Yeeesss….! 
can’t wait to give it a listen.
I worked at a hotel many tears ago and he was supposed to stay one night after a show. I stayed 3 hours past my shift and he never showed up 
Evening everyone, checking in before I fall asleep. Crazy day trying to get everything done before my leave. Got distracted at the end and forgot my out of office 
Annoying as can’t wind down properly now. Think I will nip in tomorrow (on my birthday!) as otherwise I won’t relax. Luckily I work in a nice city so can make a morning of it.
Just hit 54 days. Feeling really good. Hope everyone is having a good day.
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Day 27
There is one patient who loves to bring us cute gifts for Easter or Christmas.
Today everyone of us got a bag with eggs, chocolate, a candle and eggnog.
I’ll grab my bag tomorrow. Sadly nobody wants my eggnog and I have no one I could give it so I’ll throw it away. I have no choice. I made a promise to myself that no alcohol comes into my apartment. No discussion.
A second thing that is concerning is that my city is going to stop counting Covid Cases. Numbers will fall immediately although ppl don’t have to wear masks any more. We’ve reached a point where Doctor’s offices had to close bc everyone has Covid.
I’ll keep on taking care of me as good as I can in this crazy situation.
I hope you’re having a beautiful sober day team 
See you tomorrow.
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That’s very reassuring. Thank you
Tonight will be a month clean. I want to be proud of the milestone but considering I was nearly a year clean before it just feels humiliating.
I cleaned about 80% of my room but passed out in the process. I pushed myself too much. No food or water in my system and I haven’t done anything remotely physical in a very long time. I’m okay, I just need to figure out how to build some stamina back up. I’m going to finish my room tomorrow.
Not feeling great today, but that’s mostly because of my physical health. Realizing how weak I am always makes me really depressed. I know I can improve, I just haven’t figured out how to force myself to yet. I hope you all are doing well.
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Checking in
Day45
Its been a really good day. Then came a damn cheque in the mail for $500 to my hubby for his birthday in April from his sweet grandmother. The wheels begin turning 
Like really? I thought this trigger issue with money was done. It seems like my urges to use have been more frequent lately. Warrior mode on day in and day out. Like really. I don’t even wait now to see if they will go away on their own like I used to. I go straight to my spiritual/recovery Toolkit. The thought of using pops up… I think of why I quit, I think of my inner child who I would be hurting, I re-live the shame and guilt, I remind myself that it could be my last moments here on earth if something awful happened. This is serious business getting clean. I stop and pause and no matter what I do not use! Seriously told my addiction to F OFF out loud at home lmao. It does get easier, but only if I stick it out.
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Day 26. Tired. Angry. Didnt get what i wanted to done on my room but ive stayed sober made tea and did something rather than nothing.
After conversation with my boss today I pretty much cant use cbd for fear of a drug test. It was really helping and i wasnt overdoing it. May get a doctors note if possible. Frustrating bc i would love to take a cbd melatonin gummy rn. But i bit my tongue and will be in steady employment until i can finally quit.
Waiting for tea to cool. Drove today and might plan an expedition to a neighboring town to see what thats like this weekend. Go for a hike.
Read more of my novel and tried to get started on nonfiction. This novel is pensive and makes me personally sad. Should probably post more in the reading thread. Still spent hours scrolling…through here and other apps. Ugh. Hate to scroll like this! My eyes and hands hate it!
But succeeded in parboiling potatoes, sweeping the floor, and ill try to do a few more things before i sleep soon.
Broke. Sad. Lonely. Trying to be a person id be friends with. Will reevaluate in 90 days.
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Checking in 26 days sober !
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Almost 17 days!
Not having physical cravings at all, just stress and boredom cravings! 
Packing for a move is such a hassle. Seeing all my pretty stuff go into boxes wah! Oh well, new beginnings hand in hand~
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You can look at it as a year and a month in recovery! Relapses happen but do not erase the year you spent clean and working hard!
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Day 610
My work week is draagggging and I am tired. Everybody is being heckin sassy today. It is making me cranky. Aiming for an early bedtime once I’m off work in ~an hour, a nice cup of tea, and early wake up tomorrow for yoga and a long bike ride on the trainer. Sending love to you all!
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Keep going Dana. You can do it! It gets easier to stay clean if you stay clean. It gets easier to relapse if you keep relapsing. Sadly I’m on day one again. Not last night but the night before…ughh. I didn’t post because I feel like such a failure. It’s a slippery slope if you start sliding. Hang on and don’t let go❤️
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I’m trying to remind myself that I didn’t lose all my progress when I relapsed. I have tools now.
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Hey lady, I’m glad ur still here. I know it’s hard to not he hard on ourselves, but truly it’s okay to post no matter what happens. Do u know what’s going on for u that’s causing these slips?
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I am thankful you are here on day 1 and not somewhere else still on day 0. You are not a failure because you are here still trying and working for this! 
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It’s exhaustion. Plus, the other night I was hungry, which is often my other trigger. When I said I was hungry, my husband said, “didn’t you just eat?”… He didn’t mean it in a bad way… The thing is I had eaten three hours earlier. Plain yogurt, hemp seeds, flax and blueberries. So yes, I was hungry. But I let his comment affect me. So I postponed eating and drank instead…I mean writing that down sounds so dumb, but that’s what happened. I just need to remind myself to listen to my body and be there for myself. I worry too much about what other people think. I told my husband how I felt about his comment. He totally apologized. I mean, I also don’t think most people would be affected by that. I think it’s my old eating disorder brain.
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Thank you so much. I was going to try to wait to post until I made it at least day three, but I realize how much I need you guys. I’ve been feeling depressed all day. I finally feel better just connecting here. Thank you:heart:
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A little annoyed with work today, but hey, I am still employed. I don’t mind working from home, but it gets loud here with the kids, can’t concentrate on my calls. I’ve doing this for almost 4 years now. I wanna crack a can open and just chug that shit lol. But I won’t. Gonna go for another walk at the park, walk a few miles or whatever it takes.
Yall stay safe. Stay strong. Proud of yall.
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