So very proud of you Megan! I’m glad u were able to see some huge positives today even though your work stuff is not going so well. You really have come a long way! It may not feel like it at times but the fact that you immediately threw out those razors, says ALOT! Hugs Megan!
Morning Check in Day 166
Had a rough sleep last night but the day is beautiful today. Slightly cool from our thunderstorm last night, so it’s a nice relief. I’m on my way to work. Saw on the schedule that there is a new coworker working with me today. This usually makes for a long day with this particular client bcuz she almost always AWOLS and trashes her place and name calls etc due to mtg new people. She just struggles with trust. Everyone that works with her has gone thru this, including myself. I am praying today that I have the ability to calm her and help her thru this
Hope everyone has an addiction free day
Good morning, checking in Day 3! I woke up to some humor that made me laugh . I love to laugh, I love funny things, comments etc. Our world (at least the US) has become so uptight that we need to tiptoe around words. Has anyone seen the Office with Steve Carell? I think it’s one of the funniest shows written, of course that would never be accepted today. I’ve never watched the UK version with Ricky Gervais, my guess even more cringe worthy.
I understand bullying, or shaming should never be accepted. But humor is what can bring people together, can heal sadness. I laugh at myself daily, the world can be a funny place.
@Beth2 , Your post made me so emotional this morning because that is exactly what’s it’s like for me.
I’m super down this morning because I drank last night and what the hell? I just admitted to everyone here about my small slip the day before.
I felt so positive and motivated and then in one moment that addict voice told me “it’s ok, just one. It’s hot. You can have one drink and sit outside and read your book. Your daughter’s out tonight. Just enjoy yourself”
I tried to talk to my husband about that voice in my head before I drank. The only thing he said was
" I hear you-it is hot!". And I knew that he was going to have beer later too.
There’s so many things I could have done in that situation to avoid taking a drink. Firstly I should have checked in here and not with my husband. Secondly I should have been the one driving my daughter to her friend’s house because then I wouldn’t have been able to drink until I got home and it would have given me time to cool down in the car and reconsider, but instead I asked my husband if he could drive her and so he did. (And he knew why I wanted him too)
I poured my first drink, then my second, then my third-all even before he got back home. Honestly.
I have to remind myself it’s the first drink that’s the most important. I need to stop telling myself I can have just one because I honestly can’t and even if I can one night, the next night goes all downhill. And then yes, physically sick, anxious headache all of that. I’ve actually been worried about my kidneys lately because I’ve had severe lower back pain. Last night I was so nauseous. I’m trying not to beat myself up about this but I just feel like I have completely let myself and also everyone here down.
100 percent!!!
So I’m going to be checking in here anytime I get an urge right away and I’m not going to be talking to my husband about it anymore because I swear to God he likes it when I drink. He says that’s not the case, but honestly I think he just wants me to come down to his level. I know that sounds awful to say but that’s how I feel. I think it makes him feel better about himself. I don’t know what it is but all I know is he really does encourage it. He never tries to discourage me and he always makes excuses for me. I’m not angry with him. I don’t think he’s doing it to be intentionally mean… I just think it’s an absolutely unhealthy dysfunctional relationship with alcohol on both of our parts.
Anyways sorry from rambling I had to get this all out and if you made it through reading this all, I appreciate it.
Thanks for posting Beth. I needed to read this this morning.
Hi Miranda, I don’t have any great advice or revelation for you except that when I started over this time, I realized I reset 8 times! I only wrote about the 1st, now 2nd one. Today I’m on day 3.
I’m here for you, holding your hand, sending hugs and we can do this together.
Avoiding that first drink. I can’t have just one. Replay in my head-over and over and over. I’m going to join another meeting today.
Thanks Maxine:heart:
I know I can’t have one, yet I’ve still tried many, many times. We’re human, never beat yourself up. You’re a beautiful lady. When your inner voice says you can, just say
341 days today. i went hiking yesterday. our group visited a waterfall, climbed stones, walked in the stream… we also swam in the waterfall. it was so cold! worth it though. i was pretty sad after it was over. today i went swimming during a storm. very fun. although it seems like i need something like that to happen every day because i forget things very fast. Uploading: 20220729_144433.jpg… Uploading: 20220729_135101.jpg… Uploading: 20220729_130623.jpg…
It’s funny how it’s the stupidest things that trigger us. I would spend hours on the weekend cleaning out the couple of aquariums that I have and drinking and listening to music. Now I’ve been trying to avoid it, but it’s gonna have to get done at some point. Lol. Have a good yard sale.
For the ones on this forum that are so quick to judge or flag a post, criticize someone’s wording (especially since we are from all different countries).
Then justifying your actions as to save the world from anything you deem disrespectful. Did you ever stop to think, your immediate attacks may be more hurtful to the one you’re ambushing than to the world that you claim you’re protecting?
Go ahead and flag my post, but I’ve seen it too many times. What happened to this being a safe space? If you don’t like something, take a breath, read something else. But think before you attack, otherwise you are the bully.
Day 60, happy to say that. 2 months feels good again with some actual work, things here are going well, having some small issues with ppl pleasing and being afraid to say no in certain situations bc im afraid of confrontation. But I’m working through it,much love
Morning Check in 
I feel the positivity in ur words and I know you’re going to have an amazing day!
. I love to laugh, I love funny things, comments etc. Our world (at least the US) has become so uptight that we need to tiptoe around words. Has anyone seen the Office with Steve Carell? I think it’s one of the funniest shows written, of course that would never be accepted today. I’ve never watched the UK version with Ricky Gervais, my guess even more cringe worthy.
Today I’m on day 3.
