Thank you for your kind words @Twizzlers . Things will get better, I just need to give it time. I suppose not having my usual reality crutch means I am feeling all of this unfiltered. Not numb to everything. It’s pretty rough but I would rather be doing this than the alternative.
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I think your right give it time and things will settle for you, it must be uncomfortable having to sit with these feelings but you have the strength to do it, remember get to a meeting online or face ti face if it gets really tough for you. And of course we are here too.
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Hi, I’m doing good, thank you for asking. 
You didn’t mess up, you are who you are. My belief is all the things we go through good and bad, define us for who we are today. And today, you’re a kind person with a sweet soul. And I’m happy to have you as a friend here. I hope you enjoy your day. 
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I’m sitting in a field watching butterflies (gatekeeper, meadow brown, marble white and brimstone) flutter by on my 90th day. I’m listening to sober mummy drunk mummy (hilarious podcast) and drinking a lemon kombucha.
Life is amazing today. 
Picnic dinner.
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Awwww thank you, that means so much to hear this, it’s great to have you here as my friend her too, I’m not alone when I’m here. X 
@BrianP your so right we arent alone. To be honest I dont know where I’d be if I hadnt joined this community and been welcomed into it with such love and care from everyone, it really helps with the loneliness- makes me not feel alone, makes me feel like im in a caring place with caring people.
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Boy, this hit me like a ton of bricks. Great thought, thanks for sharing it.
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So my grandpa might have a UTI. He is in the er and I am in his house alone. I have never used any substances because I know my family history of addiction. I’m only here for my eating disorder and self harm.
Anyway I was asked to send my grandpa a list of his meds that he has and I found out he has oxycodone and my self destructive brain is screaming at me that I’m going to end up an addict and I should take them anyway. I’m going to be here for several hours alone.
Update: he also has an entire drawer of disposable razors so I have to deal with that
Update: my aunt is here so the pills won’t be taken at least. Razors are still accessible but I’m trying not to take them
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Hi Megan,
You’ve never used substances, why start now? You’re there to get a list of meds for the doctors and your Grandpa, that’s all you need to focus on. You’re a strong woman, stay the course.
Does he have a TV or anything else to keep you busy? Or stay here, we’re all here for you.
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He has tv. I have my phone and my laptop here. My plan was to work on school but I might just settle for playing some video games
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Sounds like a plan! I bought a Nintendo switch around the time I quit drinking. I’ve been playing Animal Crossing. I’m sure there’s a ton I don’t know how to do, but I like it a lot.
My ex was a drug addict, he would take drugs of almost any kind. When his brother passed due to an overdose of pain pills, my ex was the 1st at his house looking for anything left. You never want to go there.
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Animal crossing is amazing. I’ve just seen all the horrible things addiction has done to my family. I don’t want to be like that but I feel stuck in that cycle
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You’re not stuck. You can break the cycle, you’re already doing it!
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Some family members showed up so the pills aren’t an option now. Debated taking his razors but I feel better now that someone else is here
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Thank you Brian in here too for you
I’m not on social media, only here and I dont really count this as social media - somehow I feel like I’m glad I never really got into all that social media.
I’m quite a private person but being here and opening up about my addiction is something I feel I needed to do, to be able to be abstinent and sustain it I needed to not hide it anymore.
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Yeah I never do anything in public. I might walk to the park and at the very least just sit there if nothing else
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Chalk it up as a thought, or urge that you didn’t act on. That means you are breaking the cycle ODAAT. You’re your own person, no one defines us, even our families. I’m proud of you!
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Do it! Parks are great. My back yard is on a park. I sit on my deck or just pull up a chair in the yard and watch and listen for hours sometimes. I’m probably “the weird guy that lives by the park”. 
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Thank you so much . Not every day is easy but I’m simply learning to Use the tools available to me. I’m learning to communicate when I’m struggling but also when I’m doing well . I know this is a process and I’m learning to live with feelings again .
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Ur so welcome!!! It actually caught me off guard too lol I’ve really struggled with self love and self forgiveness.
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