Awww man… A year ago today I got the call that my son was dead. I love and miss him so much. Lots of nightmares last night, horrible ones but I’m still clean and sober and it’s day 625 today. Thank you for all of the love and strength I love you guys 
Thinking of you today bro 
Checking in
Day13
Having a decent morning but an emotional one that’s for sure. Not quite sure how it came about.
I’m coming up to 2 weeks clean tonight and I’m beyond grateful! I was having a shower getting ready for the day and I just started bawling… like out of no where really 
I am blessed for where I’m at and so thankful to God. Yet I have this fear in me. I am scared of relapse. Apart of me is so used to measing up that im almost expecting a relapse. Now granted, I realize this is distorted thinking and self sabotaging type thinking. I wont feed into it, but that little tiny thot is there. I honestly dont know if i do have another recovery in me. Its weird… for 22 years I would relapse constantly. And i always knew back then that I had another chance at getting clean. But all of 2021 and the 2 or 3 slips Ive had in 2022 has me very concerned, ill be honest. I can recall one night where I was VERY close to mentally snapping. And my heart the past few relapses concerned me as I was worried about heart attack. I honestly dont know of i could handle another relpase. And in a sense that fear thats in me has been another motivator for me to stay clean. I was begging God to just plz remove this obsession from me. And fighting is hard. When I let go, when I surrender and admit powerlessness over my addictions (and people, places, and things, and situations), I get this sense of peace. When I fight I’m only hurting myself quite honestly. And I’m SO damn used to fighting. I give up. But I’m giving up in a good sense. Fighting to me means to struggle. I’m not fighting my addiction anymore. This doesnt mean that I’m giving up… im still going strong at recovery, but I’m not fighting. I’m tired of it. And for the longest time I thought “fighting” was a good thing. Anyway TS fam, that’s where I’m at today. Complete and ultimate surrender. Complete powerlessness. Much love
I’m wrapping you up in warm, calming love today, Rob. Since I’ve been here and learned of Corey, you’ve been a miracle to me. You are proof that no matter what, life goes on. Seeing how you honor your son by showing up every single day is beyond inspiring. I love your beautiful soul, and I’m so glad you are here.
Reaching my week feels different this time around. I feel prepared this time. I am making conscious steps to keeping my sobriety and really coming to terms with how much I have lost from drinking. I am ready to live a sober life. Day 7 AF 
Congratulations ! 
Thank you 
I’m so proud of you. Watching you grow in sobriety is a beautiful thing. Keep on keeping on. 
Absolutely and I’m ready
Thank you! This means so much to me
With this you will get through your day Dana. Some fear of your addict is healthy i think, I fear mine too. We would be stupid not to.
Hey guys.
Checking in day 34. Had some temptation to watch p*rn today. It was not an urge but just some random thoughts.
@CATMANCAM Hey. Sorry to know that you are suffering. Sending strength.
And congrats on 1 month. Thats shows that you are dedicated to be free. Keep doing the work. You are strong.
Ur right! And thank u so much for mentioning this. It would be very silly to not have alittle fear of our addictions. Addiction is soo sneaky that we do need to be vigilant and on our toes abit 
thank u for mentioning this 
Day 136, idk I had some stuff I wanted to say but I kind of forgot what it was. It’s wild you all really are the ones I open up to the way I do, I feel so comfortable around you all and I don’t even know you. But we just all have the one thing in common and it’s always nice to see many relate and truly care… I did get some good news Friday that me and my girls are covered on insurance again so that feels good, and I know I say I’m against it but I think I’m going to look into something for my ADHD again, if I have a more clear head maybe I’ll be able to help autumn out better. Both my girls are very much like me, but autumn is literally the spitting image thinking and mind wise I need to make sure she is safe and comfortable so she has a beautiful future. I’m tired man, tired if my mind never calming down always being on edge and never just enjoying life. I have a tattoo coming in a few super excited and nervous about that. I’ll rock it tho I know I will 
. Much love
Your strength is amazing and inspirational. Much love 
Thinking of you today
Awe thank u! What u wrote made me feel some relief. I really appreciate ur post I’m going to remember what u said and keep that Bible passage close. Thank you SO much for your words of encouragement 
I liked that, to help yourself with your adhd so you can help your daugther better with her’s.
Love and hugs 625 days sober while enduring so much heartache and pain. May you feel the love and strength come flowing to you from my heart to yours.
