Wow!!! A wonderful happy congratulations to you on 3 frickin years!!! Way to go 
2 Likes
Congratulations!
2 Likes
Congrats!!!
3 Likes
Let me tell you what worked for me…
First I had to figure out that I had a problem with alcohol. I was in deep denial that I had a problem with any drug except meth. Even then I wasn’t considering that I might be the issue. I was blaming the drug (meth) for taking me down. Once I realized I couldn’t stop drinking, that I was in a full blown relapse and that I was indeed the problem it took me years to figure out how to help myself. I tried everything… family support, medical support… nothing was working but I was watching someone very close to me thrive in recovery. She was going to meetings, doing step work, sponsoring women, working at a recovery house, attending world conventions of NA, she was living and breathing recovery and she was thriving. Her life was and is still amazing… I was suffering and wanted to die. So what I did was I accepted that I could not control my drinking, that I definitely am an addict who can not use any drugs in any form. I accepted that I needed to surround myself with like minded people who were being successful at living without substances. I wanted what she had, I knew how she had gotten it, she was recovering LOUD AND PROUD just like everyone does here on this forum.
There are certain things that one needs to do in order for this to work but the first one is acceptance. Nobody can tell you that you have a problem with alcohol, nobody can tell you that you are an alcoholic, it has to come from you.
9 Likes
Waaaaahooooooo!
Look at those days stack up!
3 Likes
Thanks girl. And yes when I can start looking for work this is where it will be, it is a pretty nice place. There is like 5 different gyms to choose from and plenty of jobs. And it’s only a hour from home so still close to my girls. I do feel guilty bc I feel like I should be home for my girls but I know this will be the best for all of us in the long run
12 Likes
Day 6 off the wine & day 5 off cigarettes (with the aid of nicotine patches). Not wanting to sound obnoxious but this week was so easy for me, I was working lates, pulling 9-10 hour shifts so I didn’t have the time or energy to even think about drink. Next week will be the test. All my shifts end at 2pm, even thinking of this makes me feel a bit edgy but I will resist. I’ll have to. I’m feeling happy about sobriety 
15 Likes
Day 155
After never having cravings, it finally happened. I saw the wine and beer aisle in the grocery store, and just, really wanted to get drunk one night. Wanted to enjoy the taste of red wine, or hard cider, wanted to relax. I bought…uh…7 big bags of chips instead. And cookies. A lot more food than I was going to. So it goes.
Finally reunited with my other cat. I wasnt sure if shed be mad at me for moving her but she has already used the litter box and cuddled next to me. Moving is almost done, and I have no work tomorrow. Am i in a good mood? yes?! I will take it. Grateful for watercolor, new house, and how my life is rn.
17 Likes
Checking in
Day 948
Headed to an Al-Anon meeting.
Working on that codependency addiction.
I’m solid on the alcohol addiction.
Keep up the good fight everyone.
However I’m seeing my problems. And that’s me 
I’m asking;
God help me to see this differently,
19 Likes
Second check in day 422. Feeling the sadness creep in today. Trying not to fall into those feelings of worthlessness. Tomorrow is a new day.
One source of levity is that my seven year old just discovered We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel and she will. not. stop. listening to it 
19 Likes
@icebear yup screw worthless that’s your addict talking, you are loved, valued and needed. Big hug from Canada!
LMAO I loved that song when it came out, gotta be 35 years or so ago! I’m old ha ha
4 Likes
When is the last time you truly enjoyed drinking? When is the last time you moderated without extreme effort? I think you’ll find life much easier, happier, and fulfilling in sobriety. Gotta let go of the false love for alcohol, it’s nothing more than an addicted brain lying to you. Best wishes
6 Likes
Congratulations 
! Awesome job my friend
2 Likes
1157
Coffee. Working Monday. Had a nice quiet Sunday shift yesterday, lots of time to talk to the clients. Getting better at that, more secure in talking about my own experiences and how they translate to what the clients in my care are going through. I work as a nurse in a detox facility BTW.
Today will be different with new admissions and all the doctors and other staff back at work. Lots of other stuff to do too. That’s OK too. I like this work. I’m sober and clean. One day at a time. Hoping for the same clean and sober day for all of you. Without that nothing would come of this day, for all of us.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from Amsterdam.
@Fargesia Huge congrats on three years!!!
25 Likes
Congratulations 
amazing
2 Likes
Congratulations on your 3 years of freedom Fargesia.
2 Likes
With what you are going through, it’s more than understandable you are struggling. Heck, I’d rather you sh than your sobriety being in danger. The pain you feel is palpable in your posts. I’m so sorry. And thinking of you with warmth and comfort during my days when I see you here.
You’re not alone Laura. Though it probably feels like you are.
6 Likes
Day 159 of no self harm.
Doing pretty okay today. I get tattoo flu every time I get a tattoo, so I currently have a fever. My immune system is already weak, so a tattoo tends to leave me feeling a bit sick for about a week. Right now I’m mostly just really tired, and having a hard time walking. I never realized how much your calf moves when you walk. I am so glad that I have a desk job.
I am still a little upset about everything that happened yesterday, but I am feeling a million times better. I slept until noon and then spent most of my day playing my Xbox. Not looking forward to going to work tomorrow, but that is life.
Something positive: my tattoo is from my favorite video game, Sally Face. I posted a photo of my tattoo on reddit, and the developer of the game actually responded and said it was awesome. I have loved that game since I was about 13, so I was so excited. I never in a million years expected him to see it.
13 Likes
Dear Dana how does this thought sit with you: that your past in the sex trade is coming up now because you are in a place in your life where you have enough psychic resources to confront it? Where you are emotionally, mental health wise in a place that is stable enough to start facing it? You have accomplished so much change in your life, including being in recovery, and you love yourself today - how many women can say that about themselves who have been through what you have been through. You also have the security of a job family, stable home… Maybe the stars are aligned and this next chapter can begin.
Your question the other day about self-love regarding to our physical properties, that’ll be deeply linked with your past for you I am sure. It’ll help to examine it all.
I think you’re showing a great attunement and attention to your own inner workings by taking the hints, the dreams, thoughts, this situation with the two guys in the car and how you reacted and thinking about beginning you to face your past! That’s awesome! It does not do us any good to suppress what wants to be looked at, that causes mental illness. I just wanted to give my support for your estimation there.
I had the same thought as you, that it would be best to start working through this with a professional. Maybe start looking for a therapist. For this is I can give the one advice to imagine what kinda person you can imagine building trust respect and rutthless honesty with. And then seek for that kinda person in a therapist. Gender, age, appearance, character, these things.
Good luck on your journey, when you are ready to take it. You’re not alone with it all!
2 Likes