1029
Coffee. Weekend. The sun is back out but it’s cold and windy. Might take a little walk in town. And do some chores at home. Nothing special. Sober and clean. That’s the norm now for me but it’s still special. One day at a time.
I talked to the manager of the place I applied to work for (a clinical detox facility, mainly for alcohol) on the phone, and will be invited for an interview in the next two weeks. Feeling good about that.
Just a little bit of stress now. I planned a little holiday trip in 2 weeks time, first one in 2.5 years, but KLM cancelled both flights last night. Trying to reach them now but it seems I’m not the only one as I’m disconnected because the queue’s too long. Hm. Well, will see.
Anyway, have as good a weekend as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean as it is the only way to have a good life for all of us. I will. Love from Amsterdam.
Today is Autism World Awareness Day. Never really knew it even existed, but apparently we even have an Autism Pride day incl a dedicated Pride Flag. The color gold is used, because it’s chemist symbol is Au.
But while I don’t really care whether the world of “normies” will ever start to understand how our minds work, or even start to understand it’s not a disability, I do love the fact that the entire month of April is used to share experiences and knowledge amongst autists themselves.
Early visit to the hospital this morning revealed no fracture in the foot. Diagnosis was plantar fasciitis. Bloody painful. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Picked up my son’s jhs uniform. I can’t believe how expensive it is, around 350 us dollars for the cheapest polyester version, nearer 500 if u want natural material, 13 dollars for slippers that would be a ripoff in the dollar store. Some ceo with a government contract is getting rich because u have to buy them. We are a double income family, we can afford it, for some working poor or single parents it must be such a burden.
Anyway, my daughter had a swimming lesson so I took my son in the public part during her class. The pool is a decent bike ride away, so all in all a good exercise.
They are taking forever reintroducing them, Amsterdam - Vienna and Amsterdam - Prague. Right now all I could do was normal trains via Berlin. Too much hassle.
Ugh I’m really sorry! It’s super painful! I had it when I was pregnant and walking all the time. Luckily you can fix it, but take the time to be kind to yourself
End of day 2. Bedtime.
Going on social and did have a little fomo as I see all birthdays, weddings etc, and feel a little left out but reminding myself that I need to give myself a break and work on myself, my health and goals.
So cheers day 2 done.
Checking in on day 31.
I’m having a rare moment to myself as the kids have just headed out to a birthday party for the afternoon. I’ve had my daughter at home for the past two weeks, so this afternoon I’m going to relax. I’ve bought something nice for dinner and an AF beer to have later.
Last night after the kids were in bed I started watching an episode of the programme I’ve been watching on Netflix but I realised I wasn’t feeling that great. I think I was overtired and felt a bit sick, as if I’d eaten too much. I ended up going to bed early instead.
Now that I’ve checked in here I’m going to lie on my acupressure mat and listen to a meditation soundtrack for a bit. Then I’ll decide whether any tidying gets done before I make dinner.
I had the same issue with my right foot. I went to a Podiatrist and got a shot which helped. More importantly, I did Physical Therapy and now I wear inserts. The insets are Orange brand.
@JennyH thank you (belated now) Happy Birthday! congrats on getting through the craving enjoy your holiday @Deelzebub congrats on 30 days sympathies for your daughter and I really hope they don’t persist, either that or a solution can be found that helps her @Hazy congrats on 90 days @Seb that’s what I have in both of my feet, since August 2020 I hope yours heals, perhaps get some physio arranged sooner rather than later inserts on top of gel heel pads can ease the discomfort a tiny bit, some people fair well with a steroid injection, theres also electric shock-wave therapy if all else fails, though mine has been resistant to any medical treatments.
599 days no alcohol.
64 days no cocaine.
Checking in for yesterday as I’ve just realised I must have fallen asleep before finishing it last night.
Pains galore from the trip out Thursday evening. It was worth it though.
Therapy was hard but good.
2 back-to-back viewings today, the first one has just left so my heart is pounding with anxiety! I managed to get the cleaning done, it’s so much easier to do it since I’ve had to keep doing it regularly, but my body still spasms and burns like its on fire, even when I only spend an hour doing it and not 4 days. Nevermind though. Taking some deep breaths while I wait for the next ones to turn up. They are both investors so I’m really hoping one of them will make an offer
Checking in Day47
I woke up clean and sober but it certainly didnt feel like it. I was craving so bad and my emotional state was not great last night that I woke up feeling like I had done something wrong. I hadn’t and I had to reassure myself that I hadn’t. I cried to my HP this morning bcuz the gratitude I had for my HP for guiding me and giving me thr strength to stay clean, was nothing I had ever experienced up until this point. I learned today that my HP talks to me thru my heart. This makes sense. The battle btwn my head (addiction and worldly things) n my heart (my HP). I prayed this morning, reflected, and listened to some good empowering music. Addiction makes me feel weak inside and my HP gives SOOO much strength. I forget who I am sometimes (in the sense of having that HP in my life and that it gives me strength!). Today will be a good day. Appreciating every moment and giving thanks for the beautiful life that Im fighting for. I am so grateful for being able to enjoy the sound of the birds this morning, instead of despising it.
Change and transformation (which is the meaning behind the butterfly) begins with the 1st step… and then another and another. Love u all TS fam!
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. Will be meeting up with a TS member too 
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(belated now) Happy Birthday! 
congrats on getting through the craving 
enjoy your holiday 
I hope yours heals, perhaps get some physio arranged sooner rather than later 
I managed to get the cleaning done, it’s so much easier to do it since I’ve had to keep doing it regularly, but my body still spasms and burns like its on fire, even when I only spend an hour doing it and not 4 days. Nevermind though. Taking some deep breaths while I wait for the next ones to turn up. They are both investors so I’m really hoping one of them will make an offer 