I have definitely felt like this and it has scared me. On days like this I dialed it right back to the basics.
So what got you through your first 10 days Mike?
For me it was taking it minute by minute at times, spending HOURS reading on here, going for walks, taking showers when I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin.
I didn’t have a sponsor for those first 10 days , if I did I would have been calling her because after I finally got one she was my best tool to get through tough days.
I also hope you make it through today. It was fucking painful watching you scramble to get back here after your relapse, I don’t want that for you again. You need to do much more than just hope for yourself today. Work for your recovery.
Morning check in Day12
Woke up feeling off. But am slowly getting myself our of it. Morning has been decent. Got myself up even tho I was tired and went to the gym. I’m striving for consistency… progress not perfection Just like recovery… I am striving for consistency. In the past, today would normally be a tough day for me. My husband got paid today (and his cheque was bigger than usual due to his long hours at work) PLUS! … he got his tax refund of almost $3000. And $60 that his coworker owed to him. So that’s ALOT of money. And I’m not even phased by this! I am just preparing myself for my hubby to say something about using tho. So keeping my strength up today and staying on my toes. In not using what matter what. Idgaf lol I’m tired of resetting my timer and feeling like shit. Why spend $$ on something that does NOTHING for me but cause me pain and suffering. Pointless!!! Anyway, I’m staying strong in faith today and staying close to u all and supports! Luv to all! Praying for those struggles today and congratulating everyone celebrating milestones
It is tough! But I find having consistency whether it’s in recovery or exercise or eating or whatever… helps SO so much! It’s easier to see results and feel better over all if I’m consistent everyday how u managing with consistency? What are u trying to be consistent with if u don’t mind me asking?
Thanks guys I took a nap. @Mno I really wish I knew what was wrong. Literally nothing is wrong but my addict tends to make a mountain out of a mull hill, I have everything I need, im grateful. Maybe I’m setting expectations in things and not realizing it, I’m trying to dig to figure out what’s really bugging me but i really don’t see why anything should be bugging me. I went out and shoveled a bunch of snow which helped me a little, took my nap so now I’m gonna eat some food
Checking in day 19 - no alcohol. Had a few cigs just going to accept that I have this pack, I will finish it, but I won’t buy more. And haven’t eaten any unhealthy food so that’s a step up from yesterday! Bought some healthier snacks for when I have cravings. Feeling a little better now so hopefully I can get a morning run in tomorrow. Happy Friday everyone
Feeling super.
Have a big night ahead catching up with friends and family for the FFA CUP (soccer match) which will include meeting up at a pub pre game. Have already played it out in my mind and I know I won’t have a drink as I don’t even have any urges or inclinations too. Will be a fun sober night.
Checking in, 1255 days without alcohol. Almost 1256 since my sober date was in the evening.
4 days off doxepin. No side effects besides feeling like a normal person again…well, that and the body odor, but the cucumber and lemon water actually had a noticeable effect just from the first day! Currently drinking a nice big glass of it again.
Just like recovery… I am striving for consistency. In the past, today would normally be a tough day for me. My husband got paid today (and his cheque was bigger than usual due to his long hours at work) PLUS! … he got his tax refund of almost $3000. And $60 that his coworker owed to him. So that’s ALOT of money. And I’m not even phased by this! I am just preparing myself for my hubby to say something about using tho. So keeping my strength up today and staying on my toes. In not using what matter what. Idgaf lol I’m tired of resetting my timer and feeling like shit. Why spend $$ on something that does NOTHING for me but cause me pain and suffering. Pointless!!! Anyway, I’m staying strong in faith today and staying close to u all and supports! Luv to all! Praying for those struggles today and congratulating everyone celebrating milestones 
how u managing with consistency? What are u trying to be consistent with if u don’t mind me asking? 
Our addicts are very good at that.
