Checking in daily to maintain focus #43

[Bluekoolaid]

225

Took a huge step for my recovery and finally sat down with a psychiatrist today . I have always had some struggles with anxiety but in the last year it has increased and feels physical and sometimes paranoia . I hate admitting that out loud and When recently I started having to decide what is Possibly real and what is possibly not maybe that’s when I need to ask for help. She says that she does not want to diagnose anything right now because I have been drinking and doing drugs for so long. I was more honest than I’ve ever been. I want to stay sober and I want to have a better chance of being productive member of society. I don’t want to get accustomed to being homeless or avoiding life … I have no problem openly sharing this because maybe somebody out there is thinking about talking to somebody and is afraid … I understand… also this is for my recovery. Going to keep pushing forward and working on my mental and physical health. Man I’m tired … but it’s a good thing … also they want to do some blood work Which will maybe put my mind at easy or explain some of my physical issues . This is a process and I Surrendered 225 days ago… Alcohol and drugs do not work in my life anymore. I give up trying to make it work… This is just another step in the process

[HillbillyChris]

Good evening everyone. Checking in on day 297. Had a productive and busy day. Unfortunately I did not recognize the number but @anon53116147 left me a voicemail and wanted everyone to know he is doing well and was thinking of you. Was good to hear his voice and was sounding strong, will definitely answer next time.

[Matt]

Hi all, overall a constructive day today but wasted a few hours this aft because my blood sugar went low and I had to rest and recuperate while my body adjusted. Feeling a little bummed about that.

Trying to be forgiving with myself though. My business admin set up is moving forward constructively; that’s a good sign - I got some financials approved today, which is a step in the right direction.

Going to go home and take a walk with my wife. You can’t do everything. You can’t do 15 things in a day. You can choose some important things and do them; then go home and spend time with your cats.

[DryIn785]

Crappy day. After my latest self-imposed financial disaster, I thought I’d call the bank and have a few bucks tacked onto my existing loan. After all, I’d neglected to get my monthly bus pass, do laundry, get a haircut and all the other things responsible grown-ups do.
I was denied, and don’t know what to do now. I’m trying not to panic, but I don’t have a plan B.
I thought about getting a beer because I found a dollar. But I’m not walking in 110 degree heat for one beer when it’s not going to help.

[Seb]

QATAR HERE WE COME

[Twizzlers]

@Rockstar24777 Big Huge Massive congratulations on your 2 years only just got on now so hope it’s not late!! I’m glad your here your bring alot to the community in many ways, your strength as I mentioned before you pass on to others here and at work.
So happy for you, and thanks for being there, I hope I can do the same back if you ever need I’m here.

@Mno congratulations on your huge sober time too! And the encouraging words that we can still go back to college and be what we want I think it’s amazing you did that yourself and can show others Yes it still can be done to go for it. Thank you.

@BrianP 50 days is Amazing !! Stacking those days up yayyy

@Dmcg1987 congratulations on your 256 days I’m in uk so not sure if I’m out on that a day!! But today is my 256 too woohoo way to go us!!

@KellyKelly congrats on you 73 days

@Alycia your doing great, and your stacking your days up too 75 is alot of days to stay sober, I’m proud when I see this.

@Matt congrats on your 13 days.

@SoberGuyUSA 1,417 another huge amount of days I see here congratulations

@Nordique 729 days way to go!!

@Charlie_C 576 days congrats, I feel so lazy and unproductive after reading all the stuff you fit into a day cant wait to see the bathroom.

[kat261]

Hi everybody, Kat here, Day 6, should be checking in. Am clean and sober.

Saw my addiction doc today and we talked which was good, she said that often people who fall into a depression like I did relapse because they start to isolate instead of doing the exact opposite thing they feel like. Plan to avoid relapse next time is to continue more regular appointments with my psychiatrist and family Dr so they can detect signs of trouble in my moods/activities. I will also for sure listen to my sponsor where this is concerned as well.

Love Kat

[Twizzlers]

@BT824 8 days is brilliant, I promise it does just get better and better.

@Dansig your Just push that voice out that tells you one is ok, flick it off your shoulder like it’s nothing, great to hear your daughter is doing really well determination runs in the family 401 days is huge congrats.

@Misokatsu 671 days another amazing amount of time, My son is 20 this year and they do find their way and motivation, of course with us behind them pushing them towards their goals. Your a great mum you put in alot of effort I admire that about you.

@Desire2ChangeToday 1,052 another massive sober time, its lovely to see this congratulations🙂

@Butterflymoonwoman As always I have seen you go from strength to strength, grow and blossom, a woman to totally be admired with your determination!! I am so proud to be apart of celebrating your journey even though I am on the other side of the world you mean alot to many of us here and Wow 119 days superwoman

@Jftself congratulations on your 26 days, your doing brilliant nice to see you here and read your posts. Your strong having room mates and still sober is just brilliant this will help you along the way build strong coping strategies for now and the future

@MelSews congratulations on your 8 days, another going strong, bike ride sounds fun.

@maxwell Thats so kind of you giving to charity, I hope your day was okay and your not in too much pain still.

@Deep congratulations on your 17 days, I brought alot of gym bits for the garden recently iv only used once I’m working on just getting up and doing it not just thinking about it.

@GOKU2019 congratulations on your 240 days.

[Twizzlers]

@Staringupfromthewell Nice to see you going strong on your 24 days. Hope your day ends okay without you feeling to low about it. We learn as we go, things do get easier.

@Bluekoolaid congratulations on your 225 days.
It’s great your working on your mental health. It can bring up alot of feelings, I’m doing this atm too, finding it somewhat helpful but I know I need to do it. Good on you for taking that step.

@HillbillyChris congratulations on your 297 days.
Thank you for the update I was going to leave him a private message saying we are thinking of him but I wasnt sure if it was good idea as i didnt know how he is doing and may be fragile and when we are fragile the smallest words can be unhelpful when we think we are helping so I’m so happy to hear that.

@kat261 Its great to hear your on day 6, sounds like a good plan moving forward. Nice to see your check ins. I’m so glad your here iv always liked reading your posts.

Okay everyone I think iv caught up as hadnt been on all day, I dont think I have missed anyone, if I have just know I’m here if you need me and I’m glad your here, I’m glad I’m here I’m glad we are all here together

[ArnovdL]

I’m guessing there’s not a whole lot of sharing and trusting with the guys that drink though. Atleast none of the people I really used to drink with are real friends anyways. I still hangout with them out of stubbornness because I want to have the same fun i used to have with them but without drinking.
Congrats on the 50days champ, way to go!

[Rockstar24777]

Thank you so much @Mbwoman I appreciate that very much!!!

[Matt]

Following up - reflected on my frustration: what frustrated me today is I had a list of things I’d planned to do but didn’t get most of them done because
A) my blood sugar was yo-yoing through the early afternoon, which is physically exhausting,
B) I was napping and rolled on top of my glasses so I had to go buy new frames
C) by the time I got to the post offices - I tried three - they were all closed

I should have had my morning snack today. I skipped it, which is why my blood sugar dipped so much; the rest happened because of that.

Self-care

I did get to practice adapting today - rolling with punches - which is good!

[Rockstar24777]

That’s so nice of you to say Jess, thank you so freaking much! You inspire me on a daily basis and I love that you are so vulnerable and kind. You’re a really awesome person and I’m glad to be here with you!!!

[Rockstar24777]

Stella I love you like a sister too. Thank you so much for your kind words and for being there for me so many times when I felt like giving up. You’re awesome and I’m grateful to walk with you on this journey too!!!

[Rockstar24777]

Thank you so much @Lorelai for all that you’ve done for me and for always being there, love you too!

[SassyBoomer]

Matt, taking time for your body to recover is never wasted time. That’s like saying taking time to let yourself heal and get sober is a waste of time, silly guy lol. How long did we run in our addictions not caring about how it affected our health? My daughter is diabetic so I’m aware of how critical it is to recoup after an episode so I’m very happy you took the time.
Edit: I was writing this and my new found brother video called and I forgot to send it. Realized it after your follow up post. Glad you came to terms with adjusting

[icebear]

Holy hell that is fantastic, Rob. As others have already mentioned, the way you have pulled through and worked and been there for us too… You are like a superhero! Many congratulations, and thanks for inspiring us. Keep on rocking my man

[bloop]

Day 27.

Mostly not feeling urges, but definitely feeling down and wanting to boost my mood (read: escape this feeling) with a few drinks. I know I’ll stay strong today, there’s no real reason not to, but I just wanted to check in to express these emotions somewhere that’s not inside my head.

A week and a half ago I traveled to a state where weed is legal, unlike where I live. I’ve always had these ideas that the good absolutely outweighs the bad for me when it comes to weed. Makes me feel more grounded, more connected with my body, to think more clearly and get rid of the outer layer of anxiety I normally feel. It’s been years since I regularly used it, but I decided to get a tiny amount. What a mistake. I approached it the exact same way I was approaching alcohol. Smoking the second I got home, having more than I needed, revolving my life around it. I binged on food every night, gained about 5 lbs in that short amount of time, felt constantly groggy and unmotivated.

I don’t feel like a failure because it still wasn’t alcohol and I learned valuable lessons about myself from the whole ordeal. Definitely not buying anymore.

[maxwell]

Having a day. My positivity is fighting with my depression and it’s making me angry . I’m going to chalk it up to a suck day and let it go. I’m sober, not going to drink today. Realized when I drink, it clouds everything, when I’m sober, my mind is racing, can’t focus, can’t sit still. Drunk, I do nothing, and get more drunk until bed. Wake up, work, repeat. It’s a vicious cycle that I’m aware of, I’m working on breaking it. I want to be sober, and plan on being sober tomorrow as well. Have a good evening all.

[Rockstar24777]

So I’m out of individual responses so I’m going to have to group everyone together. I really really appreciate all of your kind words and the amount of love and support you all gave and continue to give me!!! Thank you so much @Mno, @DryIn785, @Staringupfromthewell, @GOKU2019, @Twizzlers and @icebear, you all are amazing to me!!! I’m sorry if I missed anybody I love you guys!!!