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Coffee. One day of work followed by a real weekend. The cycling tour I had planned for tomorrow is off because it is snowing right now. That’s OK. I’ll think of something else to do.
I didn’t sleep well at all. Probably because I’m excited, the first application I sent in six years yesterday was answered within half an hour by a recruiter, than a couple of hours later by the manager of the place I applied for. I couldn’t answer as I was in therapy but we’ll try and call again today. The immediate positive reactions were really surprising for me, in the letter I told I’m in recovery, and I didn’t expect a positive reaction and certainly not that fast.
So tired but exited I am. As a friend on another thread just pointed out, how much better a feeling it is to feel exited instead of anxious. Anxiety my faithful companion for years of misery and substance abuse. Excitement a similar feeling to anxiety, yet at the same time the total opposite. Positive instead of negative. Uplifting instead of down putting. Giving energy instead of draining it.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean as it’s the only way for all of us to have a better life. I know I will. Love from Amsterdam.
Hi Miranda, hope you’re ok.
Would it help if you didn’t have any alcohol in the house? I don’t have any so that its more of an effort to have to drive to the shop and so I wouldn’t go.
You’re doing great reaching out. I always love reading your posts btw, you always know just what to say.
Take care
@anon9289869 congrats on noticing the progress you’re making with feeling the feelings @icebear congrats on the work success @SadMemeQueen sending prayers that your grandpa’s surgery and recovery all goes well congrats on your month @Mno I hope today was better Just woke up after falling asleep a few hours ago before finishing this post, absolutely delighted for you that you’ve had such an exciting response from your application, hoping you get to speak with someone today @DeadMist sending strength @PaigeTurner congrats on your blessings @Rockstar24777 pleased to hear the interview went well and congrats on the final result @ChristinaV congrats on 2 weeks and the benefits you’ve noticed @Eddieroots congrats on 30 days @Butterflymoonwoman yesterday you posted how you had to somehow find the money for your husband dental work…today a cheque comes!
598 days no alcohol.
63 days no cocaine.
The earlier part of the day was much the same as the days before. I ordered junk food at 2am yesterday morning, wishing there were no delivery places open that time of night seems just as futile as wishing bars didn’t open til the early hours and there weren’t 24hr off licences, so I need to be stronger. Nicotine remains the same, I feel genuinely determined to stop once these last few disposables run out which will be either later today or early tomorrow, so I’m preparing myself for the fatigue so it doesn’t come as a surprise again, reminding myself it should pass.
My friend who recently got out of prison, one of his Grandmas passed away earlier this week, he is struggling and has began having a few drinks per day again, he’s blowing under the limit for his place in the half-way hostel to remain secure, but he is on licence from prison and one of the conditions is to be abstinent from drugs including alcohol. So today, to take lift his mind from the heavy grief a bit, I took him out for a few hours to introduce him to the place in London that I love so much that I named myself after it when I started my transition. He fell in love with it too, and we had a really lovely time, a quick walk around, some Chinese food, and then made our way back to the train stations in plenty of time to catch our trains home. He only has 5hrs between his last sign in and his evening curfew at the hostel, so with all the travelling involved, we had less than 90mins in Camden itself, but it really was a great time. I hadn’t been there myself since 2017, so it was amazing to spend some time there again, where I always feel at home. My friend would like to go back and spend the weekend there towards the end of summer, so I suggested that he keeps that in mind to help him stay focused and not get recalled to prison to finish his sentence in there.
Morning all, so sorry to those having bad days @Minatasha@SadMemeQueen (hopefully by the time you read this it is a new and better day).
@Miranda I am sorry you had a slip. Don’t ever feel embarrassed to come here on Day 1. It is always nice to see you here, I always notice when you don’t post as you always show such kindness in your posts. Hope today is a good day.
@Mno congratulations! It sounds like you are about to embark on something really positive. I understand why you are surprised but you shouldn’t be. You would be a real asset and people should want to snap you up!
@CATMANCAM love that story, so pleased you were able to help your friend and get so much out of it yourself
Day 55 here, hooray! It is a beautifully sunny, if freezing cold day here. I have picked up from the other European’s posts how crazy the weather is here right now. We also had snow yesterday, such weird weather. Off out and about today for my birthday. I dreaded turning 40 and had only just about come to terms with that (major mid life crisis last year, not helped by the pandemic!) 41 seems like a gift today, pleased to be older, hopefully wiser. Certainly significantly healthier and happier than I was this day last year. The last 2 birthdays I was either seriously locked down and allowed a 30 minute walk (39) or able to be in a group of 6 people outside (40). This year I will be able to eat cake indoors, phew as it is freezing
I can’t remember where I first heard it now but there absolutely is a thing about being able to change anxiety into excitement. Just gotta tell yourself. Preferably out loud. Bonus points if smiling at yourself in a mirror. It’s weird but it works!
Day 117 check in next week 4 months sober then it’s on to 5 months life is good right now can’t complain I got the best family and friends which to me is one in the same and this awesome sober community where I get to check in and see everyone kill it everyday so to everyone much success in your sobriety and in life. Peace, Take Care and Stay Safe. One!
I think if it is about a very specific event or activity (I came across it in relation to public speaking) it might be different from life in general. I don’t know, I have struggled with anxiety but found this a good hack for taking the edge off before an important talk!
Checking in on day 30.
My daughter’s eye test showed nothing that can be causing her headaches, but she has a follow up appointment in 10 days to check one last thing. It’s just pain relief and rest for now, and hopefully it will clear up by itself. She’s not letting it get her down, so that’s great.
The old friend that’s been back in touch sent another email to say he wasn’t justifying his drinking, and then spent 3 paragraphs doing exactly that. I’ve realised that it’s a waste of my energy trying to explain my point of view. I’m not going to reply to him anymore.
I updated my screensaver to the serenity prayer this morning.
Overall I’m feeling comfortable with being sober at the moment. Long may that feeling last!
Checking in on day 48 sober.
It’s friday. 1 more work day and then my chill mode is on. Gonna enjoy my weekend as good as I can.
Sober!
The way I need to live my life.
All out of the sudden it started snowing in our country. Something which can be quiet fun from time to time. But for me it really isnt. I started my own online barbecue store 8 months ago and that is obviously very weather reliant which is okey. But sometimes when the weather turns around it really makes me feel down like never before.
Weather has been a big influence on me in the past also anyway, so i guess just something i have to cooperate with.
On the other hand, finished my step 4 from the NA program. Going to go through it with my sponsor on friday. Although it was very confronting, it brought me massive insights about my character flaws and me as a person.
Just to add to that. The thing i currently still struggle with the most, is that the world us humans have created is really miles away from what it should be i feel. If i follow these worldly things without trying to stay close to myself i will lose myself again. i can sometimes just feel myself slipping away. Its a pity it has become such an ugly place.
On a sidenote, i am very very gratefull that i get the insights and strength from my higher power. And that i dont have to pickup the drugs ever again to live!
If everything goes according to plan i am also becoming a father for the first time in my life. My beautfull wife is due in 4 weeks time. Gifts of sobriety they call it. Im over the moon!
Anyway, im planning to stick to the program and forum. It brought me so much and i thank you all for that.
Just woke up after falling asleep a few hours ago before finishing this post, absolutely delighted for you that you’ve had such an exciting response from your application, hoping you get to speak with someone today 
