Day 135 checking in 
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Day 29 AF
FEELING FAB
Canât believe how much better I feel in the mornings. I never really had hangovers because drinking a six pack each day became the norm and didnât seem to affect me. Not even sometimes annoying co workers can bring me down at the moment. Completely different mindset.
PEACE AND STRENGTH TO ALL
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- Coffee. Therapy day. Last week a member of the group shared he wanted to quit. Had a lot of reasons but none of 'm really stuck. Hope he will be there today. Still 12 sessions to go.
Funny thing is I started questioning my own presence there. Lots of other stuff going on on Thursday that Iâm missing because I have to be in therapy. Work stuff, courses, meetings. And what more is there to learn anyway? Gotta move on with my life and I felt therapy actually was holding me back.
But I know that isnât true. If thereâs anything holding me back itâs me. I might be sober and clean. I might have worked hard on changing my patterns and habits that got me addicted in the first place. Thereâs still loads of work to do. In fact the work will never stop. Which is OK.
Recovery is a verb. And I better make the best of the chances Iâm given. Therapy is one such chance. Iâll better finish what I started. If only to finish what I started this time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober as itâs the only way to move forward for all of us. Love from the North Sea.
@Rockstar24777 600 Rob! @Dolse71 500 Paul! Huge congrats the both of you!
@SoberWalker Happy Birthday and many happy sober walks Claudia!
@apes2020 Many congrats on your move and happy sober living in your new place!
@CATMANCAM Addiction is a insidious bastard. Great awareness friend. Success with the procedure.
@SadMemeQueen Youâre not alone Megan. Youâre here. Hang with us. We got you.
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Day 541
Had a day with a few mishaps and irritations. Feel like being whiney but going to practice gratitude instead.
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1,254 days without alcohol. Got a little triggered the other day seeing it displayed frequently in a movie I was watching, but then i pretended they were drinking tea insteadâŠout of a glass bottle lol. It worked.
Sleepless right now, but I donât mind. I have no loss of energy.
Day 3 technically of no doxepin. I donât feel weird at all from it. I actually remember having more crazy mood swings when I was on itâŠbasically numb, numb, fits of hysterical laughter, then mad, angry, sad, then numb again. No thankie. If I donât sleep at all until tomorrow night, I donât mind. I actually feel wide awake, it is weird. It has a ridiculously long half life, so if any terrible side effects occur, they will occur today. The no sleep I am not counting. I feel like I have slept for days in a row and woke up with enough energy to power through several days. I know this is not healthy but I am a busy bee right now trying to get a lot of work done.
As for clonazepam update, I safely take 1.5mg daily. No ill effects, for over a month no problems. Very pleased to come this far off the zombifying 4mg dose. If I have to be at this dose forever, so be it.
Essentially, 95% more sober than I was almost four years ago. I still canât believe how stupid I was to combine alcohol and benzos daily for years. Ugh.
Take care everyone. 
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One Year. Day 365. 2-3-22
A year ago I wasnât sure I wanted to become alcohol free. I really didnât see myself as having a problem with drinking. It was something I âenjoyedâ. It helped me ârelaxâ. It was a social âthingâ. It was a nice ârewardâ after accomplishing tasks or just after a day of living. Blah, blah, blah. But I came to admit that it controlled me, my time, my thoughts, and my activities. This was unacceptable to me.
I would still like to have a glass of wine (or two) every now & then but I choose not to give myself permission because it would never be just one or two. Eventually it would become much more again. I chose to quit. I donât need to keep revisiting that decision so I get over my âwant toâ moments & move on in my alcohol free days. I tell myself to keep taking one right step after another.
It is not always easy to untangle the webs I have woven for myself but it is simple. I call it (for me) adulting & showing up & choosing to be in control of my own life (as much as any of us can be). I try to remain open for whatever comes up for me to work on or as I see it to move myself forward and âtowardâ a better me. Authentic living not perfection is my goal.
My chosen year token item I had engraved with a reminder to myself. âSerenity ⊠It isnât freedom from the storm. Itâs the peace we seek & find within ourselves in spite of the storm. Believe.â I am learning that I absolutely can control my responses to life events without my DOC and to be more than okay doing so without it.
Per Johann Hari, âthe opposite of addiction isnât sobriety, itâs connectionâ so thank you all for your sharing, caring, and input. The real life posts as well as the positive ones helped me. I appreciate the long term struggles not being down played. Those posts lit the path for me. Again, thanks.
I wish you all much success & happiness (whatever that means to you), good health & healing, contentment & connectiveness, and especially excitement for your life in your own recovery journey. Happy Trails.
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Beautiful, I hope today continues to light your paths for tomorrows. A whole year is something to be proud of! One day at a time right! 
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Checking in on day 37! Working my butt off to reclaim my purpose in life following my dreams and my heart. I donât have time to think about drinking. By the end of the day I realize that when I focus on positive, constructive tasks my emotional and mental state are in a place of gratitude so alcohol has no room.
Iâm completely aware that this is a journey that must be taken serious life and death! At no time can I just recline back and think Iâm invincible because right at that moment my deep rooting clawed monkey is waiting to come steal everything from me. Not today monkey not today!!! So just for today Iâm choosing not to take that first drink!
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Congrats on Day 37! Keep it up!
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Thanks. Still a work in process. Congrats on YOUR 500 days! Thanks for showing the path.
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Woohoo congratulations on 1 year 
loved reading your share and especially this
Really hit home for me. Thank you for your post!
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Congrats on your 500 days. 
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Congratulations! What a lovely share to commemorate it.
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Checking in 35 days No drinking. Its wierd thinking about, because it feels like forever but in the same time like it was just yesterday waking up with hangover and feeling dead, like crap and shitty. Im happy to be sober for today, and most likely I will be sober tomorrow also. One day at a time.
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Day 32 here and counting. I love reading everyoneâs posts and accomplishments. This forum has been very helpful for me so far and I am thankful for every single one of you.
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Congrats 
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