I’m sorry you are going through this. What you wrote sounds like what I went through in 2013. And it was a major depressive episode that landed me in treatment for 30 days. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t anything. I could barely get out of bed, even with two kids to take care of. If this persists, please seek help. It could be a case of the winter blues, hopefully it is. Depression was awful. I’m sending thoughts of comfort and healing your way.
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Thanks Seb, it really blows my mind that I’m where I am at today. You must of been up around 4am 
that is super early!!
@M-be-free49 happy to see you’re back, the climb isn’t always easy but we’re all here for you 
ODAAT
Thank you Des @Lotusflower 
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Checking in Day 35 and despite all the temptation that I’ll be around tonight, there will be a day 36!
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Pure GOLD.
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I wondered what you were up to. Great to see you back
What was it that led to picking up that first drink? Was there a specific thing, or a series of things - internal or external?
Hope you can use the experience to take you where you need to go next. Onwards and upwards mate! 
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Awwww I love you so much lil sis welcome back!!! 
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Have you got WhatsApp, DM me you number I’ve got something for you.
Also do you have a sponsor bc they should be explaining all this to you.
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Checking in sober, happy to be here with everyone. Getting back to my good habits. Feeling blah latetly/depressed. Still having a difficult time with my Mom’s dementia. Watching someone disappear in front of you is a serious gut punch, but not an excuse to use. Doing this day sober with you all 
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@ShesGotMoxie I haven’t, I was only diagnosed on Xmas Eve so still getting the hang of it, I’ll grab some nuts next time I shop, thank you 
@Gbw3006 sending strength
@Deep congrats on 2 weeks 
@Kacialyn I hope you were able to get some sleep last night and that today has been better 
Just seen your more recent check in, glad you’re feeling better 
@EarnIt congrats on 40 days
@Luckyredz this was so good to read, congrats on your stack of amazing numbers
@Becsta this was great to read, congrats on your progress 
@Butterflymoonwoman your set up looks awesome 
I hope you feel better soon
@Julied congrats on your year 
@Lotusflower congrats on 80 days
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@Rockstar24777 I love the new ink
@Pica congrats on 50 days
@Mich80 congrats on 90 days
@Wakikki congrats on 40 days
@M-be-free49 welcome back you were missed
@roses4me welcome 
congrats on 13 days
@Dansig congrats on 9 months
@Jennajen this sounds like the way I’ve been since 2013, and I know for me it’s mainly depression, might be worth having a conversation with your GP.
547 days no alcohol.
12 days no cocaine.
9 days no binge-eating.
Today was the 5th anniversary of my cousin’s daughter’s passing. She is forever 6. It hurts so much more on these anniversaries.
My addict jumped for joy when he realised I was feeling emotional pain. I’m sick of his sh*t so tonight I’ve dealt with him differently, took him along to a CA meeting. Heard some similarities, had some laughs. Received some handshakes and hugs. They also gave me a 1 week key tag even though that was 5 days ago now. I very nearly asked someone if he would be my sponsor, but I totally bottled it because I’m terrified of long-term commitment. Not sure how to deal with this. Not even sure if I’ll be able to face the fear I know I’ll have when it’s time to make myself go again next week, but I want to and I think I need to.
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Thank you hazy. When I read my angel number last night, that’s pretty much what it said keep pursuing my goal but let the universe help. It really was eye opening I could feel the love from it weird and hard to describe. Appreciate your awesome advice 
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One day at a time.
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BOOM. Thank you, perspective totally shifted 
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Up at 4.15am each morning for a 5.20am start
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Day 293 of no self harm.
I’m ok today. I talked to an old friend from my childhood and I’m hoping we keep in touch. We do check in with each other every now and again. She moved when we were 8 but she still holds a very special place in my heart and always will.
Nothing eventful. Really need to find the energy to do some cleaning.
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Thank you so much !
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That’s awesome you have kept in touch. I have had one friend in my life for 44 years and another for 43!!!
Congrats on your days.
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Evening check in
Supper was soo good! 
Really needed some good nutrients. Not too bad for an amateur chef haha I am still feeling awful. I have no idea how I got sick. I was so proud of myself for working out for 5 days straight last week. Maybe I overdid it and put my body thru too much and got sick? Idk. Just trying to show myself some love and not overdo it. Hoping by next Monday I can get back to working out and eating better and stuff. I loved how I felt with my routine. I haven’t done much recovery stuff. I’m trying to tho but I just feel so crappy. I’m just trying to stay connected on here at least. Hope everyone is having a good day/night 
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