Hey guys. Checking in day 21. Its 3 weeks sober and I am very happy.
Gonna watch the boys season 3. Really loving it.
@Jason1976 hey bro. Congrats on reaching 90 days. Its tough reaching 90 days but you did it. Keep it up.
Have a very nice friday guys. Peace.
Hi Micheal,
Congratulations to your new job! 
And I also now the despair for changes. 
Congrats @Jason1976 what a sweet milestone. Thanks for sharing your message of hope in recovery 
These are really really beautiful toppings! 
Hi @anon74766472,
Iāve the same problem with my brain, which thinks, that I have to be in the office quite early. 
Thank you!!
And Iām a few episodes into season 3. Pretty awesome so far!!
Day 13. Tired and need to clean my house. With teaching so much and the kids being home 24/7 it is a disaster in here. Trying not to depend on espresso. It makes me edgy these days anyway but I drink it if I need a kick start. Other than that, today is pretty boring. Have a great Friday!
Day 1 Going to start 1 40 mins. Excited to see the pain cravings and all that shit.
Still day 2. Checking in again because Iām having trouble getting going today and I just feel sluggish and foggy.
Had a conversation with my recovery coach earlier and we drilled into my life now, where I feel I am and where I feel Iām heading. Overall I have a lot of strong supports in place for healthy, stable living; yet still I feel scattered, even stuck at times. I have made a lot of progress but something needs to change to enter a new level of growth.
We spoke about my morning ritual and incorporating some introspection and visioning into it. Take some time to envision my day and my steps through the day; to set up a rhythm and a flow. Get ahead of the curve and less in a reactive mode. That is my task for this week, each day in the morning.
I shared it already several times. It still fits.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lostā¦ I am helpless.
It isnāt my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I donāt see it.
I fall in again.
I canāt believe I am in the same place.
But, it isnāt my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. Itās a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.
(Portia Nelson)
Congratulations on your 90 Days Jason.
Thereās a lot to be grateful for, and we got so many blessings when we are sober.
Great job 
Keep up the great work.
Thank you!!! 
I believe you are exactly where you are supposed to be Dana. After years of acting out under the influence and participating in behaviors that went against my moral code the level of self loathing I had was astronomical. It is a lot to start to thaw out emotionally and have these thoughts of past behavior hammer my consciousness. My go to emotion was also anger for most of my life, it kept people away from me which made me feel safe.
Eventually I had to start to let that stuff go though and the way I did that was by looking back at my life very factually. Taking all of the emotions and judgements away and what I was left with was a frightened woman who was just trying to survive the only way she knew how. That isnāt my fault, itās not my fault that I am an addict and that in order to feed my habit I have had to act in ways that I would never act now. I have compassion for that woman now just like I have compassion for the woman that I see today doing the same things I did years ago. I was doing the best I could with what I had in that moment and I am sure that you were too.
It took me some time to love myself and to get there I had by move through loathing, acceptance/indifference, to love. I believe that you love yourself already Dana, I can see how much effort you put into your recovery and someone who hates themselves doesnāt do that. You might not like who your addict made you become, but that is definitely not who you are today.
Iām gonna admit it even though I donāt want to. I think Iāve completely fallen back into my eating disorder. I know itās been going downhill but I think I realized last night when I couldnāt sleep because all I could think about was how much I was going to eat the next day
Hey, great stacking up of days. You seem confident on your journey, good going 
Itās good to share about it. These squirrelly addiction / dysfunction thoughts just get louder the longer we leave them in there.
Why the eating? Whatās on your mind. Itās always something.
Day 244 AF
Woke up late this morning. We were all exhausted from the water park yesterday.
No plans today. Whatever comes up. Living the good sober life.
I hope everyone has a great day!
Morning Check in
Day 123
Today Iām working on being a nicer person. Thatās my main goal (outside of my recovery being 1st). I caught myself at one point this morning and changed my tune before it got out of hand. Currently baking up a storm. Iāve already made 1 dozen each of gluten free chocolate, vanilla, and marble. Gluten free brownies are in the oven smelling good! Will have everything done by later today and Iāll take pics of the finished products. Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
Itās been on the downhill for a while and I just let things spiral. It started a few months ago when I just wasnāt really hungry anymore. I was aware of it, but I told myself it was fine because everything else was good. Iām not sure why it started to get worse. But it kept going downhill and I made excuses for why it was ok and now Iām here
