Checking in on day 282. Today was a beautiful spring day and the air is warming, the snows are melting and the rivers and lakes are starting to thaw. I went on a nice walk with the family and even managed a cheeky nap this afternoon.
Congratulations on the big 90 @Pica!
6 months is amazing, way to go @paper_boats! And thanks for the lovely share.
Awesome numbers @C_8! What an inspiration!
Hey Mike @anon53116147 the tats look seriously good, man. I really like that mandala.
Day 19 of no self harm
Just spending today recovering from a busy Saturday. Really exhausted. I ate a full meal for dinner. Talked to my friend group for about a half hour or so. Wasnāt long, but I wanted to at least get some healthy socialization today. feeling numb today
Iāve always liked to party first and read things later. You are no exception. I just read everything you wrote and Iām literally sitting in a plane to Cali balling my eyes out. You are again, so kind and amazing. Your thoughts hit me right in my heart. You and your heart Are going far. Good luck with your daughter.
#fuckaddiction and anyone that gets in our way of sobriety.
We got your back.
Donāt trip. It was a good read.
Congrats on 6 months.
Thatās the longest Iāve ever gone. Iām on day 155.
Iām starting to get a little worried. Prolly because Iāve never made it past 6 months.
These are fantastic!!! Love the color too!
There have been times in my life that have stolen a part of my soul - abandonment, neglect, betrayal, sexual assaults, substance abuse, heartbreak, loss, life-impacting health issues, mental health challenges - each one dimmed that sparkle inside of me little by little until I felt like I was simply existing in life. Putting on a mask to show the world and my loved ones. I had to muster every ounce of energy I had, to display self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-love. It was exhausting because it wasnāt coming from an authentic place. I tried for so long but I couldnāt. Until now. Iām 3 years and (almost) 6 months sober and counting which was one of the biggest and most transformative moments of my life. And this year Iāve doubled down with other aspects of my life and my health. I reached a point this year where I no longer was comfortable being uncomfortable. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had simply accepted that things were the way they were and I was never going to be able to be in a position where I could change them. But something was in alignment this year. Iāve made decisions for myself in the past few weeks that will change the course of my life in ways that I never imagined. The confidence I finally feel within myself shines. I find myself smiling for no particular reason (and smiling more genuinely than I have in a very long time). Iām laughing more freely. Iāve found myself again. I finally found the girl inside me who I thought would never truly come back - whose eyes sparkle, who bounces when she walks, who feels confident and sexy in her skin, and who speaks her mind. I am rediscovering aspects of myself that I thought were long gone and it feels incredible. 
Hope everyone is kicking ass and staying strong
Checking in
Day34
Having a really nice evening honestly. Work was okay but abit stressful. Nothing serious tho. Went and picked up groceries and had soft tacos for supper. Now just relaxing. I did have a craving to use again after work. Iām seeing a pattern here. So I was sort of prepared for it bcuz I knew my triggers. I never mention my urges to use to my hubby as that is asking for a possible relapse. Almost every time in the past, when Iād mention to him about using, he would cave and then it was almost like my brain told me that I then had a reason to use. Heās been doing well not bringing it up tho. And for awhile now I know not to bring it up either. Itās honestly better if we donāt talk about using. We each do our thing to manage our urges when they come up. So far so good anyway. Gonna do a meditation I think and relax 
Hope everyone has an addiction free night/day!
Love this sooo much! Really so very proud of you and happy for you! I know exactly what the feels to lose that sparkle. Iām 34 days clean and Iām starting to see little bits of it. I have hope and I have faith. God is doing for me what I could absolutely not do for myself. Proud of you!!! Thank u so much for sharing.
I love that. . One day at a time!
Hope you have a relaxing meditation session! Itās great that you have identified triggers, I think sometimes that is half the battle for some. For me, everything seemed to be a triggerā¦ bad day at work, watching a movie, drinks at dinner, stressed out from family, hard day in the yardā¦ you name it. I had to start replacing my usual go to (alcohol) with other things and meditation was one thing that really helped me relax.
I loved every word. So touching, so true.
That was beautiful! Had be in tears and it really touched home, thank you for sharing.
It truly does help! I remember about 10 yrs or so ago in a womens drug treatment centre back home that I was in, they would sort of āencourageā us to meditate and sit still. I couldnāt even sit quiet in my own mind for 2ā¦ maybe 3 min at most, before bawling. There was just such pain. Meditation was something that brought uncomfortablity in me. I didnāt like it. I didnāt see how it did anything for me. Now I can do guided meditations and at most 5 min comfortably in silence. Itās amazing! I wish I wouldāve gave it more of a try back then. Just like u itās sort of my go to now 
2nd time in my life I have ever got this far. Knowing I wasnāt safe before keeps me sober for one more day. Never take a day for granted it could well be the last day you are ever sober.
Day 44ā¦
Still sober and trying to progress one day at a time. 
One of the biggest hurdles for me right now is probably overcoming social anxiety, which my addictions both caused and distracted me from.
Learning to manifest my own mindful reality instead of depending on external factors to dictate my positive or negative headspaceā¦
Hope you have a good day whoever and wherever you are in the world right now friend! 
@HillbillyChris congrats on 7 months 
@Chmixon it sounds like you know what you need to do now 
@Miranda thank you 
@anon53116147 Well done for doing all the cleaning and organising.and reframing your thinking, I know how hard it is 
the tattoos look great, nice work 
@anon42928441 congrats on 4 weeks
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you
@MeSober congrats on 3 weeks
@Lotusflower congrats on 4months and the recognition from family
@Skweeeot welcome 
congrats on 3 days I hope it went well with your family
@Wakikki congrats on 80 days
@Deep congrats on your week
@Axsis congrats on 900+ days.
@shilohRica congrats on 80 days sorry about the dreams 
@Pica congrats on 90 days
@paper_boats great post congrats on 6 months I love everything you have given yourself by choosing sobriety 
wishing you well for the court stuff 
@Dolse71 congrats on 18 months
587 days no alcohol.
52 days no cocaine.
29 days binge-eating.
Tried to check-in again before bed but fell asleep after finally managing to make myself meditate early in the evening, woke around 9pm, had dinner took my meds, then tried again, fell asleep again, so here I am at now 4am, finally doing my check-in for yesterday.
These cravings for the foods my addict wants to binge feel like they are not going to go away until Iāve eaten what he wants to eat, itās so draining, but I canāt give in, Iād for sure feel even worse if I did.
I am on the last day of 3mg nicotine before I start on 0mg vape liquid, kinda dreading it, my addict has already been behaving in ways that are not good for me this weekend, need to refocus.
Today I plan to meditate more and to do some reading like I was intending to do all weekend but didnāt.
I love the cool and quiet stillness of early mornings while itās still dark outside, hoping to get a little more sleep now.
I hope youāve all had wonderful sober weekends
Well done!
Congrats on your 6 full months of sobriety.
HALF A FRICKEN YEEEEEEEEAR!!!
Wooohooooo Pauly!!!
Way to go!!!
2 weeks ago I had my last drink. I feel great. Tomorrow my sister in law is picking 2 kids up to take them to a movie which is a miracle in itself. Sheās never tried to have a relationship with them. It will give me a chance to get the whole house clean with 2 gone.
