180, checking in.
I am grateful for better mental health, better relationships, to be able to focus on things that really matter to me, grateful for one day at a time. And of course grateful for this little beast who pushed me out of bed this morning (literally). Here we are enjoying a visit at a friends studio earlier. Take care today friends.
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What an achievement @anon74766472 
So proud of you! And thank you for sharing. I remember doing the same thing when I drank. Justified it by thinking about all the good stuff I had done to deserve my consumption of wine at night or on my days off. There was always an excuse or reason that drinking that much was ok. But it wasnt and neither was I. Now as a sober person I struggle but endure, rise and restore myself with healthier choices to cope with crisis. And I attribute it to this community. To people like you. I draw strength from your posts and get hope that I can take it ADAAT and stay sober.
Well done again 
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So, during your 5 min walk, you also produced some pictures as evidence, that you left your horizontal position to get some cookies. 
This is kind of brilliant. 
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Another positive ive discovered today is that sobriety has allowed me the calmness to choose my battles in life, i have a tumultuous relationship with my motherā¦i felt she was pushing for an arguement with me earlier and instead of my usual fight or flight response i stopped, thought about itā¦asked myself do i want this battle? My answer was no Kelly let it go, maybe shes having a bad day and i didnt react, this is just a small thing but a big plus for me 
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Totally 
Waiting for lasagna to cool down and im watching some films now, lots of fireworks going off for bonfire night which is tomorrow.
How has your day been/going depnding where in the world you are?
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Wow, 4 years of sobriety! Huge congratulations to this achievement! 
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@zzz welcome back 
@cjp congrats on 6 months
@ktorres congrats on your week
@anon74766472 wow, congrats on 4 years!
@Twizzlers OMG, you live in my favourite place! 
I named myself after that place 
Also, congrats on 400 days
@hollieberry congrats on 50 days
816 days no alcohol.
281 days no cocaine.
Still feeling sad. On Halloween I became older than my Mum was when she passed away when I was 8. I think itās got to me more than I was prepared for, I canāt think of another reason for feeling so sad, unless itās literal SAD kicking in, since the clocks changed at the same time. Regardless, I went swimming again today, and I had the slow lane to myself for most of it, it was so relaxing. I also managed to watch an episode of Stranger Things in my lounge this morning, something I havenāt been able to do since the summer. Progress.
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Congratulations to 50 sober days! 
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Thank you 
Yes it is a very busy place 5 mins down the road, im on the main road but its such a difference just being 5 mins away.
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Just a regular day with work in the morning, AA meeting and some online playing with friends in the evening. Nothing special at all.
What is this bonfire night? @AEGFletcher and you mentioned it?
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These things (or something like them) always come round again!
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Checking in with 41 days sober!! 
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Good morning friends!
Checking in on 39 alcohol free days! I am up early at 5am doing my usual TS read through, writing and checking in before a huge day ahead. Today is the baby shower for my best friend that I have been planning with her sister. It is going to be beautiful. Her sister is an event planner so this is no ordinary baby shower. It has a theme and a colour scheme and a drinks and treats wagon. The wagon is a beautifully restored horse drawn mobile bar for drinks and treats. I put my hand up for the treats and food side of things and her sister is in charge of the alcohol side of things. We worked together on the decorations which are all in blues, nuetral and white. It is at her brothers farm under a huge marquee with a big white vintage chair for the mum to be to sit on.
I have poured so much energy into this project in the past few weeks and it is exciting that the day is here but I feel so nervous too. It is my first social event since choosing to become sober and my first exposure to available alcohol. There will be alcoholic and non alcoholic cocktails available from big drink dispensers on the wagon and I am worried about the temptation to pour an alcoholic one instead of the non alcoholic one and just pretend like I used to when I relapsed before. I used to pour real wine into non alcohol wine bottles and drink at home in front of my family and no one knew it was happening. I was very deceptive and clever in my drinking. I would drink up to 2 bottles of real wine in the course of a day and no one knew I had fallen off the wagon until I told my husband and best friend 7 days in to my sobriety.
I have however put strategies in place for my continued sobriety and for today. I have ensured accountability myself by talking to my best friend about my concerns. She has spoken to her sister who kindly suggested we keep the alcoholic cocktails seperated on the wagon and clearly labelled and she would pour me a drink if I asked. There is also going to be another table set up with food away from the wagon should I want to get something to eat. It also helps that my best friend is the mother to be and not drinking and has been my biggest supporter through my journey. We had a pamper day yesterday in preparation for today and talked a lot about not only her pregnancy journey but my sober journey too. I am very blessed to her her in my life.
I had a breakthrough at yoga yesterday and was finally able to complete the whole hour with a quiet and calm mind. Usually I spend the first 3/4 to half the session trying to focus and feel the motions that i forget to breath and relax. Something finally unlocked yesterday and for the entire session my mind was quiet and my body relaxed. It felt wonderful. I joined a yoga group one week into sobriety to help me with my anxiety and it has been life changing. At the end I had tears running down my face from the joy of it and the instructor just said āyou have began to locked the secret to yoga today it is so good to have you hereā. She told me after the session that she has been watching my progress over the last month and seen such a change in me. I told her why I joined and she said it all made sense now. My emotional reaction was my mind finally letting go and working with my body to begin healing. I really think that yoga, along with my meds, therapy, AA meetings and my village have set me on a very supportive and positive road to continued sobriety.
Time to go get myself ready for the shower as I am getting there at 830am to help set up and it is already 630am. I will take this day one moment at a time and I go to bed sober tonight.
Much love to you all
Ree
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Day 28. I havenāt checked in for a few days.
My new tires came in. I installed 2 last Tuesday night. For the previous 3 days, I was airing up my bad tire every 2-3 hours, but everything worked out.
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Day 1
Today has been a bit empty if Iām honest. I usually pick my boy up from school but he was going to a fireworks display with his mum and her new boyfriend. So Iāve missed out on some quality time with him. Itās the high point of my day when I do see him. I will see him tomorrow though and I am grateful for that.
This week has been punctuated with one of the more difficult arguments since me and my ex decided to part ways. I am still on the tenancy in the house they are living in. Whilst I am I cannot rent a place of my own as I will not pass the credit checks for a new tenancy. This was fine because I am technically still in the process of buying a house, but my mortgage offer runs out soon and if that happens before I complete the purchase I will need to be able to rent somewhere to live as I am currently in a shared house, which is fine, but can only be temporary.
So I have had to ask her to take over the tenancy on her own. It was due to expire in a month but she had made no move to renew. She may or may not have the finances to do this and she has been rather aggressively trying to get me to be a guarantor to keep her and the kids in the house. Claiming that I donāt care if she and the kids are made homeless (she would have to downsize ultimately and there are places available, just smaller) and that I donāt care about the childrenās wellbeing.
Itās an emotional guilt trip that is tearing me up inside but I also need to be able to move on with my life, get a stable home, a roof over my head where my son and I can call a home just of our own. Itās been draining both mentally and emotionally.
Earlier in the year when I was homeless for a few days she wouldnāt even let me sleep on the sofa at the house so I donāt feel in a particularly charitable mood. I love the my son and my former step daughter but I canāt put my life on hold in order to bail out their mum.
On the addiction front I have had all the usual post session sensations, the agitation, the brain fog, the anxiety. But I know itās coming and I am ready for it. Each day will get better, I need to get into the mindset that using my DOC actually makes me worse. Ultimately I have used it for years to get rid of uncomfortable feelings. Tonight I am sitting with mine. Time to get back in the moment and do things one thing at a time.
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Found $520k of savings in our annual budget. Feeling good about myself 
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I can feel your pain in this post and I am truly sorry you have experienced things that have hurt you so much. I too drank to deal with my pain and still struggle to sit with these feelings now I am sober. I am sorry you missed quality time with your son but recognise how grateful you are for the time you get with him tomorrow and know you will make it special. The best part of being sober and having kids is that you begin to be really present when you spend time with them. Your mind is not fluffy with drink or a hangover and you get to truly connect with them. And they love it! Sobriety was and continues to be the greatest gift I could have given my children. I hope that you are able to sort your living situation and pray you find something 
Thank you for sharing
ODAAT always
Ree
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Love ur share! Good luck with the baby shower. For events that have alcohol, i always try to focus on what I can contribute (my lresence and attentiveness) and what i can take from the event (bonding with others, good sober fun, memories), as opposed to focusing on the alcohol, which then in turn creates anxiety and ultimately a hard event to get thru. I am sure u will do fine!! U have put so much time and energy into this that ull probably be busy there also making sure everything is perfect! Love the share on the yoga session also! Thats huge improvement!! Have a wonderful day!
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Holy wow!!! Thats great news!
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There you are again making my day with your beautiful words of encouragement Thank you my friend it means so much to read them. I am going to take your advise and give the gift of being present. Talking with old and new friends and focussing on the event and not the alcohol. So much of my love and energy has been poured into making today special for my bestie and I know it will be perfect. I have woken to a perfect spring morning too! Much love
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