrats on 19 months Jenna.
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@anon52066378 Congratulations!
@Mno Grey and grim here too.
@Letthesunshinein Nice job!
@DryIn785 It can be super hard, but try to look for things to be grateful for. Your boss was annoying but did you complete a task? Help a customer?
@Jennajen Wonderful
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Iām going through some of the same thing still. Stuff that I used to love doing lime working on the car in the driveway or sitting out at the fire out back on the weekends listening to music or even cooking, I just canāt get get motivated to do it cause I used to love drinking during it. And I know I canāt moderate because that just snowballs back into nonstop drinking and all the shit that goes with it. Itāll pass, it is getting a little bit easier. But sometimes itās like an hour to hour fight. You doing good keep it upš
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60 days is massive well done 
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This sounds so much like me. We love to grill and listen to music on the patio, but I havenāt set foot out there since I stopped drinking. I heavily associate those times and the patio with drinking. I know Iāll eventually get back out there, but not until I know I can be strong enough.
Donāt be annoyed with yourself, @anon86198612. 
Eat the ice cream! We donāt have to resist everything that brings us comfort or fills the space that alcohol left. I eat dark chocolate every. single. day. I eat honey crisp apples nearly everyday, too. 11 days is still early enough that your mind and body are adjusting to this change, so be kind to yourself. Iām proud of you.
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Today made day 10! Double digits! I woke up and had a headache for half the day, but other than that I feel great. Since I hit double digits I decided to celebrate with a little ice cream. It feels so good to make it to double digits.
One day at a time!
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Thatās awesome! Congrats!
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Sounds like you handled it very well considering. Well done. Not sure I would have been so calm. I havenāt smoked for 9 years after kicking a 16 year habit. Seems when I quit smoking I replaced it shortly after with alcohol.
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I SO relate to this article, thank you for sharing here.
Congrats on 168 days!
For me, the past 130 sober days have been some of the most important of my life. I didnāt hit a rock bottom. I wasnāt spiraling out of control. I thought I had my shit together. I didnāt have to have a drink every day. But I was not whole. I was not happy. I knew I could be and do better. I didnāt believe I was an alcoholic because I didnāt fit the traditional definition. But I knew it was waiting for me if I didnāt make a change and take the leap. My relationships have improved with everyone around me since ditching the booze. I have patience and clarity. Every day is not perfect, but each one is immeasurably better without the haze of alcohol.
I am going to keep at this sobriety thing ODAAT.
Keep fighting the good fight everyone, and thank you all for continuing to come here and tell your stories, warts and all. You have all helped me in my journey of sobriety, and I am so grateful.
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Powerful and true statement right here
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Checking in
Day 4
Today has been a strange one thatās for sure. Had a good cry in the morning and then I chatted on one of the threads where I was able to come to some sense of peace over a past issue where Iāve held onto anger for like 9 years. Kind of an eye opener I guess. Realizing that no one is born pre-programmed to hurt people and cause pain. Everyone has a story and the people who hurt peopleā¦ also have been hurt by others. Itās not to say that what happened was okay. But it gives me a sense of understanding. The fact that Iāve allowed them to continue to have power over me mentally (for 9 years after the event), is then still having control. And therefore I am reclaiming my power back and learning to forgive so that I can have a sense of peace around this area in my life.
Then, I decided to listen to this half an hour 396 Hz meditation music thing on YouTube. It is supposed to cleanse the feelings of anxiety and guilt. It was the strangest thingā¦ not sure what I was expecting honestly but I opened my eyes after what seemed like 30 min of listeningā¦ and it had only been 8. I relaxed and listened focusing on what i needed to be rid of and I ended up falling asleep and waking up 3 hours later! Dreamt of a friend from back home. And just feeling different. In a good way tho. Iām not sure 
Anyway, Iām waiting for hubby to get home. We will be ordering KFC thru skip the dishesā¦ yummm. Itās nice to have extra $$ when u donāt spend all of it on drugs. I enjoy trying new foods now. The other day I tried Lebanese food! It was good! (I try to eat healthy but ya know lol)
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Same bro same. For everything for me, Iāll abuse anything.never liked pills but still would do them, my pre workout is fucking ruining my insides but Iāll literally take scoop after scoop just to feel that jitter. It seems like so much more of a battle this time, but much love congrats on your 49 soon to be 50 days
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Congratulations!!!
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