CELEBRATING 100 DAYS OF SOBRIETY
I’m not normally one for writing long posts, however, today I am making an exception.
Today I am able to look back on my life with clarity of mind and the power of sobriety.
Sobriety is a gift given to us all, but one we are not all able to maintain. It is a gift that I now fight to keep. It is a gift that I will fight to pass on to my children. My path to sobriety is now my story that I will tell to those who ask in hope that they will take what they will, leave what they won’t, and in some way guide them towards sobriety for themselves.
Sobriety is measured in actions taken daily and not days without using.
I think back to the ease of childhood play, the joy of anticipation one day brought to the next. Waking up early so I could watch cartoons and see my friends, to explore my youth, my freedom from care, worry and responsibility, get to know my neighbourhood, my desires, my city and spend time with family.
When did this become not enough?
When did I become lost, mistreated, or victimised by life, love, another or myself to look for comfort in addiction?
These things happen every day. Where did I stop and my addiction start?
Addiction is powerful and has brought me to my knees many times, brought me almost to the end of my road. It has disguised itself in many ways throughout my life. If I look hard enough I can see it and feel it at the most intense parts of my life – either waiting or being responsible – cunning enough to convince me that my problem was actually somehow the cure. What was responsible for my pain was somehow now my saviour.
Addiction waits like no other enemy and it takes many forms. Idle time, good days, bad days, celebrations, bereavement, sadness, joy, depression, kind and unkind acts. More than often it is brought to us by family and friends, not by enemies yet it always reveals itself as the ultimate show of force.
One of the things that I know to be true is that sobriety is a gift to be fought for and it is not my punishment. Every time I used drink didn’t end in darkness but every one of my darkest moments was due to my drinking. My strength now comes from knowing my enemy and knowing where my relationship with addiction takes me, where it left me, and where i allowed it to go. That place is not a constant reminder of failure to be doubted or its intensity lessened with time, but an absolute truth of a failed relationship with addiction.
Regret is a prison we build ourselves and love and forgiveness is the key. The key to our happiness is to love ourselves as we love our family, our friends, our children or as a parent should love a child. I will continue to work on me, for I am the one thing that I have the power to change.
My tools are the power of positive thinking, stopping the negative self-talk, treating myself the way I treat others, owning my past, living in the moments as they happen, basking in the time I am spending as I spend it and loving my future as I write it. I now look to live my life being the change that I want to see in the world.
As we rebuild our life piece by piece we forget that time and pressure didn’t create us overnight but over years. We first strive to acknowledge our problems, seek understanding of self, and overcome our addiction through lifelong learning and application. Be real with yourself for what you know to be true, it is after all what got you here.
It’s what got me here…where is here? Here is today, not a place but a concept, a blank canvas that we choose to paint however we please, it may never be a masterpiece, but it’s mine, my story today forged from the past that moulded me into who I am. Here is not the destination but merely another step in my journey, there is no destination to where I am going, there is no right or wrong ways to get to somewhere that doesn’t exist. It would be easy to say Sobriety is my destination, it’s not, a destination is final, it means the end of a journey, this journey can never end because one wrong decision can undo everything done to get to where I am today. So where is here, here is now, the one time I can control and I choose to control it for my good.
I have learnt that you con’t hold on to a mistake just because you took a long time making it.
To those fighting the battle today know that you are not alone, we are never alone. What one day brought you pain can now give you meaning. Trust in the power of urgency to save your life, to get you sober. Ask for help when you need it and give help when asked, for when you help save another you save yourself. I will stand by you like you stand by me. I’ve got your back like you’ve got mine. We will have each other’s backs from here on.
Yesterday is simply the ingredients: today is who we are, and tomorrow is whatever we want it to be. The power of yesterday will fade if we let it, regardless of whether we choose to learn from it or not. If we hold onto the good memories, forgive ourselves and others for the bad and never forget that we are forged by fire that we are stronger together and are a band of brothers in recovery we will be unstoppable in our quests to live free from our weaknesses, our unwanted passengers, our addiction.
I will not run and I will not hide for what I couldn’t do myself I now do with you all, an army of survivors, warriors, brothers and sisters from this day forward. For those still struggling, don’t give up, you are worth it, you are loved and you are worth fighting for. Just because someone else doesn’t see your true value does not mean that you are worthless.
YOU ARE ALL ENOUGH!
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@TigerMatriarch
@Butterflymoonwoman
@Kacialyn
You have helped me on my journey in ways you will never know.
There are so many others who have been instrumental in getting me through this.
@ShesGotMoxie @Lotusflower @Clarity @Dazercat @CATMANCAM @Its_me_Stella
Your words of support and encouragement at various points in my journey have helped so much and I appreciate them all!
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A special thank you goes to you, you have been my constant throughout this journey, I’m lucky to have you with me through this.
keep on keeping on , here is to another 100 days 
Congratulations to you ! 
powerful, uplifting, motivational… damn if I could bottle this up and carry this around with me everyday, I sure as hell would lol
I slept like a baby and woke up clean and sober. Drinking my coffee now and spending some time on TS. Am spending time today to reevaluate my day. Making a little schedule of sorts for myself, setting reminders for myself to take a break, using more aromatherapy etc. I need to change my daily activities, either add or remove something so that this gets sorted, cuz I can’t be feeling like this every evening. Thank u so much for ur support 
Also, where do you find these workshops? Are they online? 
I couod rarely open up about anything and if I did, he would reply with short 1 word answers or be very dismissive of my feelings. He actually was supportive last night and I contribute that to us being clean.
