6 months.
Sobriety, my dear friend.
You’ve allowed me to love myself, something I’ve never been capable of properly doing.
You’ve also allowed me to feel pain beyond what I had ever imagined.
You allow me to keep my head on my shoulders wherein if I were intoxicated, I’d be trying to find new ways to remove it.
You’ve granted me health and a fortified soul.
You’ve given me my life back after all I wanted to do was throw it passed the point of no return.
You gave me the strength to survive, to breathe, to tough it through, day after day.
The fog takes time to lift but it surely did and I am the best me ever.
I would’ve never gotten that from an external force or via substance abuse.
I would’ve never gotten the best me ever.
I had to lose it all to gain you and thats okay, because I would’ve never gained you otherwise.
Never did I ever think I could have you as much as I wanted you, I was wrong.
I have you and you’re the most sweetest victory I have ever tasted, mainly because I’m able to actually stop and smell the roses instead of panicking over when my next justifiable excuse to drink will be.
You’ve given me the gift of life, not only because I was actively trying to literally kill myself(or at risk of seizure when using) but you have given me the rest of my life going forward as well the future memories that wont be forgotten due to blackouts.
I wasted the majority of my life being a slave to drugs or a bottle, quitting drugs and unhealthy coping mechanism of excessive sex at 18 only to replace it with 14 years of binging alcohol is still a fucking waste of time.
I lost those years of my life, I cannot get them back. But I am lucky that I stopped when I did.
Sobriety, I love you, my mother loves you and so does my beautiful daughter.(even though she doesn’t know what you are)
Sobriety, You’ve changed so much for the better.
You are what I want the rest of my life to be.
Regardless of whatever external forces may do to impact my life be they wholesome or debilitating.
Not only do I need you, I WANT you.
Thank you, my friend.
Life always has something to throw at me to again test me. I am again in a battle for custody over my daughter despite being her primary parent and though I haven’t always been the best parent, I know that I am the best now. Dealing with lawyers and court is the least bit fun, it is grueling and god knows how badly I’ve wanted to pick up a drink but i refrain knowing it will just make everything worse, especially since my sobriety/alcoholism will no doubt come into question.
I am no longer the manic wreck when I first arrived here. I am no longer that perpetually sad and destroyed individual. I am no longer seemingly infinitely lost.
I am finally me, and not just that but the best version of me to date, and I can genuinely say that I love myself for the first time ever.
Getting sober has been no easy task, I lost count from how many times I tried before this current streak.
Born to a mother who would be abandoned by her alcoholic husband to raise 7 children alone, myself being the youngest.
Mom needed to work a ton to be able to afford everything alone so she basically was never there.
Raised by addicts in an abusive household, traumatized by means of torture, excessive violence, sexual assault and molestation, I naturally turned to substances/alcohol the first chance I got. With that, i found a life long love of escape and hiding.
Having had to seperate from my partner and leave my family’s home back to my moms close to my addicted family while maintaining sobriety is easier said than done, but I did it.
All while heartbroken and lost and destroyed, I did it.
I did it for myself, i did it for my future, I did it for my daughter.
And am glad that by the start of summer, my daughter and I will be far away from here, closer to my former home, (godwilling what with the current custody issue) hours away from here.
I did go to my show yesterday and had a great time, there was alcohol being served but they were strict about it and there was no drinking/eating on the theater floor so that was nice.
I always thought it would be strange to go out completely alone but it was pretty relieving, made me feel alive, although non existent, which isn’t a bad thing.
Life will always be life.
To this community,
Thank you for all of your support, all of your love, all of your sharing and your resilience to addiction and trauma together.
I have been coming out of my shell a bit in recent times, more than before when I was still under my partner’s stranglehold. Not allowing me to make connections or contacts or friendships with the outside world. (It was to the point where I was even scared to like posts)
(I am my own person, whether she likes it or not. I am allowed to have friends, I am allowed to have SUPPORT.
I am allowed to be my own person.)
Thank you all for your patience and friendship.
Everyone being so genuinely kind and supportive of each other is not something I’ve had the luxury of finding anywhere else, just here.
This place is amazing, it’s fantastic and it’s home.
And thank you for the laughs, those that frequent the meme area here. I loooove memes, they are therapeutic. I also understand that not everyone has the same sense of humor that I do so sorry, not sorry.
I just try to abide by posting rules as close as i can 
@Dazercat
Thank you for your kindness, thank you for everything.
Thank you for showing me that not every day will be great, that its more than enough for a day to just be a day, being sober through it is all that counts.
Also, thanks for the laughs!
Oh and you like christopher walken and the office and they’re like the best 
There are so many different walks of life and personalities and backgrounds, everyone is unique, and everyone is so fucking supportive and respectful and caring of one another 
FUCK ADDICTION.
We can all do this.
To the love of my life, my best friend, my biggest crush,
There isn’t anything I haven’t already said before.
I am sorry for everything that was me in the past.
I gave you all of me, more than I ever gave to anyone and it wasn’t enough(for you).
I wish I hadn’t been a slave to addiction or so lost as a person. I wish things could’ve been different. I wish you weren’t destroyed and mutated by this addiction into being someone who you were not, this hateful, controlling person isn’t you.
My heart will always be yours.
My soul, however, belongs to me.
For me, I am enough.
I love you and I miss you and I want you and I always will.
You will always be my favorite human.(besides my daughter)
I hope you are okay.
I hope you are sober.
