Bruh, how you been man? What’s good?
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That was beautifully said (written). I understand though, I hate crowds and many people are inconsiderate, with a feeling of entitlement. I would have had a meltdown.
I’m happy everything went well eventually and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. 
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Hi Cassi,
Do you have any hobbies or books you like to read, or a movie? Just something to get your mind on something else. It’s okay to have blah or sad days, we all do. And it’s good you recognize it as such. Stay sober my friend, tomorrow is a new day 
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Checking in. Back on Day 1. Lethargic. Lonely
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I’m very sorry for your loss of your Father. It’s never easy. Sending hugs. 
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Hey, but you’re here, that’s a good sign. So many of us have relapsed, myself included. Don’t be hard on yourself and keep coming back and share what’s happening with your days. Hope to see you around. 
Checking in. Sober and happy. I got the weekend off at my job and I am going to my parents for the weekend to celebrate my 28th birthday tomorrow. I am so excited to celebrate a sober birthday and my mental health is so much better than it was last year. I have come a long way since my last birthday and I am just progressing in my life. I am so happy and grateful to my HP and NA and the treatment centers I went to along my journey. I hope I wake up tomorrow clean and sober, God willing. Also, I am having a hard time w other behaviors. I feel so bad saying this but I am trying to refrain from sexual activities and it is so hard but I am getting through it one day at a time… well, I will keep going and keep getting through this and I know I am not alone.
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You are so self aware that it just inspires me to hold the same mirror.
My addiction is an addiction. Whether it was smoking, then vapour cigs, then tobacco gum. Or CBD gummies, or valium, or or or. I haven’t used any hard drugs since my late twenties as I just knew that would be the nail in my coffin, so I settled in with cosy accepted booze. But the cycle of addiction lives in me like a little extra skeleton I carry around. I can also addict over hobbies and other things.
I would love to delve deeper into this to understand why. Why do I latch onto these things/DOCS?
I appreciate your posts whenever I read them as they are so considered and precise in intent and language. Keep going just as you are 
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My deepest condolences 
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I’m good man just got back from a meeting and gym gonna shower and relax now. Got a peer to bring me so it’s a good day and met my goals. Hope all is well with you today bro
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Sorry for your Loss, Laura. Amazing way to honor him by staying sober. 
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Checking in
Day 144
Feeling so much better now. Not nearly as overwhelmed. I’m actually watching the Calgary Stampede Parade on TV right now. Pretty cool with all the floats, 200 horses being riden, including Kevin Costner riding a horse. I kind of wish I actually went to watch it but 305,000 people attended.That’s abit much for me. I struggled getting thru the crowd earlier just trying to get thru the streets to my appt. I’m glad they filmed it tho! Nice event!
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4 months sober
Things are not markedly better. They are a different type of bad.
No desire to drink. No desire to smoke. Still no change in my executive function. I stew in my problems and watercolor.
What does it mean to “move on”
I have a sweet cat near me. I ate an ice cream sandwich. I made a nest in my bed and i just stay there with food and paints, listening to podcasts and pretending i have close relationships. Aaaaaa.
Idk. People like my paintings. They raised a fair amount of money for someone.
.
Maybe i need to think less and respect myself more. But what does that mean?
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That’s so good to hear 
. I’m proud of you for doing what you’ve been doing, i hope you’re feeling proud too.
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Day 129 of no self harm
I’m so exhausted from work. I just started working full time on top of 3 college classes. Tomorrow is Saturday which is never fun, but then I have to spend all Sunday getting caught up on a week of school. This is what o chose for myself, so I’ll do it. I just don’t have much energy as is but I’m amazed by how I seem to get more tired every morning. I’m sleeping 10 hours most nights but with the nightmares it’s not very restful.
I made a friend at work! I work remotely but they actually live in the same town as me and they’re super fun to talk to. I’m really looking forward to potentially hanging out with them sometime since I don’t have any friends out here
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Day 6 …. No alcohol
Something I haven’t shared on here yet is that I used to smoke weed every day and haven’t touched it in 11 years… I’ve never given it much thought, but now it is something I am proud of and it gives me hope for stopping drinking alcohol
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Evening Check in
Day 144
I don’t know how I’m feeling honestly. My mood has been so up and down today. I feel irritated or anxious or something 
idk. Not everyday is going to be roses in recovery and I know that. I won’t use over it or anything. Just feeling “off”. Not much else to say for tonight
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@Lorelai I’m so sorry for your loss; sobriety is a beautiful way to honor him. Hang in there.
That’s usually how I feel most days. I’m just gonna go to bed now and hope for a better tomorrow. 
@SadMemeQueen Recovery can be lonely business, I hope you find many good friends.
Same here. I know what you mean by “a different type of bad”. I try to chase those thoughts away by reminding myself that less than a year ago, I was homeless and drunk. Things aren’t exactly what I want right now, but I’m so much better now.
Everybody have a great night (or morning)!
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30 days is definately not small. I’m looking forward to getting there again! We’ve got to keep trying❤️
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