Checking in Day 15-
Great day today. Woke up with major anxiety, but I was able to process the feelings and I exercised through going on a long power walk. I spoke with a colleague about a potential job and he will be passing on my CV to the hiring VP. I actually found out that I have made it to the 2nd round of interviews for a job with a state community college. This would be a pivot in my career, but could be fun! I have the interview tomorrow afternoon. Lastly, I did hear back from the recruiter about the opportunity in Tennessee. I should be getting the thumbs up for a final interview this week. Cross your fingers as this is the job I want.
I’m trying my hardest to not attribute my sense of worth to my career. I know that one should not be totally geared towards only defining oneself to their occupation. This time of transition is very challenging. I’m being challenged to trust my HP and focus on my sobriety.
Holy fuck Dana
I haven’t really had time to look around on the forum yet since my return. So this is a fan-fucking-tastic thing to see. I am incredibly proud of you you’re killing it
Stray kitten went to new home. I have some feelings of control (are they looking after her properly?) but it is out of my hands and I should let go. I am still resentful at my husband’s reaction to the whole thing, and am being passive-aggressive with occasional aggressive-aggressive comments. I have been extra busy with appointments for the kids, I sometimes get tired if that being all on me. Daughter’s birthday tomorrow, she already had her party, so just a favourite meal and Starbucks tomorrow.
Nope. Wrong country.
I was thinking of that Harry Potter one in Scotland. Glenfinnan Viaduct. Thanks Google. Been by that one. But y’all probably have a lot of Viaducts up there.
Thanks
Hey @maxwell it’s wonderful you are opening up here! Loneliness is one of my biggest triggers so Im diving all in on here. Just know you are not alone and you are the best pet mom you can be
Welcome @KatieO and @TheFuturist47 this app and this community has been an amazing resource in my sobriety!! Day 22 free from weed and alcohol. Keep reading, keep posting, and lean into sobriety. Ive had plenty on monday week goals which would die off by midweek, definitely wouldnt survive a weekend without a drop but here i am…survived three weekends and cravings are subsiding. Look at sobriety with a curious mind and learn as much as you can. If you arent into AA I would highly recommend the Alcohol Experiment. Its a 30day experiment with lots of facts about alcohol and addiction thinking and tools to live soberly. Ive been binge drinking for 20 years and 3 weeks seemed impossible but doing it one day at a time you will be amazed how the days stack up. Just make the decision not to pick up today and then theres no room for negotiation. I’m rambling…glad you are here! See you around!
Today was my first day at my new job, a non profit. Im so used to for profit businesses and concern about the bottom line but this organization is concerned about sustainability and helping as many people in the community who suffer from addiction, sex trafficking, homelessness, etc. I am so pumped to help this organization grow and thrive. The company atmosphere is so welcoming and im excited to learn everything i can! Great day. Going back tomorrow.
Then met my mom and dad for dinner and dished on the new gig. Love them dearly.
So fucking happy and greatful for my sobriety. I must nurture it and protect it and i did today and im most likely going to tomorrow.
Putting the kiddos to bed my wife is at Roller Derby. Happy to be doing this and not thinking about having a drink as soon as they are all asleep. Almost day 11 with 2.5hrs to go. I work early tomorrow too so it’ll be nice to not be dragging around because I drank too much. Thinking about what is next. When I get to 30 days sober I will work on cutting out the tobacco since that is like $8/day. Hope everyone is doing well.
@Controller keep stacking those days! Isnt it refreshing and shocking to not have those constant negative cravings and showing up for yourself and your family? Did you tell your daughter youre sober? Youve mentioned she asked you to stop drinking “daddy drinks”
Day 663
Anxiety is kinda bad today. Taking it easy today, chatting with a close friend, and doing a bit of meal prep before work week starts tomorrow. Had dinner with my mum yesterday, we went kayaking, I got her interested in starting therapy herself She got to a point where she started talking about worse case scenario complications that made me nervous for my knee surgery. A week and a half until that happens so going to be working on calming those voices in my head. One things for sure, I’m not going to drink over it! Keeping the hope and the stoke high planning for some post recovery races in the coming years.
Today went well, it was great to finally get in the classroom, meet my trainers and my classmates, and learn about the program. I feel relieved - or maybe it might be better to say I feel I’m “aboard”, like getting on a ship.
I was so nervous yesterday because of the unknowns: what would be required, what were the expectations, what did I have to do or not do to prepare (I am a classic over-preparer in these cases, diving in and drowning myself in all the details; I have trouble letting go and going with the flow).
I learned something: when I am at a doorway, when I am about to open a door and I don’t know what will happen, my mind goes into overdrive. At those times I have to reach out to share and connect, so I can keep myself safe.
Evening Check in Day 98
Had such a wonderful day. Hubby asked to go for a walk with me at this huge park behind where we live. It’s gorgeous there! Lots of people tho but the sun was out and we fed some ducks. Lots of geese with their cute babies. Here’s a zoomed in pic:
Experiencing that old addage of “when you feel like you don’t have time etc to stay on top of things is exactly when you need to stay on top of things”. Nothing crazy but had a slip the other day and the part of me I’ve worked so hard to get past/retrain/heal made a guest appearance. I’ve been so overwhelmed with work and life that I got out of some good habits. Thanks all for being a place of return and reinvigorating.
She was 5/6 when she asked now she is 8/9. I don’t even know why she asked back then. For now I haven’t told her I don’t think she would even know or understand. Also after she asked years ago I made sure that they at least didn’t see me drink. I’ll definitely tell her when she is older the impact it had and how I felt letting her down even though she didn’t know.
She got to a point where she started talking about worse case scenario complications that made me nervous for my knee surgery. A week and a half until that happens so going to be working on calming those voices in my head. One things for sure, I’m not going to drink over it! Keeping the hope and the stoke high planning for some post recovery races in the coming years.
Evening Check in 
