@Nordique congrats on all the 8s @Mali ikr! My brother has Sky so he saw it a while ago and I’ve been waiting so long for it to come on Netflix, I just wish there were more episodes. I heard they are making a movie but I haven’t researched to see if that’s true yet, but it would be pretty epic
831 days no alcohol.
296 days no cocaine.
Missed yesterday’s check-in. Haven’t had my head screwed on properly. My friend that I cut contact with again a couple of months ago, reached out via a new profile, and I got caught up in caring too much. It never ever helps, and then I feel drained and exhausted, mentally and physically. So I haven’t engaged in convo with them today, my mind needed peace. It doesn’t feel good to ignore someone, but I think that comes from an innate need for connection, which I don’t have with anyone.
Anyway, I’ll be alright. Visited family last night for my SILs bday last week, was a nice visit and I always cherish seeing my niece because I don’t see her anywhere near as often as I wish I did because my brother and his wife have such a busy social life.
Today I’ve had the worst migraine I’ve had in a long time. So I have been trying to nap it away in darkness. Its still not great and my eyes are blurry. It has taken me hours to do my check-in, but I’m now feeling pleased to have caught up.
I hope you’re all having wonderful sober weekends.
I think in about 20 years I’ll have some alone time. I’ve been raising kids for 17 years…since before I had any of my own. And my youngest is 4. She’s also special needs so 18 isn’t the year she will go out on her own most likely… But I do appreciate you thinking of me .
I hope you’re having a good day today
It’s just the opposite for me. When I’m around drunk people or hear stories like that it makes me grateful to be a non-drinker. Sounds like your brother is trying to defend his drinking. He has a problem that he doesn’t want to acknowledge. It will take some time. You are a great example for him. Well done.
Day 40 no substances
Day 170 no self harm
Day 3 regularish eating
Today was stressful. And I think I’m finally starting to feel it.
I got about 2 hours of sleep, got up at 4, went to work where there were two less people than there needed to be. The next 3 (by over an hour each) people were late, the printers weren’t working and the computers wouldn’t update.
And i had to work straight through 7.5 hours before i got one 5 minute break. Worked another 2 hours, and then left and took someone grocery shopping to 3 stores and to get her food. Before i could even drop her off I got a call from my partner that one of my bonus kids (14 y/o girl) got dropped off at my house by her dad but left with a boy to go to his house and didn’t even ask me if she could (I would have said no anyway) and then she lied to me saying she was there to meet his mom, who wasn’t there. So i picked her up and had to discuss how that was a bad idea…before immediately having to run errands for my partner and while we were out my truck finally gave up on the water pump/radiator and the antifreeze started spraying out all over everything under the hood, and smoking and the belts got wet so the power steering wasn’t working, and the battery light came on because the terminals got wet…it was a mess. I didn’t get home till 6 pm but when i walked in my little one was having a meltdown because she couldn’t have a squishy toy (because she would chew on it and eat the pieces) and then I still had to make dinner and wash dishes, help my oldest finish cleaning her room, etc. etc.
Now it’s closing in on 10 and I am feeling overwhelmed.
I did manage to eat today but nothing healthy so my ED mind is stressing about that too…
All that, and after yesterday, the urges to SH are creeping up…i just need a hug and some sleep.
I had a moment to just enjoy something. We did a Netflix double feature - The Platform and Okja. I recommend both those films, and they paired very well.
I at least did 15 minutes of cleaning. No more, but maybe ill go back and set the timer to do some more random things tonight.
Sleep. Still sober. Absolutelu terrifying to think that i used every day and couldnt imagine not. How did i let myself become this way.
Thank you for reminding about the other threads i can go off topic sometimes
Day 416 7am
I have woken from a dream that is all trauma based i won’t go into details it wont do any of us any good. It was just so real i am hoping in 5 minutes i forget it
Its rainy heavy, im so glad i did what needed doing in the garden yesterday.
Today im going to try and be comfortable with how i feel until it passes and see how well that works.
Still in bed warm and cozy glad to be up and awake. I had an okay sleep.
Have a great day/night everyone
Sending a huuuuge hug and love ,
although you might have slept already now.
Yap, as you said in other thread I am also not the best advice giver but first of all, congratulations that you ate! And if it was not healthy, it puts the energy in your body anyway! If it was tasty its worth it. We don’t die by a unhealthy meal from time to time.
And girl, you need the energy for all that stuff you are managing in your life, especially with the kids! You are a strong woman and you need power.
My holidays end today. Late shift coming up. Happy I got a nice walk in yesterday. And did some good self care stuff overall in the last couple of weeks. Sober and clean & one day at a time.
Checking in on day 527 of continuous sobriety. I’m up having coffee and realizing that I have reached a point in my adult life where getting up at 6:45 is “sleeping in” Hope everyone is having a peaceful, sober weekend.
I’ve been raising kids for 17 years…since before I had any of my own. And my youngest is 4. She’s also special needs so 18 isn’t the year she will go out on her own most likely… But I do appreciate you thinking of me 
so my ED mind is stressing about that too…
only thing i can change is the present.
Hope everyone is having a peaceful, sober weekend. 
