My cousin posted a pic from his recent bike ride. I’m still scratching my head over the practicality (lack there of 
) of this design 
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3+yrs, and I had the exact same thoughts today. It is sunny, I am at the pool, people around me drinking, laughing, having fun, and I am sitting on my own reading. The trigger was real and the fu*k it button was very close to been hit. Then I played the reality tape forward about how I would die a slow death the next day, and wondering what I said or how I let myself down to strangers - That glass of wine just did not seem so glamorous/fun anymore. Congratulations on your days and thanks for your reminder post 
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Congratulations Controller
That first month is HUGE!!
ODAAT
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Im glad that it helped, i really am.
Im sorry it was midnight last night when i posted my last msg, and i fell asleep. I was trying hard to stay awake to make sure your where ok xx first thing i have done come to check if your ok Its 5am now and you have given me a big smile just reading your last night check in.
Sending you lots of loves and hugs and saying a prayer for you. I hope you wake up feeling alot better, anytime im here for you.
Your so supportive all the time and so open like i litrally think i really would cry with you but instead i get to smile with such happiness that you have given me today, to see once again you show strength that is so powerful and got through so thank you.
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Embrace Yourself Sober!
I understand not wanting to be triggered. I understand not wanting to lose your sobriety. I understand what is at stake.
I also know that time makes a big difference for many people. I know that wanting to do things that you previously did drinking can be out there as something that you’re missing and you can be sad and regretting that you are no longer a part of that.
To do so would be triggering and you could possibly lose your sobriety.
Sobriety comes first.
To me the glamour is not there in the drinkers. It is anything but.
You as a sober person have so much glamour, So much substance and have it so together. Do not be envious of those people who are drinking, and seem like they don’t have a care in the world. That’s alcohol.
Anytime that you feel envious of what they’re doing, Consider that at some point you might be around them, you embracing your sober self, them out there drinking, and having their good time doing that and you may be totally turned off by the whole thing.
It might be hard for you to put up with, just because you see how ridiculous some of the behavior is.
You can still be friends with them, you can still join them if your sobriety can tolerate it.
And you might find that it’s hard for you to tolerate it because you see some of the ridiculousness.
I don’t want those of you who are missing going out with your friends drinking feeling like you are missing out.
Embrace your sober self.
Embrace your sobriety.
Embrace the way that you feel not drinking. For many of you as you get further in your sobriety it will be easier for you to be around drinkers as far as your sobriety goes.
In the meantime realize that you can have just as good of a time if not a better time sober.
As time goes on you will find these activities that you enjoy doing sober and you will feel fulfilled and enriched and not like you’re missing something.
That’s my hope for all of you.
I dictated this and usually when I hit send it will change it I will have to go back in and edit it. Big hugs for everybody.
Keep on one day at a time! Proud of all of you. We go forward. Together.
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Hey gang, checking in on day 365. Just got back from a huge wedding on the wife’s side of the family. Big catholic wedding. Tons of booze and dancing. I didn’t drink. I am sober. But I also have this weird empty feeling. Like existential dread? I dunno, maybe some kind of milestone malaise. Sometimes things can get really lonely.
Hope everyone is doing well. At least I can go to bed sober and wake up hangover free. 
thanks for the shout out @siand!
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Congratulations, 1 whole year! That’s amazing 
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Congratulations Drew!!!
I found my 1 year disappointingly very anti climatic for some reason. Not sure what I was expecting but yeah… lol. I hope your feelings pass, 1 year is awesome
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Checking in day 345. Just found out I’m pregnant with my second child, so needless to say I’m excited and hopefull for the future and also very much looking forward to my one year of being sober. If I think back to where I was exactly a year ago today there’s no way if you told me then that I would be where I am today! Feeling greatful 
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@Controller congrats on 30 days! My first 30 days were brutal. Props to you, bro. Keep it up.
@icebear congrats on a year! Can’t wait til I hit my year. One day at a time tho.
@Lucy88 congrats! Take care of yourself. Good job with your sobriety. Wish you the best with your pregnancy.
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Hey Dana,
Read your original post and I have read all the follow ons. Sorry to read that you felt flat and the urges were hitting hard, the main thing is you have beaten them again. Every time you get those urges you have to step up and each time you have had to you did.
You are doing tremendously well, I am so proud of you for coming this far. I’ve always said I’ll be honest with you, when you were going through phases of a couple of weeks at a time and relapsing I saw the days were getting more and more but honestly I thought it would be much further down the road before I saw you get this huge number under your belt. I’m so pleased to be wrong and that you have absolutely smashed this time and you keep smashing it each day and each time you don’t surrender to the darkness of using.
It’s only natural that these thoughts come up, addiction was our way of life, yours probably more so than mine as it was instilled through your experiences, things I have never experienced at such a young age that shaped and mapped your life, yet you somehow have come out of it, head high and being a guiding light and inspiration to others. So smile at the dark thoughts, for alas they cannot consume you any more because you have grown, you are a bigger person than you were, your self worth, self esteem and confidence in your ability to beat this is bigger than the urges you get to use.
Darkness is afraid of the light and you are the light. If you want to eliminate the shadow all you have to do is shine a little light on it. Darkness cannot survive in the light but light can survive in darkness which is why you can see lights at the ends of tunnels. That light is your destination, the tunnel your journey and we are all in this together guiding each other to the light!
Shine your light girl!
Ps love the new profile pic, your eyes are sparkling! 
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Congratulations Drew!
Don’t worry about the mixed feelings, it’s probably the milestone effect. Ore like you called it: milestone malaise 
For me milestones are tricky days because of it.
Again well done for your year! 
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Hi everyone, I hope that you are all well.
Though I’m annoyed with myself for having had to reset, I’m not too worried about it.
Last week was kind of rough… tough break-up with my girlfriend and all… not that that’s much of an excuse.
Anyway, back on track now.
I’ve been to a few AA meetings, but I have to say that it’s not for me. Now, I hope not to upset any of you who have had good results with AA, but for me (and this is my purely subjective opinion), I found the quasi-religious nature of it to be rather off-putting.
In any event, I’m not really the “meeting type”, nor am I someone who most people would want to have around for any length of time or with any frequency.
So I’ll just keep to myself… and check in here with all of you.
Have a good day, all.
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Congratulations with your 
month milestone @Controller
Have you considered a folding bike @Mno ?
I bought a Brompton bike and I biked to the trainstation and from train to work. I can walk to work now with my current job but I still have my Brompton and use it when I work at a different location in town. The little bike I can put inside the store in the stockroom. Maybe that is an idea?
Nice house @Becsta 
I knew it exist, but I have never seen it in real life! Next time when I’m in the north I have to visit it!
Enjoy the camping @LAB , that sounds so good!
It’s crap @Daishippai and I’m sorry you have to go trough it again. But you did 3 weeks so you can do more. Glad you here! Focus on today, not on yesterday, that’s gone and you cannot change it. Try to learn and move on!
And a hug to go with it! 
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I hear you on this one. Understanding that I need alone time, realising that I will get frazzled if I don’t get it, has been very freeing.
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#Day 1362 
Back from our holiday in Germany, it was fun!
Thuesday will be my first working day after 4 (!) weeks of missing out because of surgery, complications and the holiday. Looking forward to work but also a little scared because of my body is not totally healed yet. Because of it I work 75% next week and we see how it goes.
I do what I can and have to feel instead of thinking things trough and trough. Walking helps with that too. Here…now…be.
Nothing more 
Update just got a phonecall from work. My whole team has Covid!
So there goes the idea of an easy start at work! I’m the only one left. I feel an extra lesson coming up! 
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