Checking in daily to maintain focus #40

About to hit 90 days… spoke to my sponsor and proceeding with steps next week… (she’s been very busy so I haven’t done too much without her to make sure I have support whilst writing this step)

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Hey all… checking in. TGIF. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Wow…Friday nights use to be exciting so I could binge ony DOC and then end up miserable and sleeping the rest of the weekend. I’m so thankful I’m clean now and don’t even have the desire to use any substance.

The Just for today struck me. Will re read and note my thoughts in my journal.

Serene 24 all
:purple_heart::pray:t4:

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Happy birthday @JennyH and day 55!!

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That sounds like a beautiful day and so wonderful that you were there to be supportive of your friend in their grief!

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Day 134

Just checking in…sober and thankful for you all. Have a great day everyone.

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Hey all, checking in on day 656. I hope everybody has a good one!

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Day 169. Day 4 I think no pre work out. Obviously not sure what to think about these new meds, I took them right away yesterday when they got here, I am very aware of any sort of weird feelings in my body and could feel them and feel them working up into my mind I could feel my mind like pushing back it felt like the medicine wanted to unlock part of my brain and it didn’t want it lol don’t know how to describe that. But passed out at 9 with the girls they took a bath, and then we laid down and listen to some children meditation. Which was fun. This morning went good we game down a bit earlier. And then me and autumn went out and played a little bit and I taught her how to get bit trucks to honk at you. We had a couple honks and probably a couple unhappy neighbors :joy: much love

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1 year 6 months 11 days, isn’t life wonderful.
Still full of things that can do your head in but having your head done in and having the power of choice to not pick up is always a blessing.

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@Deelzebub I’m glad your daughter isn’t letting the headaches get her down. I hope you’re able to figure out what’s causing it. I had chronic headaches/migraines for a few years in my childhood that they could never figure out the cause of and I ended up missing a lot of school.
CONGRATS ON YOUR 30 DAYS!! :partying_face:

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Checking in Day 87 :blush: hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!

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@CATMANCAM You are such a good friend :slight_smile: I’m aure he really appreciated something so positive and felt very comforted knowing he had such an amazing friend. And ur right about the cheque. Things are always provided for one way or the other. It’s amazing what recovery does
@anon53116147 Do they seem like they are helping? It sounds like they are doing something. What are hoping for these meds to do for you? Increase mood or help with focus? I really hope they help!
@Deelzebub Great job on 30 days! Amazing work!!!
@Miranda I’m proud of you for honoring and standing up for urself and expressing to ur hubby how that comment felt. The reasons we drink or use may sound silly but at the time they are very real reasons in our eyes. It’s natural for us to go to what we believe comforts us. And drinking/drugging is what we have gone to for so many years. It’s just finding out what healthier coping skills works for you. Initally it is hard to try something new. But once u find, it will start to become 2nd nature. I’m saying this bcuz I don’t want u to feel discouraged or that u cant get recovery. When I kept relapsing and relapsing, I literally began to feel like i was on of those people who just weren’t going to get it. I don’t want u to feel this way :frowning: I have complete faith that u will get this!!! It’s just getting ur mind to think of trying something new that will help instead of alcohol. Even coming on here before u want to pick up so others can help to break that natural thinking pattern. U CAN do this girl! hugs

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Checking in
Day46
Another beauuuuutiful day! Sun is shining, I’m feeling good! Heading out to do some running around very soon. Noting really else going on. Grateful to be clean and sober today!!!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day :butterfly:

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Kat here checking in Day 240

Good in-person meeting last night but I was very tired so didn’t share. Happily enough there was coffee available for the first time in 2 years!

Off work on the weekend but have my 3 younger boys age 13, 12, and 8. Hopefully soon can move to a bigger place where it will be less crowded. Put my notice in at current apartment for May 31 so the hunt is on for new place.

Life is good, hope everyone has a good sober Friday!

Love Kat

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Day 44. Insomnia kicked me in the guts, but no anxiety. Blood sugar is OK, planned stuff is OK, had a Klonopin to have a nap after lunch. Not much work today, so I’ll take it as “how to deal with insomnia now - a crash course”. Then I’ll try to fix my sink - if I screw up, there’s a plumber coming by on Tuesday, so nothing to worry too much about.

At different times I’d have had one too many nightcaps and right now would be hungover, tired and trembling.

I’m better now.

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Day 28, almost one month :partying_face:
Life feels like a hurricane right now and I want to get lost in it. But this other voice inside me says “Stay calm, focus on the good things, you’re safe” :heart:
Munching some soul food now and start my cozy Friday.
No boredom, no cravings. This is good :relieved:
Have a beautiful sober day team :heart:

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Yes definitely! I thought I had actually (other than that the beer my husband drinks which I honestly won’t drink). Unfortunately I decided to root around and search the back of the cupboard where I know sometimes there’s the odd bottle of wine my husband gets given to him at work. I found tequila. I have dumped the rest of it out. I have told my husband I can’t have any alcohol around. We are having his parents over for dinner on Saturday. His dad drinks beer, which isn’t a big deal. It can make me think of drinking but I definitely don’t want beer. His mom usually drinks white wine though and that I will drink. I don’t want to tell them what’s going on. I know I should but it’s a long story and I’m not ready yet. Not really sure what to do. I was thinking of buying non-alcoholic white wine and just saying I accidentally bought that instead. That’s not very honest but I just don’t know what else to do.

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Maybe you have indigestion issues and you need to watch your intake of everything?? :woman_shrugging: :wink:

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Thanks Dana. I’m not sure yet, to early to tell i geuss but my mood so far seems a little better. Yes I ordered two things both have all natural ingredients, one is called alpha brain and the other is a just a extract for mood balance behavior. With my ADHD the chatter in my brain is so crazy sometimes I can’t read or interpret anything or like someone can talk to me over and over and I’ll be looking right at them but not hear and damn thing they said, and some days it’s so loud it literally paralyzes me and I can’t move I’ll just sleep all day bc it’s so loud it’s the only thing that keep it’s quiet and I’m not like talking voices but just negative self talk and idk my brain feels heavy and can’t think. And with my girls it causes alot of irritability bc they are being kids and my mind can’t take all the noise. Kind of hard to describe but these are supposed to help with that and focus. It seems to be helping with my sister’s tattoo drawing which is cool

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Checking in day 12
The cravings are super strong today, even starting at like 8:30am. Cause normally I’d be thinking about what is the acceptable time to start drinking and checking my stock supply to see if I need to run to the store - which was always a yes, I need more.
My husband is home from work today which is also triggering. We got into a huge fight this morning about some pills I found. He claims they’re nicotine and CBD pills, but they were wrapped in a napkin, and the other was in the plastic from a cigarette pack. I of course got gaslighted about “finding” the pills. I just need him out of my house!! Another long 6 months until I can officially file for divorce :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::rage::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:
Finding the will power diminished.
Need an activity this afternoon after work to keep me busy.

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Day 594 :four_leaf_clover:

Have a nice and Sober Friday to everyone
:revolving_hearts::v::sun_with_face:

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