Glad your day is going well, yes take the time to do some stuff you enjoy and your dreamcatchers are always so well made and made with love thats special 
Me being so lazy today i kept feeling bad like i should be doing something but now i realise i needed it.
Have a lovely rest of the day.
Iv used all my likes but am here reading still 
Day 0
Evening all. I’ve been away for a while but by doing so I’ve lost my way and fallen back into my addictive habits.
I have been working on myself over the past couple of months and life has got no less stressful. I’m back to try and build good habits, be accountable for my actions and live each day as it comes.
My PMO addiction is the one part of me I don’t like. I am not ashamed of my addiction anymore as shame has kept me alone in this fight for too long. I want to grow as a person and be better for it.
But to do that I need to put the actions to those words, which starts today.
Welcome back
179, checking in.
Huge welcome back! Its nice to see u here again!
@Lorelai @Twizzlers thank you both, the iron method is the only thing I havent tried, bcuz I dont have an iron nor a hair dryer. The man is going to use an iron at first, so hopefully that will work then, 
it’s just that the stain is a very deep pink and my efforts to remove it may have made it permanent!
@ReeBee28 welcome 
congrats on both your AF days and 3 years of no drugs 
and good luck with your training for the new role 
@Hotic congrats on 1400+ days
@sadmemequeen sending strength 
it does sound like you would benefit from prioritising your mental health and going to see your psychiatrist, get it out the way so you’ve got your meds. Fibro solidarity and congrats on 8 months and the promotion 
@juli1 wow, I need some of your excess energy! 
@Alisa thank you
@butterflymoonwoman wow, I’d be feeling used too if I had a friend like that. I can relate to wanting to maintain an only local friendship, but I had to cut ties with my only remaining friend a few weeks ago bcuz it was so toxic and all he ever wanted to do was drink alcohol and sit in pubs. You’ve got so much going on in your own life, you can’t be taking on other people’s responsibilities too.
@minatasha oh to not have thoughts! sending strength you’re doing better than you think
@KarenKW it’s great that you are taking action and listening to professional advice, I hope things start to improve for you very soon
@sirluca welcome back
@Krispymac congrats on 4 months
@mamador belated congrats on 7 months and happy sober birthday for yesterday 
@Scorpn congrats on 5 months
@Imcrafty congrats on 70 days and I hope your FIL’s surgery is successful
@kamj congrats on double digits
@Linm welcome congrats on 6 days it gets better
@moosetracks congrats on 60 days
@sabrina80 sending healing vibes
@staringupfromthewell welcome back
815 days no alcohol.
280 days no cocaine.
Didn’t go swimming yesterday, had to collect my meds and thought it would be too busy for me by the time I got home.
Today had been strange. I received a phonecall in the morning to say my therapy appt would be virtual and not in person, so that gave me 8 extra hours at hone than expected and no day out. Therapy was strange too, lots of silence, felt like crying afterwards. He was saying how the effects of abuse gets mixed up in the things I should feel good about and that’s what leads to sabotage. I want to get better but the road seems so long.
Might watch an episode of The Voice UK before I sleep tonight, though I haven’t been able to watch anything since I stopped bingeing crisps 16 days ago. 
Checking in, today I shall stay sober only with the help and guidance of my Creator the Creative Force behind the Universe.Left up to my own devices I am doomed an alcoholic death of pitiful incomprehensible demoralization and whatnot.
Peace and Bless
@Butterflymoonwoman I have loved reading your posts too and find your positivity and kindness truly beautiful. Your words of support about my new role at work have been so appreciated. I had a really great shift yesterday teaching a nursing student. I really enjoy that part of my job. It gives me such a good feeling to pass on the knowledge i have gained in my 20 years of nursing. Being sober has given me a renewed passion for teaching.
Hi @AEGFletcher I too found the religious side of AA hard to except being agnostic myself. I found a group online when I searched for Secular AA. It allows me to recieve the support I need without any mention of religion at all. They are accepting of everyones beliefs but it is just not a part of the sobriety journey and that is what I enjoy about it.
there is a kid at work today who is seriously testing my patience and I can feel myself getting angry. I took my lunch break to get away. but everyime I experience the slightest bit of anger, especially towards a kid, I convince myself I’m just like my abusive father even though it is my worst nightmare to ever lay my hand on a child in a harmful way. i don’t even think my tone changed towards the kid much but I wanted to scream. and now of course I’m his teacher so I keep saying to myself you’re a terrible teacher you don’t deserve this job
Nursing isnt an easy job. I feel like its very high pressure, very demanding to be on top of everything and accurate with everything you do, no room for error… not everyone can do that job. I have actually wanted to get into the medical field (not as a nurse but maybe as a unit clerk or something). I have a community support worker diploma so i have worked with people for over 13 years in other ways… not medical. Bascially mental health, disabilities, and criminal justice. But being a nurse is just something u really need a passion for. I dont know how honestly u and others do it. My son goes to the Complex Airway clinic, Oncology clinic, home nutrition clinic, and then has obviously has been on various units over the past 4 years. Its incredible with what u all do. You all do soo much on top of working with family members also. I have even received emotional support from nurses surrounding my sons diagnosis and they arent even there to help me. What you all do is incredibly hard work!!! I can tell ur going to be an incredible nurse to that unit 
Everyone has bad thoughts…they are not actions. The difference between thinking and acting is that a thought is just that. It is when you act on that thought that things change. You have not done anything wrong just had a very human thought about a challenging child. Do not put yourself down or listen to your intrusive thoughts about being a bad teacher because of that. I come into contact with the most challenging people in my job as a nurse. And the intrusive thoughts are always there when I have a patient who is rude or aggressive. It is my job as the adult and the carer to remain calm and still provide good care to this person even though their behaviour upsets me. When you can have these thoughts but still do your job then that makes you good at your job not bad. Sending you support @SadMemeQueen 
thank you, had to head back to work in a few minutes so I really needed that
I have been on the unit for 4 years and love my work family. It is only an 8 bed ICU so our team of nurses, doctors and allied care members is small but so supportive. The carers of our patients are often the ones we connect with the most as our patients are often not awake or well enough to communicate. It is their loved ones that tell us about the patient and the person they were before their admission, their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, history etc…their input is invaluable to the care I provide and gives me a better understanding of the person i am nursing and not just a body with a set of problems. Then as they recover they are usually comforted by the things i have learned about them while they were not awake and can make a scary situation a lot easier to deal with for the patient and their carers.
In my new role I will be able to shape the way a new ICU nurse sees their patient and how important the role of loved ones and carers have in those early days of their stay in ICU. That is an exciting prospect to me and one of the first times I have dared to peek past ODAAT and look to the future as a sober person. Oh wow!
Day 243
I read a novel years ago and now im rereading it. We Are Water, by Wally Lamb. It sits differently with me now. I am about halfway through.
This job will take lots of energy. Lots of my time. But i made tabouli today which was nice.
Hi friends!
Ree here on day 38 AF and feeling really good. And that is largely due to my daily checkins with you guys! I love reading your posts and recieving such beautiful and supportive replies. It truly boosts my spirits and adds to my hope that I can get through this life sober.
Yesterday at work I found myself talking to a student I have been mentoring for the past 5 weeks about my nursing career and struggles with burnout and addiction and she opened up to me about her own struggles with addiction. She is many years into her sobriety and it was the reason she chose to go to university and study nursing hoping to be able to care for others like she was once cared for. Her nature and skills (despite her level of study) were remarkable. I felt honoured to have been able to encourage and teach her for her final placement before graduating as i know she will make a wonderful nurse. I saw so much of myself in her as she spoke about her past struggles and feelings of doubt. And it turns out that I inspired her over the past 5 weeks as she has decided to pursue a post graduate program in critical care nursing when she graduates because of having me as her mentor! That is such a gift to me and builds my self confidence incredibly.
When I was drinking my insecurities surrounding my abilities as a nurse, wife, mother, friend would consume me and my self esteem was so low. I listened to those thoughts all the time. Now I am sober, I am beginning to learn to ignore them and have noticed they are decreasing in volume and intensity. I am more capable of taking a compliment and believing it instead of brushing it off with a “yeah right” and not believing it is genuine. This feels lovely.
Thank you again friends for your sharing of experiences, your encouragement and support. You have helped me so much.
Love Ree
I absolutely love this!! And THIS is why you are going to be amazing at it!!! Proud of you
You are a blessing @Butterflymoonwoman It makes me smile whenever I get a reply from you. Always filled with positivity 
Second check in
I took a bath and did some journaling.
Feels good to write my thoughts down. The good, the bad and everything in-between.
It really calms the mind, fascinating.
It’s too late to watch a Procreate Tutorial now, it’s 10:17 pm. Time to sleep.
Tomorrow I’ll dive deep into drawing again, already looking forward to it 
Have a good night or a fantastic day wherever you are 