I agree with @Mno
Set up a support system of people you can reach out to next time.
When I’m depressed, I’m always tempted to drink but now I either come on here or go to a meeting. I’ve met some great people online and in person that I can reach out to.
It’s still really hard but it helps.
Glad you’re still on here 
You got this!
Thanks @Pica I am going to reach out next time for sure. I so new to all this and I need to push myself to be okay with reaching out. I have thought about getting a sponsor because I really want this. I’m not able to go to any meetings but I might look into the zoom meeting.
Thank you 
What a gift this is in recovery…
I hope you have a better day.
Day 95
Just checking in. Have a great Sunday
Checking in 784 days substance free.
Although I have no desire to get loaded today, I can see myself searching desperately for other ways to avoid feeling this sadness that is taking over my body. Online shopping, video games, mindless scrolling. I called and cancelled my step group today and I have told the book study group I would let them know later if I will attend. The thought of being around people is overwhelming, so is the thought of staying in this house all day. I know what I should be doing but I can feel the resistance between my spirit and my will in wanting to sit in silence together. It is difficult to learn how to love this feeling that causes so much pain in my body. It is hard to welcome something fearlessly that I dont have much experience with. I have read many times about there being no wrong ways to experience emotions, except of course to judge them. So I guess that is what I will do, I will just let myself be and stop judging the way I am dealing with this experience. I am clean today and that itself is a miracle.
It IS such a gift! And something that I need alot of practice on lol. Its soo cool to see that moderator symbol by ur name! I’m proud of you 
50 days alcohol and 58 hours tobacco free.
Been using a vape by suggestion from my son, so I’ve taken the suggestion and gone with it. Very grateful to be tobacco free today. 
Checking in
Day 6
I think I realized a new odd pattern with my cravings. Sundays!!! Last Sunday I ended up using. Was fine this week. Even with the extreme anger yesterday. But that little demon is talking to me right now about making a call after work. I won’t follow thru with it. I realize it’s there and now I will let it go, like a floating cloud moving across my mind 
But hmmm wonder what’s up with Sundays? Not like I previously had any days where I tended to use more often than other days… any day was a day to use for any reason 
Oh well, I’m aware of it now. Will maybe listen to some music on my way home or something
Do you use the journal feature on this app? I wasn’t for awhile but I have started since my new meds and it’s been really handy to track mood and sleep. Maybe would be helpful for cravings too?
I actually have never even opened the journal option up. I do have other apps related ro recovery like step 10 and 11 inventories. Or Recovery Path app they help keep track of triggers n moods n stuff. But it might be helpful if I journal here and keep everything together 
thank u for the idea!
Yeah you could even just color the days you crave red, fast and easy to see without opening up the days.
Oh u can do that!!! Cool! To see patterns and stuff!
Day 604. I got dangerously close to craving yesterday. Recap: “preparty” at our place, went dancing, was offered shots. The timing at offering the shots was so ironic - the music started getting bad and people drunk which is a queue for me to leave. Didn’t stay too long, flatmates +1 other friend decided to have an “afterparty” at our place and left 1am - eating the leftover chips and pepsi max at our place while watching New Girl.
Anyway, I still said no to the shots, and when two of the guys tried to roast/pressure me, my flatmate stepped in and said “no, she doesn’t drink”. Golden
Anyway, nobody otherwise even noticed that I was sober 🤷 I have traines myself to say no and to mean it, bur I did have a couple fleeting thoughts. Luckily all my friends know and support me.
Still sober!
#1 on the queue at psychiatric/addiction center for an ADHD evaluation. Shouldn’t be too long now 
Day 3 almost over. Church, breakfast w/ the lady and then afternoon pickup with the fellas. Felt good to connect on all of those levels
Hang in there bud
Great job!!
Day 129. Had a ok day, did my first attempt at a cover up. Boy talk about stressful, but I noticed something with myself my mind wasn’t hurting as much it felt natural and the shading and coloring was just flowing and at I felt so at peace and in love with myself. The client absolutely loved it and I was super proud as well much love
Proud of you Jenna! I hear you, those thoughts are distrubing but I am grateful for them most times, good reminder that I am never “better”.
Sunday Eve Check-in
2 years 7 weeks.
Seeing that 2 for the years never gets old. Unlike me. I got my first senior citizen discount 
at the Grand Canyon Deer Ranch this afternoon. I’m officially a sober old fuck. Better than a drunk one I guess.
Keep fighting the good fight. I’m proud of all you youngsters.
This shit is hard @anon42928441 I’m glad you’re right back here owning it. Just for today. We are all here for you 
Checking in another sober day ! 1 month 5 days so far 
